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how to overcome sexual desires?
cabossimn
Veteran
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I think the time to repress is when sexuality takes over you life and is an obsession.
Your attachment to the idea that you need to be free of desire is what's causing you suffering. Recognize it, observe it, don't let it control you, and move on.
But you make good points, too.
@cabossimn, Why do you feel you need to commit to the monastic life at age 17? There are lots of paths to explore besides just that.
Also, @Brian, the method I outlined is just another way to see sexual desire as inherently empty. Sex isn't more beautiful or repulsive than anything else. Didn't mean to upset anyone...
"What, now, is the Noble Truth of the Origin of Suffering? It is that craving which gives rise to fresh rebirth, and, bound up with pleasure and lust, now here, now there, finds ever fresh delight [D. 22]"
"What, now, is the Noble Truth of the Extinction of Suffering? It is the complete fading away and extinction of this craving, its forsaking and giving up, the liberation and detachment from it. [D. 22]"
My advice is continue your meditation, and you're eightfold path practice. Find a teacher. Stop masturbating or whatever.
I'm all for questioning why you want to give up lust
But I'm all for supporting you if you wanna go be a monk even for part of your life.
at such a young age! No sex before marriage is actually one of the simpliest method to take.
Take alot of the liberal attitude on here with a grain of salt.
Craving needs no additional moral condemnation. The craving already is dukkha and you don't need to pour kerosine on it and make it neurosis and craving.
So go full force, be mindful, choose with enthusiasm and joyful energy, regret with joy that the moon of awareness will come from behind the cloud of neurosis - have faith (rather than have guilt and rumination), and be gentle and lightfooted.
:skeptic: Hmmm...?
Just thought I'd spice up the discussion a little.
There are many ways, they are:-
1) The buddha recommends the asubha meditation practice :- contemplation on the loathesomeness of the body.
2)Anapanasati :- mindfulness of breathing, this has a general calming effect on the mind and disinclines the mind towards coarse mental activity such as sex. if you can perfect just this one thing the bliss that comes from it keeps the mind so content that sex seems like a very small form of pleasure.
3) Vipassana meditation :- burmese tradition where you do body scanning techniques of the sensations on the body and become equanimous with them. this is taught in the goenka tradition. visit dhamma.org to find a place where you can attend a meditation retreat.
4) marananusati :- mindfulness of death, if you practice this it has general effect of cutting away greed, hatred and delusion. however the fear that comes up from this meditation technique has to the properly noted as impermanent. If you develop problems after doing this technique it is better to leave it immediately, this is usually recommended to experienced practitioners only.
5) Generosity :- since generosity is the opposite of greed, it cut's away lust which is also a form of greed to some extent. generosity doens't always mean giving away money, it can also mean giving away time and effort for the benefit of someone else. Also the happiness that come generosity causes the mind to be content and not think about lustful thoughts.
Also read up the suttas, there are lot of stuff on the drawbacks of sensual pleasures and also on the psychology of attraction between the sexes. that might help. also one more thing, the world contains more fools than wise people, so be careful who's advise you take.
then you'll get over it after a while.
everything loses its allure. also the potential for making a child.
that's a thought that really helps in overcoming sexual desires.
hang around parents with kids. that will forever curb your desires into the ground where they belong.
hahahahaha. who says you have to get rid of something inherent in your biology?good luck fighting that battle.
how about we learn how to have meaningful partners with meaningful sex based on affection and honesty and understanding. =]
This is desire
Desire is caused by sensation
The end of sensation means the end of desire
The path leading to the end of desire is the noble 8-fold path
This is not an easy task. Sexual desire is one of (if not the) most powerful and overwhelming sensual desires. It engages all 6 senses at once and culminates in bonding with a partner. Sexual desire is not something that can be easily done away with. And in my opinion, if you are living a lay life, it should not be your greatest concern. Healthy sexual encounters have many benefits and a loving intimate relationship is important for many many poeple. You should focus more on maintaining the precepts and meditating regularly while remaining charitable and kind. This is the focus of lay practice.