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Compassion and Suffering
One of the most valuable teachings of Buddhism that can be borrowed by non-Buddhists, in my opinion, is how to be compassionate. The Dalai Lama teaches that compassion towards others is the best way to cultivate inner serenity and peace. According to him, being compassionate about the suffering of others can only add to your own happiness.
I find that when I am compassionate, it is very easy to make the suffering of others your own. I tend to empathize with them and become attached to the point where I am sad for them - for their suffering. This can be very draining.
My goal is to be compassionate. This is because if I am not compassionate, I am intolerant. Intolerance breeds anger and I do not want to be angry at people for their suffering. My question is this though: how does one become compassionate without being emotionally drained all the time?
Thank you for reading and considering what I have to say.
I find that when I am compassionate, it is very easy to make the suffering of others your own. I tend to empathize with them and become attached to the point where I am sad for them - for their suffering. This can be very draining.
My goal is to be compassionate. This is because if I am not compassionate, I am intolerant. Intolerance breeds anger and I do not want to be angry at people for their suffering. My question is this though: how does one become compassionate without being emotionally drained all the time?
Thank you for reading and considering what I have to say.
0
Comments
DO:
(1) Have a sincere wish that others be free of suffering.
(2) Where possible, engage in the removing of the suffering.
NOT:
(1) Don't get caught up in the grief of others (near enemy).
(2) Don't be cruel and uncaring about the suffering of others(far enemy).
{or something to that effect}
There is Idiot Compassion, and Wise Compassion.
Idiot Compassion disables people by taking their own power to address their own situations, away.
Idiot Compassion has misplaced sympathy, and creates a clinging, an ownership, a type of entitlement to gratitude....which is not Compassion at all, because it creates an agenda on both sides....
Wise Compassion sees the suffering of others, but understands that things are as they are, because they are as they are. You seek to support the person in their endeavours to overcome their difficulty, but you do not carry their 'pain' as baggage.
Wise Compassion is not self-sacrificing.
Otherwise, who needs the Compassion, now?
And how can anyone give Compassion if they themselves are burdened by sorrow?
compassion sees the instant, feels empathy in that instant, but then enables the compassionate to embrace the pain without owning it.
In love,
Even among those who hate.
Live in joy,
In health,
Even among the afflicted.
Live in joy,
In peace,
Even among the troubled.
Live in joy,
Without possessions.
Like the shining ones.
The winner sows hatred
Because the loser suffers.
Let go of winning and losing
And find joy."
--- from the Dhammapada, "Joy"
Namaste'
Kwan Kev
You must learn how to end your own suffering and you must develop right views, including on the worldly level, before you can practise complete compassion
You must be able to see the causes of the problems of others and the ideal solutions
How can you develop compassion (the wish to end the suffering of others) if you have no idea about how to end this suffering?
Just being "supportive" will still drain you if right views remain difficient
Kind regards
DD
this is compared to the two wings of a bird, one wing being wisdom and the other wing being compassion
but you are referring to some kind of "smart compassion", which is still just one wing
what is required is two different wings, namely: (1) wisdom; and (2) compassion
what must be developed is wisdom
compassion arises naturally from wisdom but wisdom cannot arise from sentimental compassion
kind regards
DD
in the equipoise of wisdom, one can engage compassion in a non-sentimental way
our problem is we may believe compassion is making others feel good, in the same way the Dalai Lama or Jesus makes other feel good
real compassion seeks to end suffering by being able to offer skilful means that allow others to help themselves
kind regards
I wish the problem was people had incomplete understanding of compassion. At least they'd be trying.
The problem is, people reject compassion entirely in any form as weakness and foolishness, while they wallow in their greed and self-centered passions.
When people struggle, compassion is the first thing thrown out. You have enough problems of your own. It's everyone for themselves. So you all end up drowning instead of helping each other into the life raft.
Compassion doesn't have to be wise, or be universal, or be enlightened, before you practice it. It just has to be. The wisdom and enlightenment will come later.
when you are compassionate be fully compassionate and let the energy come and go.
when you allow another's suffering to touch your heart don't cling to it. allow it to fully penetrate you and then naturally it will go away.
fully feel and accept what is. a fire burns until there is no fuel. true compassion will energize you rather than make you tired. a positive can only bring about more positives.