Desire/Hope for a beutifull girl = Suffering? Lack of courage?

StoicBuddhistAlex

Well there was this girl in my school(one year ago) wich I had big crush! and i felt i had very good chances with her. The sad part is that i lacked the balls to go for a conversation with her... I know pathetic :banghead:

Now Im in the university... She is still in the school(I am 2 years older than her). Last time(1 week ago) I went to a basketball game of my former school and I saw her... I was with my buddies and made mental justification not to talk to her(noise, to much crowd etc...). So again i failed. And the thing is that i dont know why i can take other girls of my mind but i cant take her out.

-The feeling that i ruined a good chance with a really beutifull girl which has great personality and moral keeps hunting me down...

:banghead:

Now time and space... social status... Keeps me away from even a chance of getting a rejection and forget her.

I still can go to some activities in the school and take that chance to finally take her out of my mind!!!!

Well thats my pathetic and sad story i guess...

Any buddhist advice to this situation?

Thanks in advance.

Mountains

I don't know that it's particularly "Buddhist" advice, but my take on it is, people are just people. Women, even gorgeous women, are people too. Speak to her like she was your oldest friend, treat her like a human being, and you might be surprised what happens.

Whatever you do, don't expect that just because you find her attractive that she's somehow perfect. I'm sure she has smelly farts now and then like everyone else

Lostie

Bro,

You want to live forever? Just go for it man and accept come what may.

Now that's sound buddhist advice. Have fun!

StoicBuddhistAlex

I don't know that it's particularly "Buddhist" advice, but my take on it is, people are just people. Women, even gorgeous women, are people too. Speak to her like she was your oldest friend, treat her like a human being, and you might be surprised what happens.

Whatever you do, don't expect that just because you find her attractive that she's somehow perfect. I'm sure she has smelly farts now and then like everyone else

Well thanks for answer xD. I think the real problem is the space and time that separate us. Ill have to wait like 3 months for another activity in wich i maybe see her again.

StoicBuddhistAlex

Bro,

You want to live forever? Just go for it man and accept come what may.

Now that's sound buddhist advice. Have fun!

WOW!!! you just said "You want to live forever?" one of the most amazing prhases in my opinion xD.

The problem is the space/time that separate us man. I have to wait like 3 months for the next activity.


She is still in shcool im in university

Theswingisyellow

Ask her out!
If she says no, well then you know.
If she says yes :rockon:

Lostie

Bro,

If this is not a Buddhist forum, I'd have given you a good one already but we practice skillful speech here.

Time? Space? Status? Are these genuine constraints? You know the situation best. We cannot help you decide. Only you can choose a course of action. Yes only you!

Take care bro!

Bro,

You want to live forever? Just go for it man and accept come what may.

Now that's sound buddhist advice. Have fun!

WOW!!! you just said "You want to live forever?" one of the most amazing prhases in my opinion xD.

The problem is the space/time that separate us man. I have to wait like 3 months for the next activity.


She is still in shcool im in university

Dakini

Women want guys to talk to them! Just say, hi! Ask her how she's doing, ask her if she has any college plans. Keep it casual and relaxed, not like your whole life depends on this one conversation. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

maarten

My advice would be (speaking from my own experience of being stupid with girls for a long time): chat with her, if some interest comes up that could be a date (a movie, concert, some sports you can do together) ask her out. It doesn't matter that you are crossing a "social boundary" by going a bit out of your way to talk to her, it's quite normal. Keep in mind that if it doesn't work out, you've not lost anything, there are wonderful other girls out there (it's better to not focus just on her all the time, you'll notice it's true :-)

rick2000sept

For every four girls you ask out, three will reject you. Keep this is in mind. I generally like to point out that being rejected may not always necessarily be a reflection on you as a person, but on the compatibility between the two people. There is someone for everyone.

In terms of Buddhism, I find that practicing gives me confidence around women. Take the idea of impermanence for example. If everything is always changing and one must be open to that change, then it seems almost silly to place so much emphasis on a conversation with a girl or whether or not she dates you. If she says yes and everything goes well, well good! But if not, something else will come along

It will work out.

StoicBuddhistAlex

Ask her out!
If she says no, well then you know.
If she says yes :rockon:

Hhehe hope I see her again some day.

StoicBuddhistAlex

Bro,

If this is not a Buddhist forum, I'd have given you a good one already but we practice skillful speech here.

Time? Space? Status? Are these genuine constraints? You know the situation best. We cannot help you decide. Only you can choose a course of action. Yes only you!

Take care bro!

Bro,

You want to live forever? Just go for it man and accept come what may.

Now that's sound buddhist advice. Have fun!

WOW!!! you just said "You want to live forever?" one of the most amazing prhases in my opinion xD.

The problem is the space/time that separate us man. I have to wait like 3 months for the next activity.


She is still in shcool im in university

Mnay thanks buddy for the answer ==). Like your advice.

Take care you to man

StoicBuddhistAlex

Women want guys to talk to them! Just say, hi! Ask her how she's doing, ask her if she has any college plans. Keep it casual and relaxed, not like your whole life depends on this one conversation. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Wise words man. Ill have it mind whe i approach her if I see her again someday

StoicBuddhistAlex

My advice would be (speaking from my own experience of being stupid with girls for a long time): chat with her, if some interest comes up that could be a date (a movie, concert, some sports you can do together) ask her out. It doesn't matter that you are crossing a "social boundary" by going a bit out of your way to talk to her, it's quite normal. Keep in mind that if it doesn't work out, you've not lost anything, there are wonderful other girls out there (it's better to not focus just on her all the time, you'll notice it's true :-)

Not to focus only in her .Ill stop the thinking in her. But if i see her again ill talk as you say.

Mnay thanks bro for sharing some wisdom

StoicBuddhistAlex

For every four girls you ask out, three will reject you. Keep this is in mind. I generally like to point out that being rejected may not always necessarily be a reflection on you as a person, but on the compatibility between the two people. There is someone for everyone.

In terms of Buddhism, I find that practicing gives me confidence around women. Take the idea of impermanence for example. If everything is always changing and one must be open to that change, then it seems almost silly to place so much emphasis on a conversation with a girl or whether or not she dates you. If she says yes and everything goes well, well good! But if not, something else will come along

It will work out.

Thanks for reply bro. Nice way of using some buddhist advices

:cool:



Ill try to imitate