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lobster Veteran


Last Active
  • Re: Spiritual livelihood in the western world

    And all I can do, is function to the best of my ability, doing what I am best at.

    If I focus on my actions and attitude, rather than what I am selling, then perhaps my focus is not so misplaced..

    Exactly so.
    We have had active soldiers here, professional hypochondriacs, wer-lobsters :3 , monks, kids, people dying or retired, etc. etc.
    All had one thing in common. They were doing the best they could and ... wished to do better ... hence Buddhism.

    The world is (prepare yourself everyone) ... imperfect/dukkha. We can improve our situation and that of others by not being cruel soldiers or malicious sales people (forced selling of goods) or professional whingers/critics/demons ...

    In other words we can be compassionate and wise, even in difficult jobs or realms ...

    As I said to my boss the Buddha only this morning,
    'How am I doing?'
    Back came the reply, 'rubbish!' 😔 Oh well must try harder ... or is that easier ... B)

  • Re: What has meditation ever done for us?

    What does that mean, "not mention our interior state" model in eastern cultures?

    The concept of self-effacement is rooted in the Confucian principle of propriety, which requires that individuals maintain a degree of humility, that reflects their standing in society and promotes modesty, fitting in, not sticking out, and not bragging

  • Re: Testing my patience

    @seeker242 said:
    By inhibiting those reactions with a strongly developed metta practice, outside of those particular times.

    That is my preferred option too.

    Metta bhavna to contact and rewire our emotions and eventually a constant residing in metta.
    There is no quick fix, especially with impairment that is in the body. It helps to explain later to the individual if the option exists.

    I have two family members who push my anger buttons, no matter how patient I try to be.

    The other day I was congratulating myself on how patient I was being with one of them. Patient, calm, understanding ... was doing so well. And then bam. Explosive anger. It was resolved quickly but it is not pretty ... return to the breath as @DhammaDragon mentions.

  • Re: Uposatha Day Observance

    The five precepts are easy. Few reasons it's easy, the law, medical health, and just not interested in looking for anyone to do-it with. What I did instead was broke down the precepts since I keep them naturally. We can steal with our words-if someone is having a good day, we may steal it with our negativity. Sexual impurity could be stealing the looks of an attractive person when he or she didn't give you "the permission" to look longer than natural reactions. Killing, in the liturgy book we were given at refuge, says it could even be enjoying someone else being hurt or put to death. Agreeing to taking a life for whatever means. I put my action and drama videos away. It took awhile to get used to the non-clinging. So far, it has worked. With enjoying people getting hurt, I think that comes because many see humans as "sinners" so we still belittle the weak and encourage the strong. As for high beds, one can interpret that as a step towards humility. If the Church didn't give me a bed (and food and clothing), I'd still have my little cot.

    I guess it depends on what one is attached to. Meditation helps.

    My understanding too. Well said @Carlita B)

    You introduce the subtelties and continuity of the path, making one always a beginner ...
    Don't get too holy too quick ... we must have balance in lay life as others mention. You are making considerable progress from what I perceive ... <3

  • Re: Right speech, awkward conversations and fitting in

    but it feels wrong and awkward to just sit silent like a lump.

    It does? Sounds like my meditation practice at times. ;)
    I too feel @mindatrisk offered pertinent advice but can we turn the wrong and awkward into a practice opportunity?

    @mindatrisk said:
    Have confidence in kindness and your own goodness.

    COD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.

    Not the Buddha