How ‘self-compassion’ trumps ‘self-esteem’

Paradox

I found this an interesting article. It's great that the mainstream are starting to pick up on what buddhists have known for thousands of years.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/04/02/how-self-compassion-trumps-self-esteem/

Glow

Yeah, I like Neff's work a lot. You can find a lot of good stuff on her website: Self-Compassion.Org.

AllbuddhaBound

Yeah, I like Neff's work a lot. You can find a lot of good stuff on her website: Self-Compassion.Org.

I recall you turned me on to Kristin Neff. She is incredible. Thanks for that. Incidentally, her first book Self-Compassion is scheduled to be released April 19. I have pre-ordered it.

fivebells

From a Buddhist perspective, the concept of compassion for one's self is a little strange.

federica

I don't find it so.

"Here, non-harming and compassion flow both from a sensitivity to our own hopes and fears and the ability to place ourselves in the shoes of others. Compassion towards self and compassion towards others are inseparable."

From here.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/harris/bl141.html

Glow

Yeah, I like Neff's work a lot. You can find a lot of good stuff on her website: Self-Compassion.Org.

I recall you turned me on to Kristin Neff. She is incredible. Thanks for that. Incidentally, her first book Self-Compassion is scheduled to be released April 19. I have pre-ordered it.

I've pre-ordered the book, too. Looking forward to reading it.

From a Buddhist perspective, the concept of compassion for one's self is a little strange.

In addition to what federica said, there's direct talk of cultivating compassion/loving-kindness (two sides of the same coin, really) for oneself in the Theravada exegetical texts like the Vissuddhimagga. This is where most present day teachers (Sharon Salzberg, Bhante Vimalarmsi, et al.) get their brahmavihara instructions.

There's also this sutta: "Though in thought we range throughout the world, We'll nowhere find a thing more dear than self. So, since others hold the self so dear, He who loves himself should injure none."

That said, Neff's definition of self-compassion seems to be a little different from the classical Buddhist perspective. Her version of "self-compassion" is more an attitude of understanding and kindness towards one's shortcomings, rather than the wish to see oneself free from suffering.

fivebells

I know the Brahmavihara practices often start with self, but to end there seems strange.

Jeffrey

Trungpa Rinpoche taught compassion to the self and then with that feeling it radiates outward

Glow

I know the Brahmavihara practices often start with self, but to end there seems strange.

Oh. I see. Well, I haven't read her book yet, so I'm not sure if Neff does end with self-compassion, but I've read one by her colleague Christopher Germer and his book goes through the whole progression of the loving-kindness series (self, benefactor, neutral, difficult person, all beings) - not just the self. (The first half of the book deals with how to navigate extending compassion toward oneself, though.) I'm guessing (hoping?) Neff's book (which, from what I've read, will also feature loving-kindness meditation) does the same thing.