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Live in a Christian home, and want to become Budddhist....
I live with extreme Christian parents who would be horrified to know that I want to convert. However, I would like to know if any of you are in/have been in this situation, and how you dealt with it. I want to study Buddhism but I cannot flat out bring home books that say "BUDDHISM" on the front. Are there other resources? Other than the internet?
Your thoughts please
Your thoughts please
0
Comments
In any event, what you have to do is please yourself, not your parents. If they reject you because of your spiritual beliefs, then they have a LOT of growing up to do themselves. Hate to be so blunt, but there it is.
Anyhow, I had hid my interest from buddhism from my parents for a long time, and during that time I had been bringing home buddhist books and such, all the while being extremely careful where I read the books, and where I left them etc. It felt like I had to sneak around in my own house because my family wasn't partial to, like you, anything besides Christianity... but it also felt like I was being dishonest and doing something wrong. It's a bad feeling. I eventually did come out of the buddhist closet to my mom, and eventually my dad too, and I explained it in a manner that they could understand, I told them it was about understanding yourself and being kind. I have found that buddhism is one of the most beautiful things, and while others may not understand that, you can defer the blow of "converting" (which I wouldn't call it such) by attempting to find common ground and to find things that appeal to their sense of logic. For your sake, I wouldn't flat out deny the existence of a god, but if they ask instead you may want to say "I don't know, but really who can prove it for themselves, I am going to act kind and compassionately either way." Or something like that.
Here is a really good buddhist info site: http://buddhanet.net/ and on there you can look up and see if there are any local Sanghas in your area with the "world buddhist directory", and there are also online (ebooks) that you can read for free that you can view from that site.
Best of luck,
Ashley
If they possess some degree of intellect then surely you can reason with them like people above have stated, or simply the fact that religion cannot be forced on someone if they do not believe it to be their truth. Most of the core moral teachings are the same in all religions though - hardly as if your following a demonic cult.
i was in your situation for most of my life. i read a lot of buddhist texts and denied my christian upbringing. now i've come full circle and i totally accept my parents and their beliefs.
but at the end of the day buddhism is attractive because it is practical and intelligent. christianity is devotional based, so it really speaks to simple minded folks. remember jesus spoke to the commoner and he didn't say anything really intelligent. but he spoke from the heart.
in reality it is better to be stupid and to fully commit to the heart than to be an intellectual and try to grasp onto reality. reality cannot be reduced to conceptual knowledge, though many egos try and try.
if you have the time, check out "the cloud of unknowing". it is a book worth checking out.
and you don't need to go to a monastery to be a buddhist.
a true buddhist examines everything in his/her life objectively. existentially find out whether or not what christ or the buddha is saying. are they right? what am i looking for? what do i really want? who am i?
from one question a journey starts. the journey to find out who you really are.
christ and the buddha spoke on the same wavelength. they just spoke to different demographics and thus the interpretation is different.
good luck and be curious!
But in any case, there would be no harm in practicing Buddhist meditation without explicitly renouncing Christianity. This is not necessarily a set of beliefs which you convert to. It's a set of practices which end suffering.
Only you know how they'll take the news and if it's wise to tell them your thoughts on the matter at this time, so I'm not encouraging you or discouraging you from making that move.
I will say though, that you will feel a whole lot better if you're honest with yourself and them about your beliefs.
As for resources - if you have an mp3 player checkout http://audiodharma.org/ Lots of good talks.
Stingraygirl, I wish I had useful advice for you, and I hope you find a way to practice without causing deep conflicts within your family. As for books, a notebook computer or a Kindle might give you means of having e-books on hand, without leaving books with the word Buddhism where your parents can find them. And you can meditate anywhere.
To everyone who might not want others to find out what they read, heres a tip: nothing hides information better than more information. Math ebooks seem especially good at turning away anyone who might stumble into the wrong folder. The same would probably work with physical books (except if you know someone crazy about math, although thats rare, but than simply use physics books^^).
You may have guessed it, i keep my religion to myself (but nobody asks anyway^^).
If you study in a library occasionally you can also read books there.
So that covers a lot, although i haven't come up with the idea how to sneak up into a temple without being noticed yet, if someone knows, please share XD
My situation is similar to yours, with some slight differences. I'll share with you the epiphany I had the other day. Maybe it'll help you.
One day I'm going to have children. I originally planned to raise them Catholic, but then I realized that meant teaching them things I don't believe in. I believe in God, that much I have never questioned. But other things, which I won't go into detail about right now, have never sat right with me. And I refuse to teach these things to my children when I don't believe in them myself.
My mother taught me things she believed to be true and right. I owe my children the same. Now I'm on a personal mission to find out what exactly it is that I believe, so that I can pass it along to my children.
Of course, I don't discuss these things with my mother. It would upset her greatly to know I was even remotely considering another religion. I don't think she would disown me in so many words, but she fears for my immortal soul. I respect that, and I don't want to do anything to make her upset. I love my mother, and I've put her through enough anguish already in other matters.
Like I said, I'm still figuring out what I believe and what I don't. But I'll share this with you: If God made everything, then it stands to reason that he also made the Buddha, correct? I don't think he would have put the Buddha on this earth if he didn't intend for us to hear what he has to say.
I wish you the best of luck in your spiritual journey.
Also, as Mugzy says - you don't "convert" to Buddhism. There's nothing to convert to. You don't have to get dunked or drizzled or otherwise immersed to be a Buddhist. There's no dogma to which you have to adhere, and no rites or rituals you have to participate in.
With all due respect, I don't think stingraygirl's parents will examine anything at all and they will go to great lengths to stop her studies if they feel it's serious. Religious minded people just don't think the same way as other, less religious people. They really, honestly and seriously believe, that their beloved daughter is sending herself to hell.. Anyone would try to save their children from such a fate..
I had a "clash" like this when I was a teenager, and I wasn't even brought up in a Christian home. God and Jesus was never mentioned. I was taught to pray at night before bed if I wanted, and we went to church when there was ceremonies in the family. In my country only 80% of the citizens are members of a church and less than 30% are actively religious. Nevertheless I got quite in a fight when my teenage occult studies were discovered. Nothing intelligent that I could say would sink in, and they never read anything for themselves to learn anything. At one time my mom said - long after the incident - "why can't you just be an atheist?", and I was like "but I am!" She never quite got it, that my interests weren't part of joining a dangerous cult... (I think anyone here will testify that I'm quite the rationalist
@stingraygirl93
Like has been mentioned, you can always meditate and read on the internet - and it's free! You will be good on your way down the Path just from doing that.. No one has to know..
Also, like mentioned, you do not "convert" - so no ceremonies and no bonds required
What's converting to Buddhism anyway? You'd probably be feeding their fears with such language.
Unfortunately others are probably right. It's hard to reason or get across a view point to indoctrinated people. You'll just be believed to be twisting passages and text.
For now you could just find stuff Jesus says that parallels(there are quite a few similarities) Buddhist text you're reading and practicing, and start wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" wrist band
1. Respect your parents and their beliefs. Be compassionate for them and grateful to them.
2. Don't be "anti-Christian", and certainly don't let your interest in Buddhism spring from that motivation.
3. Don't worry about "converting", focus on the practice instead. If you're preoccupied with "converting", then you are acting from the wrong motivations, imo.
4. Avoid confrontations with your parents over this issue, even if it means practicing in secrecy. Don't use Buddhism as a weapon to hurt them.
5. Use the internet, there are GREAT resources there, including entire books. Here's a great start:
http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html
There are also great podcasts, a great start:
http://www.audiodharma.org/
(which can also be found on iTunes)
I grew up in a very small town in Iowa with extremely conservative parents who while not religious, would have flipped at something as radical (to a small town mentality) as Buddhism. Even then I was interested and I often wonder what kind of person I would be today if I had been encouraged to follow my beliefs. Not all parents are Ward and June Cleaver...