Family Members

dr_arpie

Hi,

I am not very close to my mother, father, and two sisters. I see them hurting from time to time and I never have anything comforting to say because I'm always outside of the picture doing my own things, practicing, living life, etc. I just want to ask you a few questions on what can i do to make my family members happier. This is less of a question about what are they sad about etc. It is more general how i want to make their life better in some way that isn't preachy but just wholesome. I believe the real answer lies inside of me and is something along the lines of working on myself more, but I'm just throwing out there the following question...

What do you do that has to do with your practice that supports/helps/nourishes your family?

BTW this is largely in part of the recent passing my fathers mother.... It has me aware of death and loss, especially imagining such things as my significant other passing away and leaving me attachment broken.

Thank You

zombiegirl

What do you do that has to do with your practice that supports/helps/nourishes your family?

i'm sorry if this is vague, but everything i do is in an effort to support/help/nourish my family. and if it doesn't, then i apologize. as a result of my practice, i strive to think about myself less and others more. i think when you become more aware of those around you, what they need/what will help them becomes more naturally apparent. you describe yourself as distant, well, maybe you just need to open yourself more to them. there isn't any sort of generic "happiness" solution. just try to listen.

Jason_PDK

Hi,

What do you do that has to do with your practice that supports/helps/nourishes your family?

Compassion. I show compassion to every member of my family. Sometimes them just knowing you are there for them can help them. No one deserves our love more than our family.

I hope this helps.

Jason

sukhita

I can see to the physical needs of my family. I can be kind and considerate. But, beyond this, I can do very little about their mental suffering arising from their own craving, aversion, and ignorance. This is where they have to be their own "protector". Only they can train their minds to protect themselves from their mental defilements. I can point the way, to the extent that I am able to, with the little understanding that I have. But I have not as yet been successful in even getting a little bit their interest to understand dukkha and its cessatation. So, the point is, we can only do so much. The rest is left to them. And this "helplessness" on my part does make me a little sad....

DhammaDhatu

I am not very close to my mother, father, and two sisters.

hi dr arpie

i think a possible starting point may be to try to get closer to your mother, father and two sisters

if we are not close to our family, often the lack of closeness primarly rests in them

but you can still try to get close

i cannot suggest how to begin but your grandmother may be a starting point, such as contacting your parents and just saying to them your grandmother's passing away got you thinking about them and also ask how they are feeling about your grandmother's passing

somehow, try to express to them what you are expressing here, with us, but in a way more adapted to their level of receptivity

i was never very close to my parents but in my later years my relationship improved with both of them

regards

dd