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Dealing with partner's anger.
Hi guys,
My partner (like most of us) is prone to the odd angry outburst but I am finding it increasingly difficult not to tell him to shut up and stop shouting! I don't feel jumping around and screaming at the tv will solve anything and therefore find it really difficult to listen to. He swears a lot and it really gets me down. He does this over things like injustices in the world - we live in Spain and there are currently a lot of political protests and things like that and I understand that these are big issues (he's not like this when he can't find his left shoe or something!!) but this RAGE that I see is very difficult for me. I am working hard at controlling my own anger (I would be a bit of a shouter!) and am wondering if it is seeing something in him that I recognise in myself which makes it more difficult for me to put up with. Basically I am wondering what I can do to help him feel better or to at least stop letting his outbursts (none of which are directed at me or anything) easier to deal with. I can feel myelf getting angry with him when he's angry but I can control it and generally walk away and do 3 deep breaths then come back. He doesn't even do it to get my attention, I'm fairly sure he'd do it if he was alone.
Ok, hope that all makes sense! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
x
My partner (like most of us) is prone to the odd angry outburst but I am finding it increasingly difficult not to tell him to shut up and stop shouting! I don't feel jumping around and screaming at the tv will solve anything and therefore find it really difficult to listen to. He swears a lot and it really gets me down. He does this over things like injustices in the world - we live in Spain and there are currently a lot of political protests and things like that and I understand that these are big issues (he's not like this when he can't find his left shoe or something!!) but this RAGE that I see is very difficult for me. I am working hard at controlling my own anger (I would be a bit of a shouter!) and am wondering if it is seeing something in him that I recognise in myself which makes it more difficult for me to put up with. Basically I am wondering what I can do to help him feel better or to at least stop letting his outbursts (none of which are directed at me or anything) easier to deal with. I can feel myelf getting angry with him when he's angry but I can control it and generally walk away and do 3 deep breaths then come back. He doesn't even do it to get my attention, I'm fairly sure he'd do it if he was alone.
Ok, hope that all makes sense! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
x
0
Comments
In order to train in patience it is wise to train in mindfulness meditation this can be done by just sitting and trying to focus your mind on a object ( usually the breathe for beginners) and practise alertness everytime you recognise the mind wandering from its object you practise bringing it back, like having a dog on a chock chain so that everytime the mind gets out of control you can firmly bring it back to a relative calm state. Becoming familiar with such we apply the techinque to daily life so that when situations where we could become disturbed arise we watch the mind and make a determination to practise patience, so when we recognise the mind coming close to anger by it becoming aggitated and so on we mentally resolve to accept the situation and remain focused on keeping our peace of mind.
The only way to help others is by demonstrating that you are capable of doing it yourself after all patience is a happy mind because when it is fully developed nothing can ever disturb our mental peace and happiness.
It could save your marriage.
If it is a behavior he can tame, it would be better for him. If he has no interest, perhaps get some ear plugs or move on.
http://www.youtube.com/user/BuddhistSocietyWA#p/u/63/OswcrsyGQN0