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Views on Gay people and Buddhism?

AsshatAsshat
edited June 2011 in Buddhism Basics
So I am a gay man, 21, from the UK. I live with my partner and pug dog :). I was wondering on what do Buddhists believe about gay people? Is it okay to be gay in Buddhism? I am learning about Buddhism, it sounds to me that it is okay to be gay, to love someone the same sex as you. But I am not sure so that's why I am here :), I don't want to be part of Buddhism if it does not accept me for who I am and who I love. Thanks for the help! Peace :D

Comments

  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    If it's not okay to be gay and Buddhist, then Thailand is in big trouble! :D
  • ScelerataScelerata
    I'm in the same boat, albeit female and lesbian. I'd be curious as to know the common opinion of practicing Buddhists on homosexuality as well.
  • ScelerataScelerata
    If it's not okay to be gay and Buddhist, then Thailand is in big trouble! :D
    Does Thailand have a large gay population? I had no idea. o:
  • SherabDorjeSherabDorje
    I think you will find the acceptance you seek both here and in the modern Buddhist community at large. Some older, traditional Buddhists apparently have a little trouble with homosexual practices as "unnatural" (the Dalai Lama being one), but I think, in my opinion, that's more cultural than Buddhist on his part. And he has softened his stance since he made the original statements and leans toward tolerance and acceptance.

    I just have never really heard of it being a problem at all, other than what I've mentioned above.
  • ThaoThao Veteran
    I am not a lesbian, but if it were a problem in Buddhism I would not be a Buddhist. I believe in equal rights for all people. The Buddha only said that we should not harm others, which includes sexually. The Dalai Lama has his own views on this, but he is a Tibetan Buddhist, but not all lamas are against gays.
    That is another subject.

    If you go to a sangha and ask them and they say it is not right, go to another sangha. Different groups may have different views.


  • ThaoThao Veteran
    Here is an article that may help:

    http://www.religionfacts.com/homosexuality/buddhism.htm

  • MountainsMountains Veteran
    Pretty much as long as sex is consensual between two people and no one is hurt, I don't think the vast majority of Buddhists care. There is no Buddhist "ten commandments" with "thou shalt nots" in it. Buddhism is about what you should do, not what you shouldn't do. I think you'll find great acceptance among Buddhists regardless of your sexual orientation.
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    If it's not okay to be gay and Buddhist, then Thailand is in big trouble! :D
    Does Thailand have a large gay population? I had no idea. o:
    Remarkably common there.

  • LincLinc Site owner Detroit Moderator
    @Thao's comment sums it up nicely, I think.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited June 2011
    So I am a gay man, 21, from the UK. I live with my partner and pug dog :).
    As a UK-based dog behaviourist, this caught my attention more than the fact you're gay. :D


    In a nutshell?
    You're as welcome as anybody is here. :) Very welcome.
    (And if anybody sez different, [though it's about as likely as a rocking horse poohing,] just let a Mod know. ;) )

  • GuyCGuyC Veteran
    edited June 2011
    Hi Murasaki,

    If you are a monk or a nun, then you aren't allowed to have sex with anyone.

    If you are a lay Buddhist, then you can have sex with anyone, so long as it is between two consensual adults who are not in a relationship with anyone else.

    Metta,

    Guy
  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    @GuyC some traditions allow for monks to get married and engage in sexual intercourse.

    well i suppose it is more likely here in the west that this is allowed.

    just fyi!
  • Still_WatersStill_Waters
    Here is an article that may help:

    http://www.religionfacts.com/homosexuality/buddhism.htm

    Here is another article from wikipedia on this topic:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_and_Buddhism

    The few groups I've practiced with have been very accepting of homosexuality. I'm guessing that any sort of officially sanctioned LGBT intolerance would be the exception rather than the rule.

    Alan
  • SabreSabre Veteran
    Some religions blew up something minor like sexual preference to be of major importance, wrong, condemned by God.. that's sad. Unlike what those religions say, obviously there is nothing ethically 'wrong' about being gay. It's just how you are, what your preference is. All people are different and have different kind of preferences on all kinds of things. In Buddhism the preference of loving someone of the same gender is not a sin or whatever, it's perfectly acceptable.

    As said, you might see some very traditional sects of Buddhism that don't think it is ok, but as far as I know the Buddha himself didn't have anything bad to say about it. And most sects will also behave according to that.

    With metta,
    Sabre
  • budding_flowerbudding_flower
    Well I am gay too and was trying to avoid the subject but someone had the courage to bring this subject up. What I came to understand in my spiritual journey that many anti-gay/lesbian etc. oppinions come from str8 people (of course), and what I am trying to say is this, if you haven't walked on the shoes of another you can make many speculations about how his life should be so I have stopped talking about my sexuality in terms of relegion a long time ago... :)
  • andyrobynandyrobyn Veteran
    edited June 2011
    Any other individual feeling the need, and then even more stringently allowing themselves to hang on to this perceived need and then viewing and subsequently acting as judge of any or all aspects of another individual's activities and actions is missing the point entirely, as I see it. Essentially it is wasted time and energy, in the big picture - however, fortunately this is not your or my responsibility - none of our business.
  • CinorjerCinorjer Veteran
    So I am a gay man, 21, from the UK. I live with my partner and pug dog :). I was wondering on what do Buddhists believe about gay people? Is it okay to be gay in Buddhism? I am learning about Buddhism, it sounds to me that it is okay to be gay, to love someone the same sex as you. But I am not sure so that's why I am here :), I don't want to be part of Buddhism if it does not accept me for who I am and who I love. Thanks for the help! Peace :D
    Being gay is no problem in Buddhism, as the above posters say. Being just people, a few monks have been quoted making less than enlightenend statements about gays due to cultural attitudes, but those are rare.

    Now that pug, on the other hand...you do realize they're involved in an international conspiracy to take over the world from cats with their irresistible cuteness?
    :)
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    I think a Buddhist ought to view gay partnerships as two people of the same sex in a relationship. Anything in addition to that is mental and social baggage and is to be abandoned.
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    Hi Murasaki,

    If you are a monk or a nun, then you aren't allowed to have sex with anyone.

    If you are a lay Buddhist, then you can have sex with anyone, so long as it is between two consensual adults who are not in a relationship with anyone else.

    Metta,

    Guy
    In Thailand I know of a married man whose wife could not have children. At least for the first 15 years of their marriage (and according to the doctors). But finally they did have a daughter, and to express his thanks to Buddha, though married, he became a monk for 3 months.

  • LincLinc Site owner Detroit Moderator
    As an aside, this is an explicitly gay-friendly website. I appreciate the positive comments especially.
  • AsshatAsshat
    Thank you everyone for helping and explaining. All of your posts have really cleared my mind. :) This is a wonderful community! I can't help but fill that if everyone was Buddhist or had Buddhist views, then world peace would be likely. Thank you all again! I am grateful for the support! :D
  • YishaiYishai Veteran
    I think anti-gay is as bad as racism, sexism, anti-semitism, anti-muslim, anti-christian... You get the point. I don't think you will find a buddhist on this site who denies someone of his or her humanity.
  • zenffzenff Veteran
    edited June 2011
    Buddhists don’t have problems with homosexuality.
    They have problems with sexuality.

    At least some of them think sexual desires are a hindrance on their spiritual path.
    This is a different topic of course.

  • ThaoThao Veteran
    @Thao's comment sums it up nicely, I think.
    Why, thank you Lincoln.

  • ThaoThao Veteran
    Thank you everyone for helping and explaining. All of your posts have really cleared my mind. :) This is a wonderful community! I can't help but fill that if everyone was Buddhist or had Buddhist views, then world peace would be likely. Thank you all again! I am grateful for the support! :D
    We get riled at times, but most of that is under General Banter, but we try to get along. Some of us just are not too happy with the Tantric tradition in Tibetan Buddhism.

    I rather like Zen, but then I also like Theravada, but they won't allow women to be Master, as I understand it. And hey, Zen has poetry, even Haiku, and nice paintings all that I like. I hope you stay awhile or even a long time.


  • tammtamm
    I'm also so glad to see so much support here! (Pre-Buddhism) I came from and live around a religion that is outright disparaging to gay people. One of the reasons I am strongly opposed to religions that fight the rights of people is because I think it is wrong view. How can I let someone else's choices canker my emotions and prevent me from having compassion for other people? I hope you and your partner (and your pug!) have lots of great times together!
  • thickpaperthickpaper Veteran
    Of course being gay is a non-issue for Buddhism.

    I guess my only comment to add to the wise and predictable words above is, that as you learn more about Dharma you will be able to use it to light up the answers to your questions all on own - which is a lovely state to be in.

    namaste






  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    It doesn't matter if you are gay. What matters is that you wish for happyness. If you are wishing for happiness and having difficulty then consider buddhism. Test it for yourself. The buddhist community in most places is very open minded. At least in the west buddhists themselves are outcasts from the society so they know how that feels to be 'different' from the mainstream. Empathy.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    Thao, Cheri Huber is a zen woman who is a teacher.
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    It doesn't matter if you are gay. What matters is that you wish for happyness. If you are wishing for happiness and having difficulty then consider buddhism. Test it for yourself. The buddhist community in most places is very open minded. At least in the west buddhists themselves are outcasts from the society so they know how that feels to be 'different' from the mainstream. Empathy.
    I think saying that we're "outcasts from society" is hyperbole.

  • MountainsMountains Veteran
    I think saying that we're "outcasts from society" is hyperbole
    In some parts of the US, it's not hyperbole at all. You might not be actively persecuted, but lots of "Christians" in the bible belt would tell you to your face that you're a heathen and are condemned to eternal hell for being a Buddhist (even if they have no clue what that actually means). I've had it happen. I'm very much part of my society, but I don't broadcast that I'm Buddhist either.
  • jlljll Veteran
    While I have never heard about Buddhism having anything against homosexuality. I believe there was a thread in this forum about Dalai Lama's anti-gay position. But, I have also noted that a famous nun in the Tibetan Buddhism, Robina Courtin was openly gay and quite a formidable feminist (before she became a nun).
  • jlljll Veteran
    The intolerance towards gays are very real. Although most societies would prefer to sweep it under the carpet. Not only in the US, but in many other societies, it still quite common for gay men to pretend to be straight , get married & have children in order to avoid being persecuted or ostracised.
    I think saying that we're "outcasts from society" is hyperbole
    In some parts of the US, it's not hyperbole at all. You might not be actively persecuted, but lots of "Christians" in the bible belt would tell you to your face that you're a heathen and are condemned to eternal hell for being a Buddhist (even if they have no clue what that actually means). I've had it happen. I'm very much part of my society, but I don't broadcast that I'm Buddhist either.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited June 2011
    vinylyn, 'outcasts' is hyperbole and rhetoric :D Thank Buddha that they can't ask about religion at a job interview, whew.
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    vinylyn, 'outcasts' is hyperbole and rhetoric :D Thank Buddha that they can't ask about religion at a job interview, whew.
    You know, when I was a school administrator and hiring teachers, I was always alert if the candidate brought up religion.

  • chanrattchanratt Veteran
    as long as you're not doing anyone any harm, Buddhism, the 'religious' side of it anyway, says its ok to do whatever you want. If it said otherwise, I'd run like hell away from it. Remember Buddhism is just a path. It doesn't tell anyone what to do like all the other religions most of us grew up with
  • ThailandTomThailandTom Veteran
    I think you have a good understanding now, it is one of the few religions which does allow same sex relationships which is a great thing. As long as you are not conforming to sexual misconduct and try to not become attached, then it is fine.

    Thailand has a lot of lady boy's, or ''katooie''. It is just very socially accepted here to the point where many Thai tv shows have lady boys presenting them. Then again, the vast majority of thai buddhists do not take the religion seriously and see it as a luck based thing. If they go and offer something at the temple twice a year, they will have good luck etc.
  • Weird_ArtistWeird_Artist Explorer
    I'm Bisexual, which makes things tricky, everyone assumes I will sleep with anybody with a pulse and have loose morals, the gay&lesbian societies say I'm not really part of them as I don't know how it feels, I can still marry a man and be 'straight' and the straight community says I'm "greedy". (point: I have been with a man for nearly 8yrs, we are exclusive and very happy.)

    To me gender is irrelevant unless you are trying to conceive a baby (in which case there are ways and means). I guess Buddhism recognises differences between genders, but that all people are equal. I have never met another Buddhist (knowingly) but I know that when I talk to people (here, on social networking sites, via websites they have built) They are very friendly, and I have never been accepted in quite the same way anywhere else.
  • TalismanTalisman Veteran
    I'm Bi and Buddhist. :)
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