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Congrats to you, Brigid. While it may be a mild victory for you, it's victory nonetheless. Rent whatever looks good to your fair eyes, be spontaneous! And have a great day tomorrow. Love from Cali!
P.S.: I understand Pema answers all letters to her personally...
That must be such a relief, Brigid. And any victory in the unending struggle against bureaucracy is to be celebrated - doubly so if it is by someone we love!
BTW: grey hair is the sign that you have conquered the gods because "those whom the gods love......" I wear mine with pride (and it's cheaper than getting highlights, as I used to)
I have been "found to be a person with a substantial disability as defined in the Ontario Disabilities Support Program Act"!!!! I've been approved for the Ontario Disabilities Support Program, the one I applied to last January! I'm so incredibly relieved. I still have to build a case for the other governmental programs but at least I have this. I won't actually know the specific details for another month but I'll let you know what it means then.
What I do know is that it's a GREAT thing!!
Brigid,
Alright! Fantastic! I am so happy for you! Thanks for posting this because I was wondering how things were working out.
I have been "found to be a person with a substantial disability as defined in the Ontario Disabilities Support Program Act"!!!! I've been approved for the Ontario Disabilities Support Program, the one I applied to last January! I'm so incredibly relieved. I still have to build a case for the other governmental programs but at least I have this. I won't actually know the specific details for another month but I'll let you know what it means then.
What I do know is that it's a GREAT thing!!
Congrats! It would be nice to hear that you're fit again, back in good form and able to work once again, but I'm glad to see you're making good progress in any form you're in :canflag:
I just got back from seeing the orthopedic surgeon in Ottawa and read your lovely messages of support. Thank you all so much!! My heart's bursting...I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have friends like you. And you got it, Simon. Any victory over the bureaucracies is a good one! lol!! And a very satisfying one, too.
The surgeon injected my back with cortisone twice but it hasn't helped so far and was very sore from the shot for a few days. Yuck! I have to go back next Monday, all the way to Ottawa again, for another shot. This time I'm taking a morning train in for my 8:55am appointment and then taking an afternoon train back home.
BUT....I also saw a massage therapist after the doctor and she told me that you shouldn't have more than three cortisone injections in your whole lifetime!!!! The doctors didn't discuss anything about these injections with me other than the fact that they have helped others. They didn't tell me about any side effects or any of the negative things associated with steroids etc. So I have homework to do. I'm going to be researching it for the next few days since my doctors didn't feel the need to inform me. :nonono: If I start to grow a beard or develop strange cravings for chili, beer and football, you'll be the first ones to know....
I just got back from seeing the orthopedic surgeon in Ottawa and read your lovely messages of support. Thank you all so much!! My heart's bursting...I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have friends like you. And you got it, Simon. Any victory over the bureaucracies is a good one! lol!! And a very satisfying one, too.
The surgeon injected my back with cortisone twice but it hasn't helped so far and was very sore from the shot for a few days. Yuck! I have to go back next Monday, all the way to Ottawa again, for another shot. This time I'm taking a morning train in for my 8:55am appointment and then taking an afternoon train back home.
BUT....I also saw a massage therapist after the doctor and she told me that you shouldn't have more than three cortisone injections in your whole lifetime!!!! The doctors didn't discuss anything about these injections with me other than the fact that they have helped others. They didn't tell me about any side effects or any of the negative things associated with steroids etc. So I have homework to do. I'm going to be researching it for the next few days since my doctors didn't feel the need to inform me. :nonono: If I start to grow a beard or develop strange cravings for chili, beer and football, you'll be the first ones to know....
Brigid,
I am so glad that you are getting the help you need! As for the cortisone shots and all the other
OUCH! I gotta agree that doctors sometimes don't feel the need to inform you of all of the facts and to me, that's scary!
I do have to say that while I don't have a beard or drink beer, I do LOVE my chili and watching football! HEHEHEHE! ROFLMAO! Hope you feel better soon, my friend!
Well, I've been debating whether to go back in to Ottawa this Monday to get another shot but realized that I need Dr. Forget to help me somehow in my battle with the WSIB. He's some kind of big wig apparently and his intervention might help me with the bureaucrats. So, after much research on the Metyilprednisonal, I've decided to go back in and give it another shot. Pun intended, I'm afraid. lol! I've read that these injections could take a while to work so I'll just have to be patient.
My original idea of taking the train into Ottawa in the morning and then taking a train back home in the afternoon was pretty daft and luckily I realized my folly before I put myself in a dangerous situation. I too often overestimate my functional abilities so I had to book another hotel room for Sunday and Monday and I'll return home on Tuesday. It's all pretty expensive but I'll send all the receipts to the WSIB for a laugh and see if they bite.
On a very happy note, my friend Eirlys from Wales, whom I haven't seen or heard from in 15, years has found me and we're now back in contact. She was my very best friend and I can't tell you how much this means to me. She found my profile in MySpace then tracked me here where she sent me a message. Good thing, too, because I don't go to MySpace that much anymore. My dial up connection is a little too slow and I have a lot of irritations when I go there. It's so wonderful to be back in contact with her and I'm so thrilled my head's just spinning!! lol!
So that's where I'm at now. Thank you all again for the incredible support and care you've all given me. I really don't know what I'd do without my sangha. I'll keep you posted!
Well, I've been debating whether to go back in to Ottawa this Monday to get another shot but realized that I need Dr. Forget to help me somehow in my battle with the WSIB. He's some kind of big wig apparently and his intervention might help me with the bureaucrats. So, after much research on the Metyilprednisonal, I've decided to go back in and give it another shot. Pun intended, I'm afraid. lol! I've read that these injections could take a while to work so I'll just have to be patient.
My original idea of taking the train into Ottawa in the morning and then taking a train back home in the afternoon was pretty daft and luckily I realized my folly before I put myself in a dangerous situation. I too often overestimate my functional abilities so I had to book another hotel room for Sunday and Monday and I'll return home on Tuesday. It's all pretty expensive but I'll send all the receipts to the WSIB for a laugh and see if they bite.
On a very happy note, my friend Eirlys from Wales, whom I haven't seen or heard from in 15, years has found me and we're now back in contact. She was my very best friend and I can't tell you how much this means to me. She found my profile in MySpace then tracked me here where she sent me a message. Good thing, too, because I don't go to MySpace that much anymore. My dial up connection is a little too slow and I have a lot of irritations when I go there. It's so wonderful to be back in contact with her and I'm so thrilled my head's just spinning!! lol!
So that's where I'm at now. Thank you all again for the incredible support and care you've all given me. I really don't know what I'd do without my sangha. I'll keep you posted!
Brigid,
Sounds good! Give me a call if you want to. I will PM you my phone number, okay?
Good for you Boo! WOOHOO!!!!! YIPPEEE!!!! HOORAY!!!!! I can understand a bit of what you're going through when my paycheck is less than the bills d/t my injury. I don't get assistance but probably could.
But the main point is that you have gotten something. Please refresh me. You have a soft tissue injury? If I remember right they don't show up well on xray, but have you had ct or mri scans on the area of injury? If you have, make sure to have the reports on them. That is going to show them that you are truly injured.
Hi Brigid,
I'm so glad to hear you are making progress! I think happy thoughts for you often, I picture you well and happy, enjoying life on the farm. No worry, just positive. I hope it's working.
You'll never guess where I am...at the train station in Ottawa on my way home. Injections didn't work and I have to go for 2nd MRI in Oct. REALLY hoping for a pic this tme! Love to all, Boo.
make sure that they image the correct ROI (Region of Interest!), this time-demand it! you may even ask for Gad (gadolinium) contrast material-to ensure adequate hyperintensity of the injured site/nerve root (personally that is where I think you have the issue).
Okay, I have that copied down as well as the other advice about these tests that you gave me a little while back, Xray. Thanks, bro. I appreciate it!
Thanks Jake and Iawa! How lovely of you both to send me your good wishes! Thank you so much.
Jerry,
Yes, this will be my 2nd MRI and I've had a ct scan as well. My doc is pessimistic about getting any kind of picture of the injury and I still don't know why but I will combine Xray's advice and some good old fashioned chutzpa and see what happens.
Are you able to get a NucMed scan (bone scan of the vertebrae?), maybe that may show it? although the MR might be fine-provided they get the right area this time..
And if all that fails, please feel free to come down and circumabulate the Migyur Dorje Stupa at our temple in Maryland. It was built especially for hopeless cases. I've seen miraculous events happen there, even curing a man with terminal AIDS.
I've had a bone scan but I don't know if it was NucMed...I lay on a table and the machine rotated around me. But nothing showed up on that one.
But I'm convinced it's a soft tissue injury. I don't know why. And for some reason I don't think it originates at the spine. It feels like it's off to the left side quite a ways. But then again I don't really know. All I know is that it felt like a muscle or something on the left lower back ripping at the time I injured it and whatever I did to it at that time caused muscle spasms and pinching of the sciatic nerve because I had pain all the way down the left leg and into the foot and couldn't put any weight on that leg for at least a minute or so.
Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you, Xray. My doc says that the MRI DID actually take pictures of the area and nothing showed up but I don't know how he knows that. It's all a big mystery.
Palzang,
If I could travel that far I'd come to the stupa and walk around it but I'm afraid Maryland is just way too far for me to go. But you never know...
So now that I'm back home and rested I can tell you the rest of the story. When I saw the specialist (orthopedic surgeon) for the second time in Ottawa (Monday of this week) he asked me if there'd been any change and I told him "Not yet" and he said "Well, if there's been no change yet it's (the prednizone injection) not going to work because it works almost immediately and it works for almost everyone I use it on." And that's when he told me that I needed to go for another MRI in case they missed something. I asked him if he could do anything to help me build my case for reassessment with the WSIB because they have me assessed at 24% disabled but I got that assessment more than a year ago when I was still able to work and drive and wasn't even using a cane to walk. He said that a 24% assessment was quite high and that the only way to get assessed at a higher percentage would be if I were to have surgery and that even then the percentage wouldn't rise that much higher. He told me he has a patient who's had three operations on his back and he's only assessed at 31%. But in any case, he told me to send a registered letter to the WSIB stating my reasons for wanting a reassessment etc. So, he's not going to contact them or anything but at least I can use his name in the letter. I'll wait until after the MRI and try to get some sort of statement about my condition from him that I can use in the letter. In the meantime, I just have to wait until I get the call that my MRI is scheduled and then I'll have to go back into Ottawa for that.
So I'm back to the waiting game. I'll keep you posted and I'll also let you all know what happens when I hear from the ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program) people.
Thank you all SO much for all the support you've given me. I never realized how much it would end up meaning to me and helping me. I'm very grateful to all of you. Up until I came to this board I'd been dealing with this whole thing primarily on my own. My parents knew about it, of course, but I didn't like telling them about the details because they tend to worry, especially my father, and with his bad heart I don't want to add to any of his stress. So it's been such a relief to get this stuff off my back (so to speak) and to share the burden with others even though that's not usually the way I do things. It's taken me years to be able to ask people for help. I don't know why...pride? Shame? I don't know. But I do know that I'm very, very grateful to have friends that I can open up to without the fear of judgment or any other crap. Not dealing with this alone, like I usually deal with things, has opened my eyes and it's made me feel empowered and cared for all at the same time.
Ahh I'd prefer to take that with a healthy pinch of salt-thanks.
Oh, and you were there to witness it? I was, and his HIV count went from over a million to zero virtually overnight. And he's a doctor, so he knew the score. He's still alive and very healthy some 10 years later as well.
He was in an advance stage of the disease, which he had had for over 15 years. He had Kaposi's Sarcoma that was untreatable. His liver was greatly distended. He was basically on death's door. Then we did a practice for him at the newly consecrated stupa, and the next week his HIV count was zero. He was able to get plastic surgery for his KS once his HIV count dropped. His liver returned to normal functioning. Of course, this is but one of many examples I could cite, though certainly one of the most dramatic. But if you wish to ignore what's right in front of you, I guess that's your perogative.
He was in an advance stage of the disease, which he had had for over 15 years. He had Kaposi's Sarcoma that was untreatable. His liver was greatly distended. He was basically on death's door. Then we did a practice for him at the newly consecrated stupa, and the next week his HIV count was zero. He was able to get plastic surgery for his KS once his HIV count dropped. His liver returned to normal functioning. Of course, this is but one of many examples I could cite, though certainly one of the most dramatic. But if you wish to ignore what's right in front of you, I guess that's your perogative.
"Don't believe everything you think!" is one of your quotes, I agree.
I prefer to maintain a healthy level of scepticism.
Just make sure it's actually healthy. (I do understand where you're coming from, though).
_/\_
metta
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited September 2006
FWIW, whilst I understand and accept the 'healthy level of scepticism', I feel I must swing towards Palzang's view of things, having also witnessed for myself a turn-around in the condition of a friend, whom Doctors had repeatedly diagnosed as incurable... If you would forgive the reticence, I would prefer to not give detailed information of their condition....I do not have that right, without discussion with this person.
Suffice to say, they had been advised to prepare for their final days....
After a protracted vigil, by close friends and family, literally 'working in shifts' around the clock, after three days, the doctors declared that the condition was reversing, and that vital signs were returning to normal. This was eight years ago, and the person breathes, lives, walks and talks a perfectly normal life, free of any medical intervention or medication.
'Prayers' were varied and multi-denominational....But all were devout and sincere.
Never, but never under-estimate the Power of Prayer.
FWIW, whilst I understand and accept the 'healthy level of scepticism', I feel I must swing towards Palzang's view of things, having also witnessed for myself a turn-around in the condition of a friend, whom Doctors had repeatedly diagnosed as incurable... If you would forgive the reticence, I would prefer to not give detailed information of their condition....I do not have that right, without discussion with this person.
Suffice to say, they had been advised to prepare for their final days....
After a protracted vigil, by close friends and family, literally 'working in shifts' around the clock, after three days, the doctors declared that the condition was reversing, and that vital signs were returning to normal. This was eight years ago, and the person breathes, lives, walks and talks a perfectly normal life, free of any medical intervention or medication.
'Prayers' were varied and multi-denominational....But all were devout and sincere.
Never, but never under-estimate the Power of Prayer.
From my close encounters with hard skepticism, I would guess that they would argue that such dramatic, unforeseen turnarounds happen without rituals or prayer as well and that it is difficult (for that reason) to consider prayer/ritual reliable in a scientific sense. However, there are times where the correlation between prayer & recovery is so pronounced & direct, that they should probably consider that there might be some sort of turning of mind behind these recoveries, and the 'placebo affect', which may be encouraged by certain practices such as prayer, ritual & meditation.
Anyway, I've had enough personal experiences to take my pinch of salt with a pinch of salt. So, at this point I will just flat out admit that I don't really know, nor am I certain whether I will ever be able to make such a conclusive determination. Nonetheless, either people are lying about certain events (intentionally or unintentionally), or there is some empirical basis for the efficacy of prayer.
This will definitely be the last post by me on this topic:
Please also take note that there are many different strains of HIV. eg: HIV1 and HIV2. and if we really want to get technical, SIV (Simian Immunodeficiency Virus. the ape viral-type) which is indistinguishable from HIV1.
HIV1 is the least virulent and possibly recoverable from version of this disease.
This will definitely be the last post by me on this topic:
Please also take note that there are many different strains of HIV. eg: HIV1 and HIV2. and if we really want to get technical, SIV (Simian Immunodeficiency Virus. the ape viral-type) which is indistinguishable from HIV1.
HIV1 is the least virulent and possibly recoverable from version of this disease.
Not to beat a dead horse, but as I said in my previous posts (and which you either didn't read or chose to ignore), he had had full-blown AIDS for over 15 years, was literally on death's door and is a physician. Do you think he hadn't tried every known remedy? And then all of a sudden it all went away spontaneously? C'mon! That would be much harder to believe than prayer helping him! The power of prayer, as Fed points out, is well known. It doesn't matter to whom or what you pray. Xian prayer is as potent as Buddhist prayer or Hindu prayer or Muslim prayer. It does create miracles, and to deny it isn't skepticism, it's denial.
I can't recall, from my limited knowledge, what Buddha taught about the power of prayer.
It does seem odd that so much of the Buddha's teachings regarding The Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path are very non-arcane, very non-mysticalish - very non-prayer.
bf, here's a little explanation I found that kind of sums it up from a Buddhist perspective:
The Purpose of Buddhist Prayer
Buddhist prayer is a practice to awaken our inherent inner capacities of strength, compassion and wisdom rather than to petition external forces based on fear, idolizing, and worldly and/or heavenly gain. Buddhist prayer is a form of meditation; it is a practice of inner reconditioning. Buddhist prayer replaces the negative with the virtuous and points us to the blessings of Life.
It is quite possible the Buddha didn't address "prayer" per se, I dunno, but he certainly did talk about meditation, compassion, wisdom and the rest.
Oh... I'm totally down with the compassion, meditation, etc. I completely agree with that.
I'm just saying that I don't know what prayer does. I know that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (she had sisters who died from breast cancer) - so she went to church and got all prayed for.
Well... she went back in for tests later and there was no breast cancer to be found.
Now... my mom is kind of a nut job - but my dad is very steady, very even-keel. He said that ~that~ is exactly what happened.
What exactly happened? I don't know. *Something* certainly happened.
I guess my lack of faith in prayer comes down to myself alone. I guess that if people really believe in the effects of prayer - I think it may truly do something. I mean, all that mental energy is directed somewhere and who are we to say where it goes.
But... I also believe that if you don't really and truly believe in praying when you do so - how effective is it? Just like that priest that stood up to that vampire in Salem's Lot - remember? Remember? Damn!, he was spooky lookin' wasn't he? Anyway, that priest didn't hold up his end in the faith department and the vampire wound up puttin' the whammy on him.
So... the moral of this story? If you pray for people to get better and you really don't mean it - you will be killed by a vampire.
Well, my answer to that would be - who cares how it works? Maybe it was a hallucination or cosmic ray that chanced by at the right moment (yeah, right!), but what difference does it make? The point is it worked. It doesn't always work, but it often does. When I was in Tulsa with my roommate treating his cancer, there was a healing prayer group from a local megachurch that came in once a week and held a prayer session. I have to tell you that the hairs on the back of my neck stand up whenever I encounter people like that (my prejudice), but they had stories of several miraculous cures they had experienced (and they were doing it for patients in a cancer hospital, so it's very easy to check up on them). I don't doubt that they did. Whatever prayer does, it is very potent. My answer, based on what little I know, would be that it's really a function of merit. People die when their merit stream runs dry. By having people pray for you, they're essentially dedicating the merit of their prayers to you, so your merit stream can once again become robust, and the threat to you life will recede. Now that's not written in any sutra or anything, just my opinion. But no one can argue that there have been seemingly miraculous cures due to prayer.
Being a skeptic at heart, the most sincere answer I can give to this is "I don't know". I do find it difficult to say that prayer works for healing as there are many people that have prayed for healing for their loved ones and they have died. Are we to question their sincerity or value of belief? If someone does get better of an incurable disease, I'm sure the American Medical Association would be most interested in their case. I've seen to many ministers saying that this person was healed of this or that and no change occurred. I hope for him that it has happened.
Again, I am not saying that it did or didn't happen for this gentleman. I don't know. But I know that my best friend died of AIDS and tried everything he knew how to do to stay alive and it didn't work. This was pre-protease inhibitors when AIDS was a death sentence. It brings many questions to my head, which there they will stay.
Help! I'm being enveloped by waves of metta! Glub!
Well, like I said this is but one example among many. I've seen it happen time and time again in our sangha and with others we've prayed for. Yeah, it doesn't always work. People still die. When your karma is gone, you're gone. But still I have seen many outright miracles happen. One of our anis has been pulled back from the brink of death several times. One time she was diagnosed with a serious, potentially lethal heart condition. We did lots of prayer for her (when I say lots, I mean around the clock for days), and when they took her in for her cardiac catheterization, they found nothing! The doctors were in shock. There was no medical possibility that this could occur, yet it did. And that's just one time with her. There were a couple more as well. And others of our sangha as well. That doesn't mean it always works. My roommate with cancer is going to die from it at some point. He's already been told that. So all we can do for him is to help him prepare for his next life. He's lucky that he has the opportunity as many don't. So yeah, I'm a firm believer in the power of prayer - especially when you've got a dakini doing it for you!
Just one last thought on this subject before I shut up and go away - If I were someone who doubted the power of prayer, or the reality of rebirth or whatever, I think the posture that I would develop (at least if I had enough sense to see it) is that the answer would be revealed to me. The Buddha said that the Dharma is there for whoever has ears to hear and eyes to see. If you're not seeing it, you need to create the conditions that will allow you to. I'm out of here...
Comments
P.S.: I understand Pema answers all letters to her personally...
If you want something buddhist to watch, follow this one :rolleyesc
http://www.zenmovie.com/trailer.html
Regards,
Erik
BTW: grey hair is the sign that you have conquered the gods because "those whom the gods love......" I wear mine with pride (and it's cheaper than getting highlights, as I used to)
Love ya - Kim
Cool!
Palzang
Brigid,
Alright! Fantastic! I am so happy for you! Thanks for posting this because I was wondering how things were working out.
Adiana:wavey: :rockon: :bowdown: :wow: :wow: :usflag:
Congrats! It would be nice to hear that you're fit again, back in good form and able to work once again, but I'm glad to see you're making good progress in any form you're in :canflag:
The surgeon injected my back with cortisone twice but it hasn't helped so far and was very sore from the shot for a few days. Yuck! I have to go back next Monday, all the way to Ottawa again, for another shot. This time I'm taking a morning train in for my 8:55am appointment and then taking an afternoon train back home.
BUT....I also saw a massage therapist after the doctor and she told me that you shouldn't have more than three cortisone injections in your whole lifetime!!!! The doctors didn't discuss anything about these injections with me other than the fact that they have helped others. They didn't tell me about any side effects or any of the negative things associated with steroids etc. So I have homework to do. I'm going to be researching it for the next few days since my doctors didn't feel the need to inform me. :nonono: If I start to grow a beard or develop strange cravings for chili, beer and football, you'll be the first ones to know....
Brigid,
I am so glad that you are getting the help you need! As for the cortisone shots and all the other
OUCH! I gotta agree that doctors sometimes don't feel the need to inform you of all of the facts and to me, that's scary!
I do have to say that while I don't have a beard or drink beer, I do LOVE my chili and watching football! HEHEHEHE! ROFLMAO! Hope you feel better soon, my friend!
Adiana
My original idea of taking the train into Ottawa in the morning and then taking a train back home in the afternoon was pretty daft and luckily I realized my folly before I put myself in a dangerous situation. I too often overestimate my functional abilities so I had to book another hotel room for Sunday and Monday and I'll return home on Tuesday. It's all pretty expensive but I'll send all the receipts to the WSIB for a laugh and see if they bite.
On a very happy note, my friend Eirlys from Wales, whom I haven't seen or heard from in 15, years has found me and we're now back in contact. She was my very best friend and I can't tell you how much this means to me. She found my profile in MySpace then tracked me here where she sent me a message. Good thing, too, because I don't go to MySpace that much anymore. My dial up connection is a little too slow and I have a lot of irritations when I go there. It's so wonderful to be back in contact with her and I'm so thrilled my head's just spinning!! lol!
So that's where I'm at now. Thank you all again for the incredible support and care you've all given me. I really don't know what I'd do without my sangha. I'll keep you posted!
I haven't visited here in awhile, but I read your update just now!
CONGRATS!
Brigid,
Sounds good! Give me a call if you want to. I will PM you my phone number, okay?
Adiana
But the main point is that you have gotten something. Please refresh me. You have a soft tissue injury? If I remember right they don't show up well on xray, but have you had ct or mri scans on the area of injury? If you have, make sure to have the reports on them. That is going to show them that you are truly injured.
Here is truly hoping that you get some help!
Great picture!
I'm so glad to hear you are making progress! I think happy thoughts for you often, I picture you well and happy, enjoying life on the farm. No worry, just positive. I hope it's working.
Palzang
Hillarious--
Brigid glad to hear the tide is flowing again, best of wishes.
Steve
cheers Boo
Thanks Jake and Iawa! How lovely of you both to send me your good wishes! Thank you so much.
Jerry,
Yes, this will be my 2nd MRI and I've had a ct scan as well. My doc is pessimistic about getting any kind of picture of the injury and I still don't know why but I will combine Xray's advice and some good old fashioned chutzpa and see what happens.
Thanks to all!!!
Palzang
But I'm convinced it's a soft tissue injury. I don't know why. And for some reason I don't think it originates at the spine. It feels like it's off to the left side quite a ways. But then again I don't really know. All I know is that it felt like a muscle or something on the left lower back ripping at the time I injured it and whatever I did to it at that time caused muscle spasms and pinching of the sciatic nerve because I had pain all the way down the left leg and into the foot and couldn't put any weight on that leg for at least a minute or so.
Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you, Xray. My doc says that the MRI DID actually take pictures of the area and nothing showed up but I don't know how he knows that. It's all a big mystery.
Palzang,
If I could travel that far I'd come to the stupa and walk around it but I'm afraid Maryland is just way too far for me to go. But you never know...
So now that I'm back home and rested I can tell you the rest of the story. When I saw the specialist (orthopedic surgeon) for the second time in Ottawa (Monday of this week) he asked me if there'd been any change and I told him "Not yet" and he said "Well, if there's been no change yet it's (the prednizone injection) not going to work because it works almost immediately and it works for almost everyone I use it on." And that's when he told me that I needed to go for another MRI in case they missed something. I asked him if he could do anything to help me build my case for reassessment with the WSIB because they have me assessed at 24% disabled but I got that assessment more than a year ago when I was still able to work and drive and wasn't even using a cane to walk. He said that a 24% assessment was quite high and that the only way to get assessed at a higher percentage would be if I were to have surgery and that even then the percentage wouldn't rise that much higher. He told me he has a patient who's had three operations on his back and he's only assessed at 31%. But in any case, he told me to send a registered letter to the WSIB stating my reasons for wanting a reassessment etc. So, he's not going to contact them or anything but at least I can use his name in the letter. I'll wait until after the MRI and try to get some sort of statement about my condition from him that I can use in the letter. In the meantime, I just have to wait until I get the call that my MRI is scheduled and then I'll have to go back into Ottawa for that.
So I'm back to the waiting game. I'll keep you posted and I'll also let you all know what happens when I hear from the ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program) people.
Thank you all SO much for all the support you've given me. I never realized how much it would end up meaning to me and helping me. I'm very grateful to all of you. Up until I came to this board I'd been dealing with this whole thing primarily on my own. My parents knew about it, of course, but I didn't like telling them about the details because they tend to worry, especially my father, and with his bad heart I don't want to add to any of his stress. So it's been such a relief to get this stuff off my back (so to speak) and to share the burden with others even though that's not usually the way I do things. It's taken me years to be able to ask people for help. I don't know why...pride? Shame? I don't know. But I do know that I'm very, very grateful to have friends that I can open up to without the fear of judgment or any other crap. Not dealing with this alone, like I usually deal with things, has opened my eyes and it's made me feel empowered and cared for all at the same time.
Gratefully yours,
Boo.
Oh, and you were there to witness it? I was, and his HIV count went from over a million to zero virtually overnight. And he's a doctor, so he knew the score. He's still alive and very healthy some 10 years later as well.
Palzang
It is possible he may be one of the few who are immune, (but then he wouldn't be in-as you put it, an advanced state with AIDS).
"Don't believe everything you think!" is one of your quotes, I agree.
I prefer to maintain a healthy level of scepticism.
I'm not saying your peceptions were/are wrong. I said I'd like to take it with a pinch of salt. My choice.
with respect,
Xrayman
Palzang
There's more to life than what we see.
Just make sure it's actually healthy. (I do understand where you're coming from, though).
_/\_
metta
Suffice to say, they had been advised to prepare for their final days....
After a protracted vigil, by close friends and family, literally 'working in shifts' around the clock, after three days, the doctors declared that the condition was reversing, and that vital signs were returning to normal. This was eight years ago, and the person breathes, lives, walks and talks a perfectly normal life, free of any medical intervention or medication.
'Prayers' were varied and multi-denominational....But all were devout and sincere.
Never, but never under-estimate the Power of Prayer.
From my close encounters with hard skepticism, I would guess that they would argue that such dramatic, unforeseen turnarounds happen without rituals or prayer as well and that it is difficult (for that reason) to consider prayer/ritual reliable in a scientific sense. However, there are times where the correlation between prayer & recovery is so pronounced & direct, that they should probably consider that there might be some sort of turning of mind behind these recoveries, and the 'placebo affect', which may be encouraged by certain practices such as prayer, ritual & meditation.
Anyway, I've had enough personal experiences to take my pinch of salt with a pinch of salt. So, at this point I will just flat out admit that I don't really know, nor am I certain whether I will ever be able to make such a conclusive determination. Nonetheless, either people are lying about certain events (intentionally or unintentionally), or there is some empirical basis for the efficacy of prayer.
_/\_
metta
Please also take note that there are many different strains of HIV. eg: HIV1 and HIV2. and if we really want to get technical, SIV (Simian Immunodeficiency Virus. the ape viral-type) which is indistinguishable from HIV1.
HIV1 is the least virulent and possibly recoverable from version of this disease.
here is my (last) 2cents on the matter...
http://www.newscientist.com/channel/sex/mg19125665.000-hivresistant-people-give-new-drug-clues.html
something to mull over.
regards,
xrayman
Promises, :poke: promises
Not to beat a dead horse, but as I said in my previous posts (and which you either didn't read or chose to ignore), he had had full-blown AIDS for over 15 years, was literally on death's door and is a physician. Do you think he hadn't tried every known remedy? And then all of a sudden it all went away spontaneously? C'mon! That would be much harder to believe than prayer helping him! The power of prayer, as Fed points out, is well known. It doesn't matter to whom or what you pray. Xian prayer is as potent as Buddhist prayer or Hindu prayer or Muslim prayer. It does create miracles, and to deny it isn't skepticism, it's denial.
Palzang
I can't recall, from my limited knowledge, what Buddha taught about the power of prayer.
It does seem odd that so much of the Buddha's teachings regarding The Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path are very non-arcane, very non-mysticalish - very non-prayer.
I'm still up in the air about it.
-bf
The Purpose of Buddhist Prayer
Buddhist prayer is a practice to awaken our inherent inner capacities of strength, compassion and wisdom rather than to petition external forces based on fear, idolizing, and worldly and/or heavenly gain. Buddhist prayer is a form of meditation; it is a practice of inner reconditioning. Buddhist prayer replaces the negative with the virtuous and points us to the blessings of Life.
It is quite possible the Buddha didn't address "prayer" per se, I dunno, but he certainly did talk about meditation, compassion, wisdom and the rest.
Pally
I'm just saying that I don't know what prayer does. I know that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (she had sisters who died from breast cancer) - so she went to church and got all prayed for.
Well... she went back in for tests later and there was no breast cancer to be found.
Now... my mom is kind of a nut job - but my dad is very steady, very even-keel. He said that ~that~ is exactly what happened.
What exactly happened? I don't know. *Something* certainly happened.
I guess my lack of faith in prayer comes down to myself alone. I guess that if people really believe in the effects of prayer - I think it may truly do something. I mean, all that mental energy is directed somewhere and who are we to say where it goes.
But... I also believe that if you don't really and truly believe in praying when you do so - how effective is it? Just like that priest that stood up to that vampire in Salem's Lot - remember? Remember? Damn!, he was spooky lookin' wasn't he? Anyway, that priest didn't hold up his end in the faith department and the vampire wound up puttin' the whammy on him.
So... the moral of this story? If you pray for people to get better and you really don't mean it - you will be killed by a vampire.
-bf
Palzang
Again, I am not saying that it did or didn't happen for this gentleman. I don't know. But I know that my best friend died of AIDS and tried everything he knew how to do to stay alive and it didn't work. This was pre-protease inhibitors when AIDS was a death sentence. It brings many questions to my head, which there they will stay.
Well, like I said this is but one example among many. I've seen it happen time and time again in our sangha and with others we've prayed for. Yeah, it doesn't always work. People still die. When your karma is gone, you're gone. But still I have seen many outright miracles happen. One of our anis has been pulled back from the brink of death several times. One time she was diagnosed with a serious, potentially lethal heart condition. We did lots of prayer for her (when I say lots, I mean around the clock for days), and when they took her in for her cardiac catheterization, they found nothing! The doctors were in shock. There was no medical possibility that this could occur, yet it did. And that's just one time with her. There were a couple more as well. And others of our sangha as well. That doesn't mean it always works. My roommate with cancer is going to die from it at some point. He's already been told that. So all we can do for him is to help him prepare for his next life. He's lucky that he has the opportunity as many don't. So yeah, I'm a firm believer in the power of prayer - especially when you've got a dakini doing it for you!
Just one last thought on this subject before I shut up and go away - If I were someone who doubted the power of prayer, or the reality of rebirth or whatever, I think the posture that I would develop (at least if I had enough sense to see it) is that the answer would be revealed to me. The Buddha said that the Dharma is there for whoever has ears to hear and eyes to see. If you're not seeing it, you need to create the conditions that will allow you to. I'm out of here...
Palzang