Lessons on dealing with difficult times

Brian

I got a phone call this morning at 8:30 from my landlord, asking why my door would be open and the alarm would be shut off. While sparing the details, I'll just say that my office got robbed again this morning. I say again because it got robbed yesterday as well, and again two months before, and once a month before that. In all, my total losses amount to around $6,000 worth of computer equipment. I own a small business, and am struggling to make ends meet, so this comes as a serious blow to me.

Now, I will tell you honestly that I am not angry at the thief or thieves. I am not angry at the loss of the equipment, it can be replaced. I was angry earlier and I snapped at my wife when she asked me some questions, and for that I am ashamed. On a side note, it's funny how we tend to save our worst moments for the ones we love the most.

The most overwhelming emotion of the day is sadness. Sadness that people must stoop to boorish measures such as petty theft in order to get money for whatever they need money for. Perhaps it's something as ignoble as a drug habit or something as noble as "I'm too poor to buy christmas gifts for my kids", who can say?

I left a note for the thief, as he or she will no doubt be back. It says:

"Dear Thief,

I hope the things you stole bring you happiness. You have forced me to move, so I regret that I will no longer be able to provide things for you to take.

Sincerely,

A struggling small business owner."

I have spent most of my day trying to keep my mindfulness and trying to be aware of the moment. My meditations for today consisted of "at least I am safe. at least my family is safe and healthy. at least the people I share office space with are safe. at least the things they took will not put me out of business. at least nothing critical has been taken"

This is what I did to try to get through this difficult time. I write this with peace in my heart. I honestly feel calm about the whole thing. There are many extraneous worries, such as finding a new office, a big event at my office that I have been planning for months that now must be postponed, and how I will replace the equipment that got taken, but I have pushed all of those things out in favor of appreciating the fact that nobody got hurt.

It hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be.

I wish peace and happiness for the person or people who robbed me. Obviously they have some pain in their lives that is overwhelming. I wish they didn't have to go through whatever problems in their lives caused them to do this.

Camman

Hey prime....errr Brian...., sorry to hear about your break in. It's very honorable to see you dealing with a theft like this in such an understand and calm way, I can't say that I could do the same in that situation. Is this 'big event' you refer to the S-M Lan? Just curious.

Brian

Yes, the S-M Lan party was the big event that I was referring to.

Thanks, Cam. It's been a tough day, my wife is really upset with me because she feels that I had ample warning and should have gotten things out of there sooner. She's probably right, but I still can't find it in me to be angry about the things that got stolen... I'm just... not mad about it... it's weird.

:blink: nothing's ever easy.

tycho

Whoa, okay A) i am really sorry to hear about your loses brian. i cannot imagine how much of a setback that must be to the company. i hope that you have sufficent insurance to help things out...

and B ) it is very impressive to hear your feelings towards the thieves and the computers and whatnot. i dont know that there would be many people out there who could react the way you are. on one hand, i certainly hope for your business to succed, on the other hand they are only possesions... hence the difficulty of being buddhist in the western world.

Jason

hey brian. i can't believe your office was hit again! get the hell out of dtown. anyway, i'm glad that you're ok besides that. although i'm doing ok at the temple i miss having coffee with you guys. it's pretty quiet and lonely here most days. i like the site and i hope i can contribute something useful.

Brian

Thanks, Jay.. Yeah, we are getting out of the D. I can't conduct business here anymore. It's time to find a safer place to work from.

I imagine it can get pretty lonely at times. (Just so everyone knows, this is a friend of mine who went away to Wat Dhammasala in Perry, MI. Wat Dhammasala celebrates the Thai forest tradition, and he's on his way to becoming a monk)

I've been spending a lot more time at Wat Buddhavihara. I'm helping Achahn Pimol and Achahn Charlyut with their English, and they are helping me with.... well, with everything I guess

Jason

hahahaha you know what? i think you should be here instead of me. if it were me that had been robbed, i think i would have thrown one hell of a temper tantrum. although i understand where you're coming from. i had a cd player stolen from me once and instead of getting angry and upset over it, i just thought, " oh well it's just a thing. maybe the person who stoled it needed it more. i hope it brings them some kind of happiness." i really didn't care. i was also going to the vihara a lot too. just being around the monks made me have a different outlook on things. a few days of meditation there and i felt pretty good. after me and my girlfriend of two years broke up i started going more and more. i couldn't eat or sleep and i was in a constant state of depression. i went by the temple every chance i could, and after sitting and meditating with the monks the tightness in my stomach would cease. so i would run right over to pi's thai and eat as much as i could. that is one reason i decided to become a monk, to give myself fully to practicing and studying. the more i did it, the happier i was. although it is nowhere near as easy as i thought, and i haven't even begun my real training yet. but i hope that one day if i ever run into somebody like me, i will be able to give them good advice and help them through difficult times. if more people acted the way brian did, the world would be a much happier place. revenge, ill will, and anger are useless. they only cause more suffering.

Brian

As a strange update (and bringing back this thread from the dead), I found the laptop that had been stolen from our office. It somehow made its way to Portland, Oregon, and then was sold via eBay to somebody in Plattsburgh, NY. The Detroit Police, the Plattsburgh Police, and the person who has the laptop now are all cooperating in getting the laptop back to me.

Karma in action, I hope.

Brian

And as a final update, the laptop was returned last month. We have it back. It has been all across the country, but it is back home now

Justin

GREAT!!! Is it in working order and all?


BTW- That is karma.

tycho

I don't know how I missed this...

but thats great Brian! Karma in action for sure.

Brian

Yeah, not only was it in fine working order, it had a new screen, new keyboard, and new hard drive from the warranty work that allowed me to find it in the first place

Justin

Let this be a lesson to all of you. Although you should let go of possessions, it never hurts to keep the warranty information in case someone else tries to claim one of your possesions as their own.