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Haiku.....

federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
edited July 2010 in General Banter
Blossoms white as snow.....
Trees decked in their festive best -
Spring has come again!

5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables.


Thus have I heard.....

1st line must relate to the last and render the middle line as a welcome but superfluous addition.... in other words, the two lines would stand on their own merit.


But then, it would not be Haiku....

Do you.....

.....Haiku?

Comments

  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited January 2006
    Fede,

    I want to play!

    You didn't fool me...
    What luck, shovel was half off -
    No one will find you!

    Did I do it right?

    :)

    Jason
  • zenmonk_genryuzenmonk_genryu
    edited January 2006
    On the snowy path,
    man and fox meet, breathing smoke,
    cold noses twitching.
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited January 2006
    Nice clean rubber boots,
    Hydrogen and oxygen,
    Wet socks are no fun.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 2006
    Words that need not rhyme
    Simply sit in pregnant prose.....
    Haiku is such fun - !!
    :)
  • harlanharlan
    edited January 2006
    Butterfly alights-
    rarest karateka
    set free, takes flight.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 2006
    I'm sorry, I'm simply not prepared to accept that one, it clearly contravenes the 5-7-5 regulation.... (*sniffs snootily...*)

    It is beautiful though..... ;)






    (J/K harlan...... :) )
  • harlanharlan
    edited January 2006
    Actually, I don't think the rule is set in stone. There are different types of Haiku...I'll ask my mom for some references. (She writes poetry, and belongs to some local Haiku society).


    How about some Basho:

    The temple bell stops
    but the sound keeps coming
    out of the flowers.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 2006
    I'm sure the rules are not, as you say, set in stone... This was just something I read from the preface of a book on Haiku many moons ago, but given that the orignal language is Japanese, and there's a world of difference between the two languages and the methods of expression, rules cannot possibly apply so stringently....!

    I have not heard of 'basho' before...
    Could you tell me something about it?

    Thank you!

    basho - something new..
    words that conjure up a dream....
    consonants and vowels....
  • harlanharlan
    edited January 2006
    Just a few links to help out:

    http://www.gardendigest.com/poetry/haiku6.htm
    http://www.haikupoetshut.com/basatchel.html
  • zenmonk_genryuzenmonk_genryu
    edited January 2006
    The old pond,
    A frog jumps in:
    Plop!

    - Basho (translated by Alan Watts)

    Possibly his most famous Haiku and in English it doesn't have the required number of syllables. In Japanese though:

    Furu ike ya
    kawazu tobikomu
    mizu no oto
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited January 2006
    I do love Pad Thai.
    What makes Pi's so sweet pray tell?
    Make it medium spicy!
  • _BeautifulSpringtime_BeautifulSpringtime Veteran
    edited January 2006
    Thought I'd write one in Japanese:

    Nihon no yuki
    ja, daisuki desu ne?
    sugoi inochi

    I apologise for my poor Japanese because I've only started learning but it translates as:

    The snow of Japan
    well, it's love isn't it?
    A great life
  • SabineSabine Veteran
    edited January 2006
    Wrote this about the terribly spoiled neighborhood cat:

    A plump, orange cat
    Purring at the doorstep of
    A house that's not his

    Thank you, thank you :wavey:
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited January 2006
    okay tell me...what is the general outline of "Proper" Haiku, how many syllables per line?

    There is no one who can give me a reasonable answer-I'Ve looked every where-I' think it's kind of "fudge it as you go" Please investigate, and report back to me by the morning, thankyou students....

    sorry for the S*** stirring.
  • zenmonk_genryuzenmonk_genryu
    edited January 2006
    My understanding is that you can either do it the 5, 7, 5 way if you want to use that as a framework, or you can do it more freeform. Then the discipline is more to condense a poem into three short lines, with no mention of self (if possible) and often something that refers to a season too.
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited January 2006
    Yes That was my thought Zen, I learned this in school, but it seems that every time I see some it rarely conforms to that syllabyllic standard. Three lines-yes, but not the syllables..

    (This is really embarrassing, but I'm a Writer-and I don't know the Haiku thing *Blush*)
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited January 2006
    okay apart from those above-okay!?
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited January 2006
    Thanks for actively viewing this as I'm typing Zen, it's a little unsettling though..
  • zenmonk_genryuzenmonk_genryu
    edited January 2006
    If it helps, I've had one or two Haiku published in magazines, have written freelance for some time and I'm still not sure myself. Perhaps Federica or someone equally wise (had to choose my words carefully there) can put us straight on this? And I didn't mean to unsettle you but it it's good that I have. :uphand:
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited January 2006
    cool. ok maybe I'll start another thread...

    How writers are unsettled.
  • zenmonk_genryuzenmonk_genryu
    edited January 2006
    Now that's a damn good idea.
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited January 2006
    :winkc:
    Okay, Hows this?

    languid cucumber
    beetle consuming jade flesh
    summer's rotten joke

    too awful?:tonguec:
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 2006
    No, very good, actually....
  • FrizzerFrizzer
    edited January 2006
    On my desk at work I've got a 2006 Japanese artwork and Haiku calendar.

    Here's the entry for this month :

    ichigayo no
    kari ya hayama ni
    tsuki wo insu
    - Buson (1716-1783)

    on the mountain crests
    a line of wild geese
    and the moon's seal
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 2006
    Send me calendar
    - if you can get hold of one...
    I would gladly pay...!



    :D
  • FrizzerFrizzer
    edited January 2006
    Do you have a "Borders" bookshop over in France? That's where I got it from.

    You may be able to get them on-line as well. It's by a company called Pomegranate and it's the "The British Museum Haiku Japanese Art and Poetry" calendar.

    If not I could get you one next time I'm passing and post it across to you. It cost about a tenner but they may be a bit cheaper now as the year's already well under way!
  • harlanharlan
    edited January 2006
    Funny! I did wall calendars as gifts this year, and kept one for myself. I just checked...it is from Pomegranate as well. "Asian Scrolls and Artwork"...but sadly...no Haiku.

    Definitely nice calendars.
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited January 2006
    to Federica,

    You may stop humouring me now.

    French Federica
    twisted logic humourist
    internet buddhist
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 2006
    FRIZZER:
    ... I'll look it up... But as I'm UK bound later this year, why don't you go ahead and buy one for me anyway? I WILL pay you, I promise, and it will give us a chance to meet up....!!


    XRAYMAN:

    Sitting at my desk
    Efforts to make all feel good....
    Fingers tap for you
  • FrizzerFrizzer
    edited January 2006
    federica wrote:
    FRIZZER:
    ... I'll look it up... But as I'm UK bound later this year, why don't you go ahead and buy one for me anyway? I WILL pay you, I promise, and it will give us a chance to meet up....!!


    Will do! :thumbsup:
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited January 2006
    Night thoughts

    Dark at three thirty
    Two cats sleep under warm quilt
    Birds sing at false dawn
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited January 2006
    Dhamma

    The Path is well taught,
    By the Blessed One's teachings,
    Nibbana is known!

    Avoid all evil,
    Following the Buddha's lead,
    Cultivate the good.

    With self-mastery,
    A tamed mind brings happiness,
    Wisdom arises:

    The five are zero,
    To view the world as empty,
    How can "I" be found?

    The Goal is right here,
    Conquering the King of Death,
    The Path is well taught!

    :)

    Jason
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited January 2006
    WOW! Jason. That was GOOD!
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited January 2006
    Brigid,

    Thank you.

    :)

    Jason
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 2006
    Brigid, he's not only verbally articulate... have you seen his photo in the members' photos thread (My sangha)? Somewhere near the beginning... he's a good lookin' guy as well!
    Brawns, brains and biceps!!
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited January 2006
    Yes, I saw his photo. I'd say he's a very good looking man but I don't want to make him struggle with his ego. ;)
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited January 2006
    Fede,

    Shush your mouth!

    You're making me blush...

    :D


    Brigid,

    God knows I have enough conceit.

    Thank you for your kind consideration.

    ;)

    Jason
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 2006
    Sorry Jason... 5 - 7 - 5...
    Try again...! :lol:


    Picture of a guy
    Strong and Silent type he seems...
    This too then shall pass.... ;)
  • KnightofBuddhaKnightofBuddha
    edited January 2006
    Marx Brothers; my Gods

    Groucho, Chico, Harpo hey!

    Ducksoup makes my day!
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited January 2006
    Watery garden,
    On the foggiest morning,
    Franklin, Tennessee.

    This is from a Webshots photo I just downloaded.
  • zenmonk_genryuzenmonk_genryu
    edited January 2006
    :)
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited March 2009
    Poetry abounds
    It's time to revive this thread
    Matching Simon's words......

    ;)
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited March 2009
    Birdsong once again.
    Oh, what joy to have them back!
    Cold winter is gone.


    Not very good but I'll keep trying...
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited March 2009
    Au contraire, ma puce, c'est tres jolie!

    I suffer from continuous imitative tinnitus.

    That is to say, I have tinnitus that closely resembles Regent's Park Zoo wild songbirds aviary at five o'clock in the morning.

    All I hear, 100% of the time, is a perpetual cacophony of songbirds, all vocally fighting for top branch.
    There's always one, higher, louder, insistent and more strident bird, that sings above the others.

    It never ceases. And if I try to use "white noise" to neutralise it - it actually 'competes' and gets louder.
    Occasionally, if I have to resort to using my digital alarm clock, (I already wake early "automatically") if I'm not fast enough to turn it off, I hear that all day, too.....hence the 'imitative'.

    So, when I actually manage to hear a real, live songbird, really live-singing - it's a pleasure.
    It's not in my head.
    That tiny lightweight fragile little creature, really is belting it out for all it's worth.....

    If one were to be gifted with a voice of equal ratio (that is, proportionately as loud as that of a songbird,) we could be heard singing 10 miles away.

    Ain't nature astounding?

    (Could I just point out to the uninitiated - that wasn't a haiku. Thank you. ) :D
  • PemaRangdolPemaRangdol
    edited June 2010
    Namaste, All! /\
    Glad I did a search before starting another haiku thread. As to the 5-7-5 rules, Lee Gurga in his book "Haiku: A Poet's Guide" says Japanese "syllables" are more sounds like our phonemes, actually shorter than syllables. So less than 5-7-5 is OK. In Japanese haiku, less is more is the maxim.

    Additionally, scholar D.T. Suzuki said that a haiku "does not express ideas but put forward images reflecting intuitions."

    Gurga continues: "The essence of haiku resides, in part, in its ability, through the use of a seasonal image, to convey some sense of the nnatural world and the passage of time. Haiku's seasonal awareness allows us to gain perspective on our lives in a way that will increase appreciation both for significant moments in our lives and our relation to the world around us."

    Some haiku isn't pure in the sense the writer cracks a joke , makes a pun, or is focused more on human nature. These are fun to write, but they are technically called senryu or zappai. Since this isn't a haiku poetry journal I reckon it doesn't matter.

    Some writers of haiku suggest to become a decent haiku poet, learn about the process of writing a haiku by reading the greats: Basho, Buson, Issa, Shiki, and Chiyo-ni (b.1703-1775d.), a Japanese woman who became a nun so she could write and correspond with monk haiku poets back in the 18th century. Also, learn about the five principal elements: form; the kigo or season words; a particular event in the present tense, i.e., "the haiku moment"; the "cut" or caesura; and internal comparision.

    here's a lame one...

    dawn at lakeside cove
    man and dog surprised
    ground hog's morning walk
  • violistviolist
    edited July 2010
    I've done haiku rather extensively before, studied and wrote a lot, etc. I don't think of myself as a scholar or anything, but from my own experience the 5-7-5 is too much for me to work with. I usually pare it down to something like 4-5-4 or 3-5-3, or a bit more freeform if I must. I've not written anything for a good while now, but I'll post it here when I get something onto paper. :)
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