@Jeroen said:
@person said:
I'll own up to it, its an attachment of mine. Its good to be reminded of the fact that it does add to delusion. Reflecting, I think I've made the decision (at least for the time being) that trying to live in the world and externally letting go of my attachments leads to me living a miserable life.This is the passage in particular that has stayed with me @person. Games are something that lends colour and excitement to life in a safe way. If I were to try and find the attributes I mentioned in the above post in the real world, I’d have to become some kind of world traveller to very adventurous places.
Where I am now is coping with a certain ambiguity. On the one hand I’m glad to have had those gaming experiences, and on the other hand I realise that they are spiritually not helpful, that they do add to the delusion.
I recall a long series of dreams I had during my period of Buddhist studies in which I was back in games development and playing games. They were kind of joyful dreams, but also dreams which presented questions, about programming, generalship, combat, computers, machines even. They began when I had been meditating for a while, and these were part of what convinced me that my period in games development had influenced me on a spiritual level.
I think it had to do with my passion, I was pretty total for quite a while in both work and play, to the exclusion of things like starting a family, which I certainly had the financial room to do.
What I mean by that is there is a sort of inner peace and happiness that comes from spiritual work. I've experienced that at times when I've been able to retreat from the world and focus inwardly. Living in the world requires efforts and activities that stir things up and a level of taking in the neurosis of the rest of the world. What that means for me is I go out into the world, take on negativity, come home and doing the spiritual work means confronting, processing and settling all that stuff. Only to go right out back into it, so all of the difficulty with little of the inner reward.
What a regulated and healthier intake of some worldly pleasures gives me is some kind of worldly happiness in my life. A big part of me would like to live that sort of blissed out meditative life, but for various reasons I'm resistant to taking that plunge. I've spent many years of my life on the edge of that leap, but have now decided that I'm probably not going to take it, so I'm attempting live a life of balance between spiritual and worldly.
I'm venting some of my pain and frustration right now, because like I said a part of me would like to let it all go. But my experience so far has been that the inner happiness and peace rewards of a spiritual life aren't really on the table while living in the world, so I'm stuck with worldly pleasures that aren't so toxic and hopefully have some positive benefit too.
As we gaze upon this wonderous immeasurable expanse, know we are a part of the expanse. We are stardust, we are the measueless universe which we view fim his tiny marble - our Earth.
At times I've had long stretches without work to occupy my days and find myself at the computer all day. What I've done is make sure I'm breaking the time. Every hour I'd make sure to get up and do something else for at least 5 minutes. Something simple like vacuuming or dusting, which often winds up being longer, just getting up and starting being the hardest thing. I'd also do other, more healthful activities like doing an hour of yoga or going on a long walk, even getting up and walking around while I read is helpful for my mood.
Also, digital interaction with people isn't psychologically the same as real time interaction.
Today I’m coming to the conclusion that most of my interactions on forums are very much about comfort and fellowship, and not so much about learning about the spiritual life, that it is more about knowing that I have an effect on the world.
Maybe I should try a week’s digital detox, just to see whether I miss it.
Back in the days when my knees still worked, I practiced Tai Chi. Now Tai Chi informs my every movement and every step I take is Tai Chi. The practice has been very beneficial, and in ways I had not anticipated.
All my devices measure my “screen time” and tell me every Monday morning what the daily average was over the past week. I found it a little bit shocking this Monday.
It occurred to me yesterday that not only games are virtual environments, but so are smartphones, tablets and computers. A web browser is a virtual environment, a forum is a virtual environment. Looked at it that way I still spend a lot of my time on virtual environments. Especially if you also add reading, which I mostly do on my iPad.
So I was wondering how this speaks to spiritual practice. If I think of other things to do, I could try my hand at mindful gardening, or some form of volunteering, probably helping out some spiritual organisation. I could start going for regular walks in the woods. Or I could start outdoor swimming. I wonder if I would be happier, more joyful, more free…
The age old argument of intention/karma or determinism/fate.
In the realm of samsara or causality, intention is all important. What you experienced was the result of past causes. What you do now will determine your future. All a matter of cause and effect.
If you can keep your mind pure instead of allowing anger and hatred in, you break the cycle of abuse and violence.
Of the utmost importance is the company you keep. To avoid foolish people and to associate with the wise is one of life's great blessings.
Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If with an impure mind a person speaks or acts suffering follows him like the wheel that follows the foot of the ox.
Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If with a pure mind a person speaks or acts happiness follows him like his never-departing shadow
"He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me." Those who harbor such thoughts do not still their hatred.
"He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me." Those who do not harbor such thoughts still their hatred.
Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal.
Dhammapada
"Not to associate with the foolish,[5] but to associate with the wise; and to honor those who are worthy of honor — this is the greatest blessing.
To reside in a suitable locality,[6] to have done meritorious actions in the past and to set oneself in the right course[7] — this is the greatest blessing.
To have much learning, to be skillful in handicraft,[8] well-trained in discipline,[9] and to be of good speech[10] — this is the greatest blessing.
@Jeroen said:
Building one’s own organisation, is that not a source of attachment? I would certainly feel that with any organisation I built. There are a lot of avenues through which it might generate a sense of achievement, pride, satisfaction at expounding one’s own vision, at generating a change in the world.
Ultimately attachment occurs in the mind, the "source" isn't out there. Certainly engaging with things like that will stir up attachments. But if the risk of negative emotions arising stopped all well intentioned people from building structures in the world would the rest of us wouldn't have anything good in this world.
Though it is good to be aware of the risk in order to mitigate it. For example, Tibetan teachers bow to the seat they're about to sit on as a reminder to keep their pride down.