A lone elephant

Talisman

If for practice one finds no friend
prudent, well-behaved and wise,
like king be leaving conquered land,
fare as lone elephant in the wilds.

Dhammapada ch.23 v.329


I feel like this lately. None of my friends or family have any interest in my practice and are more often put off when I prefer sobriety and meditation to my previous history of smoking and drinking and gaming every day. Like the Buddha said, I must be a refuge unto myself.

tess

I have no advice but just want to say:

Good luck and take care.

PS Don't forget that elephants have very strong emotions. /almost like humans /

Dakini

elephants actually aren't very solitary animals at all. They're pretty social. Check out my favorite, the Rhinoceros Suttra: www.hermitary.com/solitude/rhinoceros/html

aMatt

Consider that if we look at our sobriety and path of meditation as a moral high ground, then sometimes the distance we see between ourselves and others is our own doing. For instance, it might not be wise to tell off your family for drinking and gaming and smoking from your place "in the wilds" (or from the back of your high horse).

This will makes it easier for us to relate to people, and they will naturally feel comfortable with us. Don't be preachy, just relax and let go. Relating to others usually isn't very difficult, even when we are in a much different place. They might not be ready to relate to the view we have, which is fine. No biggie. So we don't try... we can use our wisdom to relate to their view, rather than try to push our own.

Talisman

@Dakini
The stanza is in reference to a specific elephant, Matanga, that dwells alone in the forest.

Dakini

@Dakini
The stanza is in reference to a specific elephant, Matanga, that dwells alone in the forest.

Thanks, that's interesting.

DhammaDhatu

...fare as lone elephant in the wilds

this is apt advice from the Lord Buddha

the Buddha taught trust/convinction (saddha) in his advice is the first spiritual power

pegembara

"Therefore, Ananda, each of you should remain with your self as an island, your self as your refuge, without anything else as a refuge. Remain with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as your refuge, without anything else as a refuge. And how does a monk remain with his self as an island, his self as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge? How does he remain with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge? There is the case where a monk remains focused on the body in & of itself — ardent, alert, & mindful — putting aside greed & distress with reference to the world. He remains focused on feelings... mind... mental qualities in & of themselves — ardent, alert, & mindful — putting aside greed & distress with reference to the world. This is how a monk remains with his self as an island, his self as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge, with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge. For those who — now or after I am gone — remain with their self as an island, their self as their refuge, without anything else as a refuge, with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as their refuge, without anything else as a refuge, they will be the highest of the monks who desire training."

Cunda Sutta: About Cunda