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Tactfulness

ajani_mgoajani_mgo Veteran
edited January 2006 in General Banter
I have a problem. A serious problem.
I need solutions. Need solutions.

I suck in conducting day-to-day relations with people - friends to strangers alike. Don't try to refute me! I know that I do have the problem. No one is as unsensitive, unskilled, untactful and as weird as me.

Tactfulness is something genetic isn't yet? I don't care. Don't care. I must change it. Change it. How do you become more sensitive? Other than trying a thinner condom. How? How do I change myself to become more sociable and more tactful? My tactlessness has caused me severe strains with many people. Many people. Don't try telling me to look at it from another view. Another view. I'm dead if you don't give me some advice on how to change. Dead.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

  • ajani_mgoajani_mgo Veteran
    edited January 2006
    By the way I'm reducing my number of real-world interactions to the bare minimum until I get some help for it, lest I destroy somebody's day, as well as my own relationships.
  • zenmonk_genryuzenmonk_genryu
    edited January 2006
    Have you considered Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and do you meditate?
  • ajani_mgoajani_mgo Veteran
    edited January 2006
    No time and money. Time and money. Yes. Yes.
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited January 2006
    I think being "mindful" is going to make a big difference.

    Why are there these moments of verbal outbursts or reactions that you only realize the effect "after" you've said or done something?

    Is it because you are trying to impress someone? And just don't know what to do or how to act?

    I think back to my days in high school - oh boy! High school is like no other time you will experience in your life.
    Kids having 20 gallons of hormones dumped into their systems on a daily basis and then trying to learn how to cope with it. The primping. The posturing. The changes. The new fascinations.

    Maybe some (as zenmonk said) mediatiaon.

    Or self-flaggelation.

    -bf
  • harlanharlan
    edited January 2006
    You are 15...right? :)

    Give it time and practice. I'm 45...and while not 'tactless' I still manage to unwittingly take people aback with my 'directness.' ;)
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited January 2006
    Wow! 45!

    You must be really, really wise!

    -bf
  • zenmonk_genryuzenmonk_genryu
    edited January 2006
    Ajani, if you're 15 it's pretty normal to be awkward in social situations. It's part of finding out who you are. Perhaps it doesn't help to say that but it really is normal. If you were my age and had that problem - then meditation, therapy and maybe a good teacher with a stick.:)
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited January 2006
    :scratch: MMMM no answers here....

    lack of tact is my middle name..

    Xray lack-of-tact man

    :o
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited January 2006
    Ajani,
    Give us some examples of your interactions; with whom, what did you say, what did they say, what did you do, what did they do, how did you feel etc. Are you having trouble figuring out how people are feeling from their facial expressions and body language? Has there been a particular interaction that has led to this post? Or is it all falling down around you in confusion?
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