Sense of relief

CosmicGypsy

So I just got off the phone with my Dad, he rang up with an alarming tone and braced me for bad news. My Grandma has been ill for some time and my Uncle looks after and cares for her, immediately my heart sinks and I'm expecting the worse. Turns out my Grandma is fine, but my Uncles been rushed to hospital because his feet and legs swelled up and 'popped' for lack of a better word(he used to be an alcoholic or it could be he still is), something to do with his liver. This could be very serious.

The problem is I found myself relieved bordering on happy, and still am, that my Grandma is okay. At the expense of my Uncle, who Is one of my other favorite relatives. Would this be considered normal, given the circumstances? I feel like I should feel guilty for feeling this way, given my Uncles fallen ill. Rather selfish emotions to have, especially considering my Uncle being ill will cause my Grandma a great deal of suffering and could well see her in a home.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Half the thread is probably me wanting to get the day off my chest, given I live far away from my family and can't really speak about it with anyone else.

I'll post in banter just to be on the safe side.

aMatt

CG,

I would consider your elation to be normal. That it interferes with your sense of concern for your uncle might be due to the fear and dread that you felt when your father called. Said differently, the dread-elation cycle is emotionally potent for you here and now, and as it settles, perhaps you'll feel empathic concern for your uncle again. Don't let it also initiate guilt... I'm sure you love your uncle very much.

I'll keep your family in my thoughts and give them good wishes.

With warmth,

Matt

vinlyn

CG, I don't think you be concerned with your feelings. You are closest to your grandmother, so it's natural that your greatest concern is for her. I assume you still have compassion for your uncle.

CosmicGypsy

Thanks for the replies guys. I rationalised it before hand but still feel a bit guilty I guess.

On the bright-side I run my own business online and can stay at my Grandmas for a while until my Uncle is better or my other family members can sort something out. Otherwise my Dad and my other Uncle would have to quit their long term jobs to "fill in", as it were.

I'll also get a good while away from the internet and doing anything I want on demand(No Music, TV, going out etc), which should be good for me, from a personal stand point.

Cheers again and take care, will probably be away for a good week. Any recommended reading while on the road?

aMatt

Turning the Mind Into an Ally by Sakyong Mipham might connect. Have a good journey.