What do you expect from your wife or husband?

footiam

Do you suppose that Buddha could have listed some characteristics of what a wife or husband ought to be?

compassionate_warrior

The Buddha did. It was posted here in a discussion last winter. The husband is supposed to provide for the wife, and the wife returns her love. There's more to it. Have you looked up the sutras in accesstoinsight.org?

Vincenzi

in my case... it will be nice if she meditates; non-meditators are too whimsical (in general).

Jeffrey

I expect ocassional footrubs and sharing of coffee making duties. And no children, please no children, we can rent them if we want.

Vincenzi

@Jeffrey

rent them? you mean adopting or working in child care?

Jeffrey

joke. I don't want kids.

footiam

Thanks compassionate_warrior for the link,
Didn't know that there was a post about it last winter. Come to think about it, that's several thousand years after Buddha first talk about it, isn't it?

Dear Jeffrey,
Ha! Ha! She would want to have a rub on the feet too! And you can rent me!

Cinorjer

Do you suppose that Buddha could have listed some characteristics of what a wife or husband ought to be?

Oh, my. It doesn't matter what Buddha wanted in a wife. There is a sutra that spells out the different "types" of wife, but anyone married will tell you, it's nonsense. There's no "type" of wife, or person, for that matter. We assume all sorts of different roles in life, depending on and responding to all sorts of things.

So, what do I expect from my wife? It doesn't matter. What's important is being the kind of husband she expects me to be. All I require from her is that she appreciates my effort to be a good husband, and she does.

All the rest is nonsense.

Jeffrey

She who must be obeyed.

Cinorjer

She who must be obeyed.

Lotta truth in that.

Look, I like you folks here, so I'll lay some wisdom on you. Been married for over twenty years now, and while it wasn't my first marriage, it WILL be my last (according to my wife, at least).

So I get asked sometimes what the secret is to a good marriage. And, I pass on the wisdom that I swear to God my Grandpa told me.

"The recipe for a good marriage is like the recipe for bear stew. First you gotta track down, shoot and skin a bear. The rest is just stew. So a good marriage starts with finding the right woman. The rest is just puttin' up with each other."

Jeffrey

LOL

SherabDorje

I expect mine to email me and copy it to all my family members and demand money. But then again she's my ex-wife- does that count?

Vincenzi

(...)

So I get asked sometimes what the secret is to a good marriage. And, I pass on the wisdom that I swear to God my Grandpa told me.

"The recipe for a good marriage is like the recipe for bear stew. First you gotta track down, shoot and skin a bear. The rest is just stew. So a good marriage starts with finding the right woman. The rest is just puttin' up with each other."

that was a very funny but wise advice

footiam

Dear Cinorjer

Of course, it does not matter what Buddha wanted in a wife; it’s very clear he didn’t want one. But what he said matters to laypeople. The least one could expect from one’s wife is to be appreciated.

Dear Jeffrey,
That would make a dog of a man.

Dear SherabDorje,
You don’t expect much, I see. But then, that’s just an ex-

Dear Vincenzi
A marriage will last if people put up with each other but will it be happy?

Jeffrey

Dear footiam, its a common saying. SWMBO. I didn't make it up. It takes too much energy to argue with women :P

Cinorjer

Well, I thought it was funny.

Vincenzi

@footiam

I never said it was about putting up with each other, just that meditators are (probably) better wives.

footiam

Dear Jeffrey,
What exactly is SWMBO? Some men are like that too.

Dear Cinorjer,
A dog when barking can be funny sometimes.

Dear Vincenzi,
No, you didn’t. I did.

MamaLotus

My advice would be: don't expect anything... just be open-minded and try your best to be happy together...

Jeffrey

footiam, its a cultural expression... like 'shit happens'. I am not saying it is particularly wise, it expresses a feeling men have in a relationship. The reason women don't say HWMBO is because of culture. Men should be able to wear pink dresses, but they don't in fact.

footiam

Dear MamaLotus,
It hurts when one expects.

Dear Jeffrey,
I see. Thanks. Talking about pink dresses, I can't help but be reminded of Barbra Cartland and Elton John.