Heartbreak

Zapalandrox

Hi, im very new to buddhism and i was wondering what the buddhist way is to get through heartbreak?

aMatt

During a heartbreak, the mind and body give rise to many thoughts and feelings. Just notice them, try not to fuel them with lamenting... or reinforcing them by falling into the thoughts and sensations. Thoughts arise, notice, sit, notice, breathe, notice feelings arise, breathe, notice, breathe.

Pain is normal, give it space and it will subside with time.

DhammaDhatu

Hi Z

I am sorry to hear about your heartbreak.

If the heartbreak is in relation to a broken relationship, the Buddha taught an ideal relationship depends on suitable causes & conditions, especially two people sharing mutual goals & mutual qualities.

So if your broken heart is due a broken relationship, please acknowledge you loved that person very much but at the same time try to see the causes & conditions were not suitable for a lasting relationship. Heartbreak shows you were willing to give yourself to another; which is a good quality.

Please do not condemn yourself but try to acknowledge the causes & conditions were not suitable.

Do not deny your love but, at the same time, try to see the bigger picture.

Sometimes things simply do not work out. It takes two people, and not just our good intentions, to make a relationship work.

Kindly

DD

taiyaki

it gets better. put your mind on something else for a while. you will eventually move on.

wish you the best.

Jeffrey

You don't have to become an observer and resist the feelings. Feel them full force but don't spin out into rumination. Contact the energy and the emotion and feel it. Where is it? What is it? Is it always there? What is the thinking that goes along with it? Deeper what is the subverbal thinking? Make your life simpler. Accept what you have and make the best of it.

Zayl

Heartbreak is a devastating thing, hence its name. There is no easy way out of it, no shortcuts, nothing. It is a suffering that must be endured until you have done enough soul searching to finally come to terms with that happened.

Some people spend their entire lives like this, never being able to find closure.

Basically what I am saying is, your own heartbreak is such a deep and personal issue that only you can solve it. Advice from others generally only serves to hinder your progress.

juanorellana

there is no cure for heart break. i my self suffer from it. i have tried everything. letting go of something you care about so much is almost impossible. you have to choose if you want to live with the pain or move on. if you choose to move on, you can do it. after a couple of years hopefully. main thing is to not hide from your pain. if you have unresolved issues you need to talk about it with that person. after you realize were you stand. and that you do want to move on. there will come a time where you will be able to choose to move on or not. i personally can move on. i know i could i just dont want to. i hope you can and want to. choose your next partner wisely.

federica

there is no cure for heart break.

Er...yes, of course there is.... you contradict yourself....

i personally can move on. i know i could i just dont want to.

and there it is, right there.

Moving on, having compassion for yourself, and practising Metta meditation, is the way to move on and cure the heartbreak.
That, and realising that it is a self-generated pain.
But if you choose to keep ripping out the stitches, stabbing your eyes with needles, and passing razor wire up one nostril and down the other, then that's up to you.

Which is what you do when you CHOOSE to remain with the pain and heartbreak, instead of moving on.