stuck on the second and third noble truth...attachment

lightlotus

i have been having this wondering thought surrounding the concept of attachment. Im not sure if im reading too far into this and wondering off thought. I came into Buddhism via a period of long term illness and a lot of my trail of thoughts end up with me reliving that time of sheer stress. Now that im going back to basics im just thinking about the concept of attachment. My question is this - if you have no attachment to anything and your dwelling in a state of emptyness. Are you not just limiting your own life?

Had I not chased say that career goal (noble truth 2) i would not be at this stage of meditation practice. I have pushed people away out of my life and its the odd wandering thought that crossed my mind had i not suffered i would not be where i am right now. Does pushing people out of your life in aim to have a reduction in suffering leave you emotion less?

How far do you follow the guidance of removing attachment and maintaining emptiness in your life?

Yacababy

You don't have to push anyone away or give up on your goals. I am still attending school and once I graduate I will amp up my Buddhism practice.

Just don't grow attached to the people in your life, don't NEED them to love you. ....I don't believe you need to push them away at all. Love them, be social but don't define yourself by them. If you were to push everyone away in a perhaps less than accurate understanding of attachment how would you attend sanghas? Or meditation classes? I personally believe pushing people away may increase suffering. Though it depends are you pushing away people who mentally drain you or offer no support? Or loved ones?

It's not about pushing people away or controlling your emotions. You are supposed to embrace your emotion and be aware of it and in doing so it loses it's grip over you. Buddhism is not about becoming robotic or cold it is about loving kindness, reducing the suffering of yourself and others and helping to understand the ebb and flow of thoughts that are in our minds. Have you read any Thich Nhat Hahn?

DhammaDhatu

Does pushing people out of your life in aim to have a reduction in suffering leave you emotion less?

hi there

non-attachment does not mean pushing people out of one's life

non-attachment is to not cling to things very personally, in a way that causes selfishness & obsession

non-attachment is relating to people without trying to control them or getting overly caught up or entangled in their joys & sorrows

non-attachment is to be able to let go of things when inevitable change occurs

for example, if our body get sick, non-attachment is to accept it is the nature of the body to get sick and that it is "the body" rather than "me" or "I" that is sick

not identifying with sickness in this way reduces suffering

there are many nuances to non-attachment

however, this does not preclude us from acting to get well

we get well because it is compassionate & life affirming to heal sickness

similarly, we all must earn a living & develop our potential

so to have wise intentions towards a career is fine

the 2nd noble truth teaches "craving" or "ignorant desires" cause suffering

wise & necessary goals & intentions do not cause suffering

kind regards

ThailandTom

Pushing people away is far from compassionate, unless they are causing you serious harm. It is important to not be attached, but to still be compassionate to living beings and to love yourself and everyone around you. Love is often confused with attachment.

Also, you are stuck a little maybe due to the fact you are attaching so much to the noble truth Even attaching 'yourself' to a teaching is negative. If you strive so hard in the words of the great Ajahn Chah, you will not find peace and tranquility

lightlotus

Well I decided to push the people away who were transferring their stress and issues on to me - but in the process of removing attachment I've kind of become emotion less.

The thing is this attachment stuff is hard to follow.

federica

Look at the little wild bird, you picked up off the ground.
He was pushed out of the nest, and might have died.
But you took him in, nourished him, kept him warm and looked to his needs.
Now, he must fly.
So you take him out to the garden, and launching him into the air, you let him go with a glad heart, and a joyous release.

That is Compassion, loving kindness, and detachment.

lightlotus

i think the most beneficial thing i have learnt about myself throughout my studies in buddhism is that im quick to forget and forgive and in the process of this - i've not established boundaries and become so attached to a certain group of people in my life. Now that im aware of my errors im sort of reprogramming myself and building up barriers.

The issue is that im finding it really difficult to keep the negative friends away from me and more importantly its like my attempt maintain detachment from certain people has evolved to almost control.

Yacababy, I guess I know what skill i need to master now. I don't have defined lines that are not crossed by people and its only when there is too much going on that I sit back am thinking hold on stop there. Im starting to think that the art of me implementing non attachment in a social situation is to become a little more recluse.