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Bad Attitude

XraymanXrayman Veteran
edited February 2006 in Buddhism Today
How many times have any of you been told that you have a bad attitude?

If I had a dollar for each time I'd be a very rich man-who else?

I think people consider me to be obstructionist and questioning-is this a good or bad thing?

Comments

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2006
    Ah, now...
    people have said many things about me:

    some of them 'hurtful'..
    some of them 'true'...
    some of them 'questionable'....
    Some of them 'complimentary'.....


    But never that.
  • edited February 2006
    Can't say I have been told that. Actually, people get frustrated with me because I am the OPPTIMIST! (even when there isn't much to go on!)
  • edited February 2006
    No, can't say "bad attitude" has ever been flung at me. Professional bad influence has been suggested, but not bad attitude.
  • edited February 2006
    Yes. When i refused to take sides when my mum and her boyfriend split up. And then everytime i didn't go to a club or pub - which is everytime.
  • edited February 2006
    I know what you mean, just because you look at things from both sides, or suggest something contrary to the norm you are perceived as being argumentative. I have also had another one thrown at me lately, and that is that I don't have an opinion. i.e.. it is not permitted to view a subject objectively in a detached manner. Could this be a Buddhist thing?
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited February 2006
    carbonunit wrote:
    I know what you mean, just because you look at things from both sides, or suggest something contrary to the norm you are perceived as being argumentative. I have also had another one thrown at me lately, and that is that I don't have an opinion. i.e.. it is not permitted to view a subject objectively in a detached manner. Could this be a Buddhist thing?

    I don't think it's particularly Buddhist. After all, we may all have met opinionated Buddhists!!! I think it is a failure of the school system to empower the young with the intellectual equipment. Dialectical thought is not just avoided, it is airbrushed out. The idea of finding a consensus is rejected in favour of the bald assertion. And as for evidence, well we won't let any of that spoil our perfectly good prejudice, shall we?
  • edited February 2006
    Simon, you have plunged your mighty sword into my inflated ego, and it HURT!!! A sprinkle from the cellar of humility does help the light of reason to shine through.

    I do not feel that one can place schooling and education on such a lofty perch. There is a division between education and intelligence. Auther C Clark devotes an addendum at the end of his novel 2060 to the subject. He uses the story of a religious cult leader in the states who, at the time of his arrest for tax evasion and fraud owned several rolls royces. Most of his congregation had university educations and degrees. This would support the theory that you can educate a person beyond their intelligence. That is why we are encouraged to not just learn the Dhama parrot fashion but rather to extract the wisdom from it and use it to better our lives and the lives of others. Television, mainstream music and dumbed down novels and reading matter are to my perception more damaging to people than a skewed schooling system. Just my two cents worth.

    As for a perfectly good prejudice, that is not an incorrect observation. I keep coming to the point of "us" versus "them" repeatedly when dealing with my 6 billion brothers and sisters. Whilst I am not for one moment going to hold myself up as an example of anything more than a slow learning ego. I cannot help but feel that a large section of the population is marching moronically through life without questioning or testing anything and catering only to their own selfish interest's. A person can offer love, kindness and charity, then write them off as a lost cause at the end of the day. Its seems wrong, but I get to meet people on a daily basis who will pass on in old age just as stupid as they are today. When two rams butt heads the one that tires of butting heads first backs down.

    Dialectical - the art or practice of arriving at the truth by the exchange of logical arguments. Now this sounds more like it.

    All views expressed here are my own and in no way represent this forum or the owners. If this offends anyone, it is solely due to unskillfull presentation and ignorance.
  • edited February 2006
    I think you both have made excellant points, Simon and Carbon. Like mosr everything, it's not just one cause...it's how people USE THEIR BRAINS (or lack of use, lol).

    As far as education, my brother and I both had a similar experience at 2 different universities. The professors are what I would call, 'on powertrips'. The assignment was to write a rather lengthy essay type paper. Being one to express my beliefs and experience, I wrote accordingly, along with research to support my view. I was given a D (my brother, an F). I argued the grade. The Prof. said that I had no basis.
    I took the matter to the head of the department who did in fact agree with me..but declared that there was nothing he could do to change the grade (same outcome with the brother). What it came down to...the Prof. was looking for 'students' to regergitate what HE had said. NOT for young adults to THINK FOR THEMSELVES. So to a degree, I'd that education in many ways, fails young minds.

    However, media, TV, movies, books, video games DO NOT always provide opportunity to USE OUR BRAINS! But, education is not teaching young minds to make decisions!
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Carbonunit,

    You're a riot! I love the disclaimer. You teach me something new every time. I think not having an opinion is the height of maturity and wisdom. IMHO humans make rash judgments all the time based on nothing more than knee jerk reactions and feelings. I think it's very important not to leap to judgment, simply because we very rarely have enough information or the forethought to fairly do so. I'm always struggling to keep my opinionated side in check because my opinions are usually based on prejudice and are therefore foolish.

    Simon and Sharpiegirl,

    I find truth in what you say. Perhaps more emphasis should be placed on debate in school to teach young people how to think for themselves and argue the two sides of every issue. Unfortunately, debating clubs have as much social prestige in todays schools as chess clubs.

    Xrayman,

    If three or more people who don't know each other have said this to you, your question may not only be brave but valid. Do you argue only to divide? Do you get a perverse pleasure in being contrary? Do you like to stir the pot just to see it boil over?

    Or, do you ruffle feathers gently? Stand up for what you know is true in the face of opposition? Have the desire to wake the zombies from their stupor for the benefit of all? Question ideas, beliefs, knowledge, traditions, superstitions and ignorance? Do you ask important questions that make people uncomfortable? Do you make the ideological think when they'd rather be lazy? And do so with a charming self-deprecating humour?

    Or is it a bit of both?

    If you care to know what I think (UH OH! Here we go with the opinions!) , I find your attitude endearing and refreshingly different and I think you'll answer your question when you question you intentions.

    And, no, I've never been told I had a bad attitude. I've been terrified to get in trouble of any sort all my life. I do love a good argument but I have that terrible flaw of trying to please people. Fortunately, as I get older and more confident I care less and less what others may think of me. I'm hopeful that one day I'll be rid of the dreaded "people pleaser" curse completely. And I'll heave a HUGE sigh! :grin:

    Brigid
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Dear Brigid,

    mmm well after some soul searching (which apparently enlightened people don't have???)help me here ZM and others, I have to clarify what i mean yes brigid I do try to make an effort to get others to think a little about what is accepted as "right", "we've always done it that way", "it's tradition" and so may other sh** reasons that some members of the human race continue to keep/hold onto. I choose to question and argue not to really shit-stir as such, but often it is perceived that way-I can understand how Mujaku feels ;)

    I have been in many "Bullying" situations both as a member of the military and as a civillian (It's ok I'm reformed now). I seriously mistrust many people in a position of power-I've seen gross abuses of power, and have been sickened by it. I had never wanted my own children to endure the same, but alas the struggle goes on. Most of the times i have been given the old "You've got a bad attitude" is when i questioned "Authoritay"-(thanks South Park).

    Perhaps also because I have a touch of the Lateral Thinker mentality, I really find Logic and Reasoning difficult to follow.. I know, what a weirdo. perhaps why some of these Koans (make that ALL of the koans)-just don't make any sense to me.

    Or maybe i've just got a bad attitude about all of this...
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited February 2006
    LOL!

    I only really started to question authority when I went to work for Greenpeace. Wait, that's not really true. I questioned my professors all the time. Not always to their faces but when they came up with something that was clearly bull I'd be back the next week with a rebuttal. I guess Greenpeace gave me a clearer understanding of how the actual world works. And to Bear Witness and blow the whistle became an important part of my development.

    You probably bear witness to every bullying situation you come across now. And who says the military can't produce kind and compassionate members of society?

    Love,
    Brigid
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