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No Buddha in a (expletive deleted) foxhole!
I'm a veteran of the U.S. Air Force. I also am involved in veteran's affairs, specifically I volunteer at the local VA Hospital and also I belong to the local American Legion post.
I was wearing a necklace with the Sanskrit "Om Mani Padme Hum" mantra on it and a guy asked me "What are you wearing?" I explained to him what it was and he looked at me incredulously. He then asked me "Why are you wearing that?"
I told him I was a Buddhist and I like to wear it because I like how it looks. He then said "Their isn't any (f******) Buddha in a (G**D***) foxhole." I was stunned. I replied that it's unfortunate you believe this way and walked away.
My question is how do you react to overtly hostile people like this? I've debated religion on a non hostile way with both Christians and Muslims, and in the end we all tend to smile and go on our ways, but I've never had to hear this before.
Thank you
I was wearing a necklace with the Sanskrit "Om Mani Padme Hum" mantra on it and a guy asked me "What are you wearing?" I explained to him what it was and he looked at me incredulously. He then asked me "Why are you wearing that?"
I told him I was a Buddhist and I like to wear it because I like how it looks. He then said "Their isn't any (f******) Buddha in a (G**D***) foxhole." I was stunned. I replied that it's unfortunate you believe this way and walked away.
My question is how do you react to overtly hostile people like this? I've debated religion on a non hostile way with both Christians and Muslims, and in the end we all tend to smile and go on our ways, but I've never had to hear this before.
Thank you
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Comments
The Brit Hume tizzy was just that: a tizzy. If misconceptions are calmly and factually corrected as they arise, where's the problem?
Then i would try to decide if the guy was what i call a 'shark' - this is my ownb way of knowing if they were open enough to engage in a true meeting of minds conversation or were about to chew me up and spit me out. I would then either talk or not.
I have conflict on a daily basis and i have learnt to spot the 'sharks' - they will simply drain my goodwill and patience...:rolleyes:
It is often possible to use skillful means to defuse people with an agenda.
Palzang
'Is it true you're a Buddhist?' I simply reply;
'Yes.' And that's it
"What are you saying? 'Praise the Lord!'!?" I replied;
"I don't believe in God." I'm really an Agnostic but I believe if anything out there to be a Goddess rather different to how most people view God. That shut him up for a while, however, later on he got up, kneeled down and mockingly started bowing and saying;
"Praise the Big Fat Buddha! Praise the Big Fat Buddha!" Once again I simply told him the Buddha wasn't fat and I don't worship anybody. Then I ignored him. So that's what I do, I calmy correct them and if they continue I ignore them, however I have never been confronted violently, fortunately, so I'm afraid I can't help you their
Love & Peace
Joe
As a vegetarian I have encountered red faced fury simply for existing!
There is, of course, the other explanation for the angry outburst. You made him very uncomfortable by perhaps revealing that he felt very alone with no religion/beliefs to sustain him. Or he may be on the edge, heading for post traumatic stress.
Either way, compassion for him may be a correct view. It may also be expressed by picking a good moment to ask him why he was so angry.
I replied that first of all he'd have to find my belt level before thinking he could hit below it....
Then he told me my 'big fat Buddha was wrong'....
To which I replied, "well as you have two out of those three wrong, you're in good company then, aren't you?"
He shut up after that....
selfbiasresistor, (could I call you SBR for short...?
So, having understood where he's 'coming from', and knowing that he is so set in his ways, that no amount of reasoning or logical debate will convince him to address his views - I just treat his comments with mirth....
But the person you engaged with, came from a seat of bitterness, resentment and anger. So really, I think you did the best thing you could....
We always consider the best riposte long after the event...
But even then, the best might not be the wisest....
What do you think you might do now, hindsight being 20-20 vision...?
When I learned telephone counselling with a Christian group, we were taught to never evangelise. Never mention Jesus. Ever.
Your wearing of the necklace is kind of evangelising, wishing for the opportunity to share your religion.
That is my view.
My view is your wearing of the necklace gives the impression of self-cherishing rather than client centredness. It is essential to be client centred or client focused.
You are adorning yourself unnecessary.
Better to do mantra in your mind with Om Mani Padme Hum than to physically display it.
There are traumatised vets returning from foreign lands and you are displaying foreign languages in a reverential way?
As I said, my professional opinion is your wearing of your necklace is unprofessional.
Kind regards
DDhatu
I know that in the first post I didn't state where I was at, but I was at the Legion Bar after work with some of the guys from work. This is an open to the public type of place. Maybe subconsciously I do want people to ask (good point!) but once again, I do like what it looks like. I don't see how it can be unprofessional? I was not wearing it in a professional setting.
Thank you everyone for your replies. I believe the best course of action, for all of us, is to do our best to educate and act with compassion. I do agree that, especially for older generations, our beliefs can be seen as "voodoo", etc.
Kind of reminds me of a story. I drove a Honda Civic and this guy who I was working with (I'm a Construction worker) asked me "Why don't you buy an American made car?" I replied "This one was the car that best suited my needs."
He replied "I won't drive no Jap car, my dad fought them in World War II."
I then noticed, later, he owned a BMW motorcycle. I held my tongue but wanted to ask him what was the difference between the two? Follow me?
You are correct in being compassionate, as one or two have in-other-words said, I'd find them and explain why they acted like that and take it from there, the best you can hope for is that he opoligises or explains why he said those things, hopefully he doesn't respond angrilly
And the person you mentioned was very stupid I think (with the Japanese car problem) and also a hypocrit. If a close friend or relative was killed by a, Japanese person lets say, and later I met a Japanese person I would not act any more differently to anybody I meet, infact I very much enjoy meeting people from a different country or belief, I find I have very interesting conversations with them
Love & Peace
Joe
DD - I think there are many reasons for varying our outward appearance. Should monks and nuns discard their robes as objects which you could also interpret as 'evangelising'?
Surely, it is not the appearance which matters, but the intention behind it.
I was just looking at some Lion buddhist tattoos as I saw this post. What do you have?
In war where there is just, sadness...anger.. the desire to kill and fear to survive...this place is so sick. It may be the farthest place away from Buddha, Even though Buddha IS there, it's the hardest place to REALIZE or see that it is there..
the poisons are at their strongest... so our potential for clarity.. ..or...rather.. we are at our weakest...
what this guy is saying basically is "there isnt any fkin water in the fkin desert"
there actually is, but if u are dehydrated in the desert, u hardly stand a chance to find water..he's right its so scarce..
I'll PM so as not to derail the thread.
that's good
I don't have any problem with wearing something that denotes your beliefs (I've been known to do the same myself on occasion), but I think what's more important is to actually embody those beliefs. Then your physical adornments become superfluous.
Speaking of Japanese prejudice reminds me of when we were building our Amitabha stupa in Sedona, Arizona. We had to get a permit from the city, so there had to be a public hearing. The only person who had a problem with it was a near neighbor whose house would overlook the stupa. The reason she had a problem with it? Her son had been killed by the Japanese in WWII! So figure that one out: we're not Japanese, we don't follow a Japanese form of Buddhism, but somehow she made a connection to the Japanese. Weird! But irony of ironies, the old codger died off shortly after we got the permit, and her house ended up housing our stupa crew that was building it! Hopefully she got some merit out of that anyway.
Palzang-san
(It doesn't work. But they have not yet learned this.)
They will be angry at your shoe size, if there is nothing else. ; ^ )
Never react while your own emotions are still excitable and reactive. Step back and take a few deep breaths, and do whatever else you usually do to calm yourself. Put a gentle smile on your face and size up the situation from a calm place within you. Than simply do whatever helps to put the other person at their ease as well.
You may actually end up friends.
However, do not put up with physical violence against your person. That would be carrying a good thing too far.
Warm Regard,
S9
Speaking of which I'm under 30 days left in theater, looking forward to getting home soon.
This reminds me of a boy named Adam who goes to my school and I have come to the conclusion hates me but desperately tries to make up a reason for it... It all started a few years ago in Primary School where he thought I fancied a girl he fancied (who would never ever go out with him and who I've never fancied) so he and a group of what I thought were my friends bullied me all year, the worst being hit with a ball and chasen with a bramble
Bushinoki, I agree with you
Love & Peace
Joe
I empathize with the bullied part. I suffered my fair share too in grade school as well. I grew up in small Tennessee which, in America, is identified with the Bible Belt. I think me and my brother, at least at the time, were the only non-Christians at school. That went over like a lead balloon. My parents actually threatened a lawsuit because they had, in a public school, Bible study class. Needless to say, we moved to a more liberal part of the state and it was like night and day. Hang in there kid!
Love and Peace
Love & Peace
Joe
Just a thought.
Ditto. If you cannot replace whatever angry feelings you get with compassion then at least accept your anger and reason out why your anger or hurt feelings are not productive or helpful in any way.
Just let it go. He is entitled to his opinion and if he doesn't know a decent way to express it that is his problem.
What you did was right outwardly. You told him what you had to say and walked away. Now it's time to let it go inwardly too
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oh, that's good.
Someone said the same to me, but politely: When tragedy striksw, you will turn to god".
My calm response was: "I don't know but I doubt it. BUT...neither will I blame him."
He had no response for that.
Thanks
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Just a laughing statement like, “You can say that again,” can make them pause long enough to loose the thread of their own anger. It is confusing not to see another person react in kind.
Remember this:
Very often, they are not angry with you. You aren’t that important in their life. They are probably just angry at everything, and mostly at themselves.
Also:
Often what the person is saying in out loud, in words, isn’t the more important thing that they are actually saying to you.
What they are actually saying might be something about their own pain and misery, and how trapped they feel, or how powerless and confused they feel. So don’t (knee jerk) defend, but don’t accept the pain they want to share either. Step back from the whole situation for a second or 2, and THINK, “What can I do for this person to make it better, in some tiny way?”
Peace begins with you, if you are waiting for it to arrive, you may wait forever.
Buddhism gives us that space we need in order to be compassionate,
S9
That's perfect
M: Someone said the same to me, but politely: When tragedy strikes, you will turn to god".
S9: Actually, I bit when tragedy strikes is when the biggest percentage of people who finally end up turning from God, do it. That is when you find that all of the promises about comfort and protection are not worth the paper that they are written on. We could probably get God for breech of contract. ; ^ )
M: "I don't know but I doubt it. BUT...neither will I blame him."
S9: Stopping the ‘blame game’ is the hardest thing that ego-self will ever do. But until we do that, we can’t pick up the hammer and start rebuilding things (our life) into what we want it to be. Until then, we can only sing songs, and wait on a savior.
Q: "Sit down and do something."
Peace is a skill,
S9
"When tragedy strikes I'll try and get over it by meditating and helping others, I doubt I'd turn to God."
And about the fire-breathing (wow- never met someone who breathed fire) Christian I would reply;
"No, not really, I like to live in the present anyway." I'm not at all saying my way's correct, it's just what I'd do, I tell it how it is and don't let people misunderstand me.
Love & Peace
Joe
Forgive them for they know not what they do.
RE: S9: Later
J: ?
S9: I put a post in the wrong place by accident, but expected to come back, later. HE/HE/HE
And as the fates would have it:
Here I am. ; ^ ) (The crowd claps wildly!)
J: When tragedy strikes I'll try and get over it by meditating and helping others.
S9: Meditation helps us to get into that place of peace within all of us.
And later:
When we can get outside of ourselves, and think about others, we are less apt to get depressed by passing circumstances. Because, self-involvement can all too easily grow into being overly self-involvement, and that is an elevator going down.
Peace,
S9