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Need some support
I'm taking a long trip into the city today to meet with a legal aid lawyer about getting financial help from the government for my injury that I got at work. It's a long trip so I'm a little nervous about the whole thing.
Could you all think a little thought for me today, please? I'm a little nervous. lol!
Love,
Brigid
Could you all think a little thought for me today, please? I'm a little nervous. lol!
Love,
Brigid
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Comments
I love road trips. Personally, I hate going to Boston for anything...but when I do have to take the day...I make the best of it. I like to plan stupid things....like my favorite run down rest stop for a 'water break', having the toll change handy, bring a book and an umbrella for when I have to wait for my appointment to get back from their lunch. Then I enjoy the people watching, and the smells of a different place. Be Positive!
It's just a trip into town. The weather should be nice, the sun should be shining, with lots of interesting things to see and maybe some place nice to eat.
It's just a trip into town. The weather may be a wonderful rain, a coolness to the air, with lots of interesting things to see and maybe some place nice to eat.
-bf
Have a good and successful day....
It didn't go very well and I'm on my own as far as appeals and applications for help are concerned. Considering I can't even do my taxes, trying to prove my level of disability to the Government of Canada, Worker's Compensation and the Ontario Provincial Disabilities Service seems about as easy a task as climbing Mount Everest. I have to find the strength somewhere to be able to do it and the serenity not to get upset about how badly I'm getting dicked around. The system seems so cruel to me right now because I just can't get any help and I don't understand how people in my condition who don't have law degrees are expected to be able to understand and undertake all of this without any help.
The lawyer I ended up speaking with kept talking over me and wouldn't stop talking to let me get a word in. Every time I tried she just talked louder and louder over my words. She kept shaking her head every time she found an instance where I hadn't appealed a decision and done this or that, as if I could have known to do any of it. She just completely exhausted me. She kept talking and talking, and going into the minutiae of things I didn't understand or need to know and I was in so much pain my head was swimming. I just wanted the facts and to know what I was supposed to do but it was like she was thinking out loud going through my file getting acquainted with my case as if I wasn't sitting there right in front of her. It was pretty awful and very discouraging. I was expecting too much.
I had a really good time with my dad, though. Just knowing he was waiting for me in the car was such a relief. We listened to opera in the car and talked a lot and I brought him out to lunch after the meeting to his favourite burger place. lol! We very rarely go out or eat beef for that matter and he really, really enjoyed it and I got to walk around and stretch my back which was great because I didn't think I could stand another minute sitting. I got home and my pain level was only around 6-7, which is very, very good after a trip like that.
A few years ago I'd have lost control of this situation and been in a crying rage fit at the unfairness of the whole thing. I'd be going out of my mind, driving myself insane over it. But somehow I see that it's just another meaningless thing and I'll survive like I always have. I would have been outraged before but now I see that this happens to other people everyday and I'm not the only one. Big deal. So what? Why shouldn't it happen to me?
Even though it's discouraging to have to figure out how to do all the things I'll have to do, I have the best support in the world really. I have you guys. When I was sitting in that office I kept thinking about all of you and how I would describe the meeting to you and for some reason it made me really calm. I guess it was because I could hear you all in my head and what you would tell me to do, and concentrate on, and what was really important. It was pretty cool. A few years ago I would have felt like the most lost, alone, incapable person in the universe but I was pretty cool today, pretty grown up and together. Even when she kept looking at her watch every time I tried to speak. lol! It was awful,.... but it was O.K. lol! So I'm alone in this. So what? I'm a smart person, I can figure this out. I think it's time for the squeaky wheel approach and I can be pretty persistent when I want to be.
I'm going to spend the next few days making a list of things I need to do to get this process started. I'm taking control, no more sticking my head in the sand. I'm going to try to contact Xrayman and ask him what I should be getting my doctor to request when it comes to MRIs and CAT scans and so forth. He told me about NucMed something or other and an injection of dye so that the injury shows up better, or something. Anyway, he knows about that sort of thing. Then I'm going to find other people who have experience in this sort of thing and I'm going to do research. I'm going to meet it head on like the Taurus I am and I'm going to get the restitution I deserve, dammit! (I'm opening the window now and shouting "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!!" lol!!
Then, when I get a handle on how to get things done maybe I'll write a blog devoted to dealing with all these agencies and shit and how to get the help you need when you get hurt at work in Ontario.
But right now I'm going to take a nap.
I love you all from the bottom of my heart.
Your Friend,
Kim
Just call my name. And i'll be there (cheesy music etc.)
DISCLAIMER: Although, I won't be there in the sense that Michael jackson would be there for his "Little Friends"......Just move away, and don't make eye contact.
sooner or later they will pay you to shut-up (yes I know that's not really Buddhist or Christian, but you know what? either is letting a deserving member of the community miss out on compensation for work performed and injury sustained by the fascist bully-boys of industry (there's my rage)
MAINTAIN THE RAGE.
regards,
X
A word of caution: there will be people who will give you information and if you come on too strong, they may be turned off. It's tricky to figure out who knows what and how much they really know. So many have a little information so the key I think is to find who knows what. After making inquiry after inquiry, you'll begin to find your way around. It sounds to me that your challenge is to find out how to adequately document your injury. Are there any free legal resources around where you live? Local/regional office of disabilities? Sometimes it helps to start from more local, less centralized offices to initially gather information. Often, people who work at the bigger level see so many people--some with legitimate claims, others not--that they get jaded. If you were injured legitimately, you should benefit from the help available. Remind everyone that YOU are the injured party; YOU are the one who needs help.
I'll be pushing good vibes in your direction too, B.
Peace
Xray,
LMAO! Bless you, bro.
Quest,
The legal clinic I went to is the regional one, unfortunately. I know I was too passive with her but I was just too exhausted and in too much pain to push it. She really had my head spinning. I was under the impression that they were there to help me and be a sort of advocate for me but they "don't have the resources" to help me document my injury or apply for reassessments or applications. They can offer advice, very little of which I could understand because she was talking so fast in legalese, but I think I got the gist of it. I'm going to have to figure out how to do this on my own with my doctor's help, of course. And XRAY'S! He gave me the most incredible info on what kinds of tests I should be asking for and how I should ask them to do them. My doctor doesn't even know this kind of info but then again he's a GP, not an Xrayman! But my doc is sending me to an orthopedic surgeon in Ottawa for an oppinion. NOT for surgery, though.
But you guys are right. I've been way too passive through this whole thing and it's time for me to stand up for myself and get squeaking! I'm getting dicked around because I'm letting myself get dicked around and I'm letting that happen because the bureaucratic crap baffles me. So, I'll just have to teach myself how it works, get a backbone and get the help I'm entitled to and that's all there is to it. I gotta get savvy. Savvy and squeaky and solvent. lol!
I just saw this thread! Also, I am just getting back into the swing of things after being ill. Anyway, I am so sorry to read of what has been happening to you. If you wish, I will be glad to light a candle for you and send some healing energy your way! Just let me know!
Adiana:usflag:
As you know I didn't see this thread until now. Let your pain drive you and not hold you back. Let it be a reminder that you have to keep going on this. If not for yourself then for the next person that has to deal with it. You can do this. I know your pain is unbearable at times......So when you need to rest. Rest. But when you start to get down let it be your driving force.
We will all be here to help you anyway we can. I know that you have the strength to see this thro.
Take Adiana up on her healing energy and don't forget Kwan Yin.......
You are always in my prayers and I send positive energy your way.
Remember...........
Namaste'
I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells.
I honor the place in you which is of Love, of Truth, of Light and of Peace.
When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me,
We are one.
Adiana,
If it's not a hassle for you in any way I'd be very grateful for the lighting of a candle. I've had very strong success as a recipient of Wiccan work before so I'd very much appreciate it and I thank you for thinking of me.
Deb,
Thank you so much. Just rereading the Namaste meaning has perked me up. I always find it so beautiful. And I will rise to this challenge, not only for me but for anyone who comes after me or for whom I may be of some help.
When I put this call out I didn't know how much I'd be needing it at the time. When I got home and was all down in the dumps I came here and found all of this. I really can't express the gratitude I feel to all of you, I really can't. I can't find the words to express how comforted and supported I feel. I guess all I can say is thank you and I love all of you so much, from the bottom of my heart.
It IS kinda cool, isn't it......?
It is good to see that your are still here as well! You are so right! There are a lot of compassionate and caring people here.
Brigid,
I have lit a candle on my altar and empowered it with healing energy. May you find the inner peace, strength, and confidence to deal with all you are having to face. Please know that the Lord and Lady are enfolding you in Their Loving Embrace.
Adiana:) :usflag:
many years ago I went for a job in a field that really I was not qualified for. i wanted to get into the medical Imaging field. Coming from a defence, radar/electronics/industrial automation area it was "drawing a long bow". However I KNEW I wanted this SO BAD. I studied part-time on a study-at-home correspondence course-Human Biology and Society. (really, not really medical electronics, but health/medicine related) I rang my (up to that time, ) prospective employer-went to their website-learned all the important Buzz-words etc. and then rang and whined and whinged and bleated by phoning him on a weekly basis asking "anything going as far as jobs are concerned?" I turned myself into the persistant pest that was not going to go away until I got that job. IWAS THE SQUEAKIEST WHEEL! After six months I got it! He actually said to me " youre not going to go away until you get your way are you?" I said "No way".
I've had a legal situation a few years ago and I needed the same gusto! In this case, they were going to have to pay me to go away!
Now you have to do something similar-too many people just want us "NICE" folk to just "GO AWAY", in your case you want them to pay you to go away.
Come on you CAN and WILL do it even if you are tired and sore, think about the Asbestosis victims who fight for their compensation until death if need be. Maintain the rage-you WILL get there-PUSH the Doctor, Push the Government-DON'T give up.
DON'T GIVE UP (Kate Bush and Peter Gabriel)
In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail
No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I've changed my face, I've changed my name
But no one wants you when you lose
Don't give up
'Cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not beaten yet
Don't give up
I know you can make it good
Though I saw it all around
Never thought I could be affected
Thought that we'd be the last to go
It is so strange the way things turn
Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground
Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up
We don't need much of anything
Don't give up
'Cause somewhere there's a place
Where we belong
Rest your head
You worry too much
It's going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Don't give up
Please don't give up
'Got to walk out of here
I can't take anymore
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That river's flowing
Oh that river's flowing
Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job, so many men
So many men no-one needs
Don't give up
'Cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not the only one
Don't give up
No reason to be ashamed
Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up now
We're proud of who you are
Don't give up
You know it's never been easy
Don't give up
'Cause I believe there's a place
There's a place where we belong
I love that song.
regards,
Richard.
grr im mad for you .. geesh and they say our medical system is great and
its great to live in canada for that reason... pfffff...
i dont have alot of experience to help you in that area.. i did havea lil neice
that has now past away. my sister spent 1000's a month to keep her alive out
of her own pocket. anything uncommon and the government doesnt help.
my thoughts in meditation will be with you in your journey with this.. even
though i couldnt be with you in the begining of the process.
take care.. and yes you do have a support system here.. also im sure your
determination will resolve the other issues.. sounds like you are on the right
track..
: )
Your suffering is my suffering. Your pain is my pain. All living beings suffer, but when it's a friend it has extra bite. You know? You can't help others unless you first help yourself, so for our sake, face this with patience, courage, understanding, and determination. Remember if you focus on helping people, (you first!) you can't go wrong.
I want you well, happy, and peacefull! I mean that with all my heart! That is the Kamma I'll be sending your way.
May the blessings of the Three Jewels be with you always!
Sadhu,
Sadhu,
Sadhu.
I like to think I'm a fairly strong individual but I suspect that I would not have been able to handle this challenge very well without this sangha. I've always been suspicious of leaning on others because I felt that I had to learn how to stand on my own two feet. But I think I missed an important point; I can't do it alone and I can't expect myself to be able to. That's probably why the Buddha made such a big deal about friendship and support in the sangha. As always he was right.
I'm going to use the opportunity this challenge gives me to research how to fight for one's rights in a situation like mine and I'm going to document the journey in a blog which will serve a few purposes. It will help me keep everything organized, dated and documented and it may also be of some help to someone else. Even the mistakes I'm bound to make will be useful to others. For some reason, when I think of taking on this monumental task alone and only for myself I just feel tired and I want to avoid the entire thing. But when I think of it as a chance to maybe help someone else my adrenaline starts to flow and even my back doesn't hurt as much. I get psyched. lol!
So why not take advantage of the available technology and publicly document everything that happens when I try to fight for my rights? Knowing that I'm going public with all the crap they're going to put me through will help me stay calm, focused and encouraged because I won't be getting kicked in the teeth in private. lol! And just think of how many personal injury lawyers I'll be helping when I sign up for Adsense, Google's subject sensitive ad service for websites and blogs? LOL!
Thank you all again, so much. When I walked out of that meeting I was so disempowered. But you've all given that power right back to me, even when I wanted to wallow. But there's no time to brood. I've got a couple of governments to annoy. Fight the Power!!
I can't even tell you how badly I needed to hear that, Richard. We must be some kind of twins. We must be. lol!
Fede,
LOL! I used to sing that song when I was little! I should start singing it again. Thanks for the reminder.
"cuz she's got..HIGH HOPES, she's got...HIGH HOPES... she's got...big apple pie in the SKY hopes..."
I'm sorry I didn't know about this until today. Dealing with the legal system is frustrating. When the lawyer let me know I didn't have a case against the hospital, I was disenheartened. You bust your butt for an organization just to have them kick you in it when you're down.
But, know that you have a plethora, a cornucopia, a wealth of bear hugs coming to you from Royal Oak!!! I'm still tempted on driving up there so we could meditate together. Then we could have lunch. A light one, I'm watching my weight! LOL!
On another note, what you told me about chronic pain is insane. Pain is pain. That is what we are taught in nursing school. The pain level is what the patient says. The person who said that chronic pain was a psychiatric problem needs to feel the pain you go through. And too bad you didn't have Dave Chappelle's "end it" box. It plays music and claps like they do when they want to cut someone off at an awards show! She sounds like she needed it.
Now that I've said that, she is a fellow sufferer and I should probably think compassionate thoughts towards her. "May her briefcase carrying all the jobs that she will have to do for money fall out and the disk they are on corrupted and her computer crash to show her that life is impermanent." How's that?
Thank you so much my dear friend! Did I ever need that laugh.
Maybe I'm indulging in fancy but everyone here seems to have the most uncanny sense of timing.
And this is all contingent on being able to get the evidence in the first place. I'll have to have exactly the right test for this kind of injury and I haven't seen anyone yet who can tell me what the right test might be. And even if I find someone who knows what test I should have I'll be on a very long waiting list, months and months. And then the results have to be unequivocal to prove the disability.
It's pretty much an impossible task that's going to take a lot of time and energy. Just when I learned to put it behind me and focus on the now I have to go back and go through the whole thing again so I can satisfy the agencies. And then I have to go through whatever tests hoping something bad enough to warrant financial support shows up when I've been visualizing the injury healing and disappearing for the last two years. It's all crazy and it sucks big time. But life is suffering and I can't pretend that it isn't. All I can do is deal with it and that's what I'm going to do.
This isn't about getting financial help right away. I have a small monthly income coming in and with the help of my family I can get by for a little while. This is about long term help that I'll need when my parents die and there's no one left to help me. I can't live in my own on $500 a month, and that amount will be lowered in the next six months as well.
The fact is that I got injured at work and it was a preventable injury and my ex-employers even fixed the problem after I got hurt. But according to legal aid, none of that matters because I still have to prove that I'm so physically disabled that I can't work and thus deserve loss of earnings benefits higher than I'm receiving now, which is roughly $250 a month, and being cut, as I said, in the next six months. I don't know how much they'll take off but it doesn't really matter because I have to prove my disability to stop them from cutting it.
I'm glad this is a thread I started because I'm just going on and on...
I'm sick of thinking about this so I'm taking a break from it for a couple of days. I'll keep everyone posted in general here and in detail on my blog Know Your Disability Rights.
Thanks to everyone again. I love you all so much.
I'm keeping you in my thoughts.
I cannot tell you how often you (and many others here also) cross my mind on a daily basis...I send good thoughts your way ALL the time so even though you didn't know it... I WAS thinking of you...
Metta to you!!!!
love,
Sharpie
I love this place.
These things are so frustrating. I'm not unfamiliar with fighting the system to obtain help with the most basic of needs, with hubby being in a wheelchair, everything can be a fight.
Just sending you my best wishes and support and hugs and wishing you all the best
Sas
Jerry,
I LOVE Janis! In my opinion her version of "Summertime" is the best ever recorded and one of my most favourite songs ever. My father once came down to the basement (ONLY the teenager's realm) when he was a little inebriated and he sat down in the big armchair and I played "Summertime" for him and he cried and said "All she wanted was to be loved."
And it's so obvious in her vocal delivery. You could almost hear her heart breaking a little bit more every time she sang. I love "Summertime", "Piece of My Heart", "I Need a Man to Love", "Turtle Blues" "Try (Just a Little Bit Harder)", "Mercedes Benz" and "Me and Bobby McGee". A friend of mine bought me the 3 disc set for Xmas last year. It's fantastic.
Adiana:wavey:
feeling better about it? coming to any resolve?
just wondering..
Thanks for asking. I'm off to Ottawa next Sunday for my Monday morning appointment with the orthopedic surgeon who also does sight injections. I also see my regular doc this Thursday. Last time I saw him he had no hopes that we would be able to get a picture of the injury and I still don't understand why so I'll have to get a full answer on Thursday. Without visible proof my chances for getting any financial help are extremely thin so I'm just taking it one day at a time. Who knows? Maybe the sight injections will cure me!! lol! You never know. But I'm not getting my hopes up. I've learned that lesson enough times already.
In a week and a half I'll have a better idea of where I stand and I'll let you know. I think I might also post a request for good thoughts for my Monday morning appointment in Ottawa with the surgeon. I'll probably do that right before I leave for the train station in Sunday. I always feel so much better when I know my sangha's wishing me well. I suppose that's selfish, eh? lol!! Oh, well, I gotta be selfish about this thing sometimes.
I'm also going to read through this thread before I go because it will help me a lot and put me in the right frame of mind so I don't get sucked into the "helpless victim" crap that I seem to get into when I'm dealing with this stuff. Whatever happens, good or bad, I'll let you know. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I really can't tell you how much it means to me.
Maybe the "sight" injections may cure my cockeyed problem...
I have been "found to be a person with a substantial disability as defined in the Ontario Disabilities Support Program Act"!!!! I've been approved for the Ontario Disabilities Support Program, the one I applied to last January! I'm so incredibly relieved. I still have to build a case for the other governmental programs but at least I have this. I won't actually know the specific details for another month but I'll let you know what it means then.
What I do know is that it's a GREAT thing!!
im smiling.. really smiling .. and im sure you are feeling relieved to say the least.
im guessing .. some peace of mind for financial reasons, humble yet proud for your
struggles and accomplishments.
rest my dear.. and.
honor this somehow!!!.. go out and do something fun, or special.. you deserve it.
I love you guys.