Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@newbuddhist.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take up to 48 hours. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

Random acts of kindness.

VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran

Habits need to get started right? Sometimes we can spend so much time trying to figuring WHAT to do....that nothing gets done..so here are great ideas for acts of kindness. Simple things from taking your neighbor's trash can out/in....to showing interest in people who are differnt than you. From giving more hugs to just being more polite online...
May we all start a few of these ideas....

https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-ideas

lobsterShoshinTravellerWalkerZenniKennethmmomisecmisc1

Comments

  • ZenniZenni Veteran

    @shoshin - totally!

  • geniegenie Explorer

    @Shoshin said:

    I am finding this very hard to do. Sometimes I feel this burning rage, and I wanna hurt people who hurt me. Feels like justice. I know it's wrong, but I still feel that way. Most of the time I suppress my feelings, but the feelings are there. Buddhism has not helped me overcome this so far.

    dantepw
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran

    @genie have you tried meditation? your thoughts are not wrong or right. But you do not want to create bad karma to make your life worse. but your thoughts are not your fault; you didn't make them be as they are.

    TravellerEmmalou
  • CinorjerCinorjer Veteran
    edited May 2015

    @genie said:
    I am finding this very hard to do. Sometimes I feel this burning rage, and I wanna hurt people who hurt me. Feels like justice. I know it's wrong, but I still feel that way. Most of the time I suppress my feelings, but the feelings are there. Buddhism has not helped me overcome this so far.

    First, if your life is filled with people who actually do want to hurt you, then you need to work on finding new people to be around.

    However, most of the people I know who have this problem are looking for reasons to get angry at people and take any casual mistake as a personal insult. That's how "road rage" ends up in a tragic confrontation. I won't try to psychoanalyze you, but this is usually something learned from an early age and it can be unlearned. But, you had an entire lifetime to learn bad mental habits so it's going to take time and effort to break them.

    In other words, you're doing OK. The only thing I can suggest is don't suppress your feelings because that means you're still clinging to them as "mine, and I earned them and besides I'm right and they're wrong." Instead let the anger go back to the nothing it came from. It's just anger. If you let go of anger, it won't be there to bother you any more.

    JeffreyTravellermmokarasti
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran

    @genie said:
    I am finding this very hard to do. Sometimes I feel this burning rage, and I wanna hurt people who hurt me. Feels like justice. I know it's wrong, but I still feel that way. Most of the time I suppress my feelings, but the feelings are there. Buddhism has not helped me overcome this so far.

    There's nothing wrong with real justice.
    But what you are describing sounds more like revenge.

    Success in controlling such emotions is not a snap of the fingers and hey, we're done. It's something that develops within us over time. So each time you suppress such feelings, celebrate, and build on that success.

    JeffreyCinorjer
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    @genie said:
    I am finding this very hard to do. Sometimes I feel this burning rage, and I wanna hurt people who hurt me. Feels like justice. I know it's wrong, but I still feel that way. Most of the time I suppress my feelings, but the feelings are there. Buddhism has not helped me overcome this so far.

    @genie, My advice when it comes to Revenge and as @Jeffrey mentioned meditation can help, especially "Metta" meditation :)

  • ZenniZenni Veteran

    @genie - there was a time when I had much misery in me. It was impossible to forgive.

    I held on to a phrase "out of the filthy mud yet untainted" (lotus) which I read while I was flipping a a random magazine.... I WANT TO BE ME. I will not allow the circumstances to change who I am. So in a small way, I was already living mindfully. But... How to forgive??

    @cinorjer - First, if your life is filled with people who do want to hurt you, then you need to work on finding new people to be around.

    While you are at it, you need healing...

    Meditation.

    Buddhism has taught me to, not to pay attention to my thoughts.
    Because my thoughts (mostly, if not all) are about the past and the future.

    Buddhism teaches me to be in the now and that I can come back to the now by focussing on my breath. And while focussing on my breath, when thoughts arises, I allow them to come (still focussing on my breathing) and go. To, not to hold on to them, thereon becomes the second arrow.

    Recognizing that the aggressors themselves are victims, helped.

    Focussing on the truth of impermanence, that all of conditioned existence, without exception, is transient... brings comfort.

    Chanting is calming...

    Sending you the energy of loving kindness <3

    Namaste
    Zenni

    ShoshinCinorjermmo
  • ZenniZenni Veteran

    @federica - thank you very much <3
    You mentioned the term "second arrow" in one of your recent posts.

    @genie - in case you are new to Buddhism (like me), please google "second arrow Buddhism"

  • lobsterlobster Veteran

    @genie said:
    I am finding this very hard to do. Sometimes I feel this burning rage, and I wanna hurt people who hurt me. Feels like justice. I know it's wrong, but I still feel that way. Most of the time I suppress my feelings, but the feelings are there. Buddhism has not helped me overcome this so far.

    Try martial arts if possible. You learn to understand and have an outlet for these feelings. As a very aggressive and angry individual I know how much time is required for the feelings to be transformed. Buddha was a warrior if that is any interest ...

    Meditation is useful, yoga too. In fact without such physical disciplines I might have been far more explosive.

    Keeping the genie corked, or letting the fuming out bit by bit to blow away ... <3

    ZenniWalker
  • KennethKenneth Veteran
    edited May 2015

    @genie, If it is available and affordable, I would suggest you see a therapist about your anger. He/she may be able to help you gain some insight and coping skills. This combined with meditation can help a lot. <3

    lobsterZenni
  • geniegenie Explorer

    @Kenneth said:
    genie, If it is available and affordable, I would suggest you see a therapist about your anger. He/she may be able to help you gain some insight and coping skills. This combined with meditation can help a lot. <3

    If therapists are angry, how can they help me?

  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Veteran

    Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not someone else. It isn't about excusing their behavior or accepting it. It's about letting go of the pain and moving on.

    Why would you assume, @genie, that therapists are angry? There are, in more urban areas, even Buddhist-based therapists. So not only can they help you work through stuff, they can help you do it with Buddhist practice in mind as well.

    I agree about evaluating the people in your life if you find they are constantly causing you pain. Why are they there, then? To some degree, the saying about "we treat others how to treat us" is true. When you let them treat you badly and keep them in your life, you are telling them it is ok to do so. If they cannot be talked to about their behavior then sometimes it's time to back away and let them fall out of your life.

    I always liked Thich Nhat Hanh's quote about this topic. Something like "When someone hurts you, it is because their suffering is overflowing and they need help." I do find it helpful to remember that people treat others poorly usually because they were treated poorly themselves. It is not meant as a way to excuse the behavior, but to look at it from a different point of view so that you don't accept the negativity yourself. It really has nothing to do with you.

    TravellerZenni
  • KennethKenneth Veteran

    @karasti said:
    Why would you assume, genie, that therapists are angry? There are, in more urban areas, even Buddhist-based therapists. So not only can they help you work through stuff, they can help you do it with Buddhist practice in mind as well.

    @genie, my therapist is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy practitioner. Increasingly, CBT incorporates Buddhist like mindfulness techniques. When I told him that I had experimented with meditation, he recommended a couple of books by Dr. Tara Brach who is a Buddhist psychotherapist. The books are:

    Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

    True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart

    These books were instrumental in my establishment of a consistent, daily meditation practice and sparked my initial interest in Buddhism. You may wish to go to Amazon.com and use the "look inside" feature to see if these books may be of value to you.

    Zenni
  • lobsterlobster Veteran

    Yesterday I visited a hut in Africa as part of a special exhibition. It showed how to adopt children. Raising funds to volunteer I could go teach monks ... :love:
    http://www.gvi.co.uk/programs/volunteer-buddhist-novice-monks-laos/

    However maybe I can only get as far as my keyboard, local volunteer centre or Church ... :3

    Bodhissatva fail! :(

    Must need more training ... B)
    http://m.wikihow.com/Be-Kind

    <3

Sign In or Register to comment.