Wish for something ... and the opposite happens!

betaboy

Isn't this mostly the case? When we want peace, then and only then are we bothered by traffic, noise etc. When we want peace within, then and only then does the mind go all over the place and frustrate this.

This happens to all opposites - desire happiness, receive bad news, desire strength, get sick etc. etc. What does all this point to?

BB

compassionate_warrior

I think it points you toward being mindful of what you're focussing on. Maybe you're a pessimist, so after you've wished for something, you tend to notice the opposite. I wonder how common or rare this experience is. Maybe members could tell us if they've noticed this or not. I've never heard of it.

taiyaki

if you desire something then it is conditional. thus you will either suffer or you will not suffer. such is the nature of samsara.

even if you desire great things or good things.

the point is to move beyond desire for good and bad things but accepting both equally. to realize that something good that happens is just as valid as something bad. and it is merely attachment to one and rejection of the other, which brings your suffering.

so when you totally accept suffering as it is and then see it for what it is. then you can just be unmoved. your acceptance is unconditional.

taiyaki

another way to think about it is. when you desire something, you usually unconsciously are rejecting something.

thus you attract what you feel/think/believe the most. so for instance i may want a girl friend, but i maybe thinking about the lack of girl friend in my life, which could bring about countless other thoughts about the situation. so though the desire to have a girl friend is okay, i only think about the negative, thus i attract the negative.

now if i think about wanting a girl friend and i think positively then i'll attract those positive things. also when i am thinking positively, i can actively do practical things to get a girl friend. say work on my physical appearance by working out or by going out and fishing for fish.

essentially this is the law of attraction. you get what you put out. so make sure you're putting out good vibes.

but buddhism moves beyond this so this is just personal advice.

kayte

Could it be because we put so much attention on the desired result that we become more anxious and overreact to mundane events? Once you catch yourself in this state, try to bring yourself into balance according to your practice. You might find that you are able to achieve your goals and find better ways to cope with setbacks.

compassionate_warrior

Could it be because we put so much attention on the desired result that we become more anxious and overreact to mundane events?

This makes sense.

MindGate

Wish for the opposite of what you want to happen.

SpinyNorman2

What does all this point to?

BB

It's pointing to the First Noble truth, the inevitability of dukkha.

Spiny

SherabDorje

Isn't this mostly the case?
BB

No. What happens, happens.

Bodha8

OP - Gone Fishin' Again.

Namaste

Yishai

When you wish for peace but all you realize is the traffic and noise, what made you wish for peace? I'd have to say the traffic and noise made you want some peace. And now you are continuing to notice the traffic and noise.

When you wish for strength but all you realize is your sickness, what made you wish for strength? I'd have to say the sickness made you want more strength. And now you are continuing to notice the sickness.

When you wish for happiness but all you get is bad news?, what made you wish for happiness? I'd have to say the bad news made you want happiness. And now you are continuing to notice the bad news.

I could go on. Desires are born from discomfort in the present. When we wish for something, we wish for difference. We should find a way to adjust to our present moment. Just because you tell yourself "I'm tired of hearing bad news and feeling bad, I want happiness" doesn't mean anything is going to change. This is dukkha. This is clinging. This is what Buddhism talks about!

There is always a way to find happiness in the present moment, but I can tell you right now that you can only find it through acceptance and understanding.

The world is noisy and restless; I notice this unrest because I know peace. I am sad and heartbroken; I notice the heartbreak because I know love. I am sick and weak; I notice the weakness and sickness because I know strength and health.

This makes it hard to appreciate your life, because you do not know death. Some do, but it's a hard lesson to learn. It is the fact that we have these opposites that we can appreciate the 'better' side. I say 'better' because in reality they are all just states of being, some more pleasant to reside in than the others.

aMatt

Wishing for peace doesn't bring upset mental states. Clinging does.

If you wish for something, prepare for help cultivating it. Such as your example, where you are being helped uproot your agitation (moments of difficulty) and cultivate peace (moments of practice).

If we cling to our wish instead, we're pulled away from our mindfulness and blame the environment for not manifesting the desire of being peaceful. Equanimity is cultivated by watching our agitation rise and fall as well as detaching our need from the environment. So, we get our chance!

Jeffrey

good post!