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What is marriage like? Having a significant other for years and years?

BeachHouseGuyBeachHouseGuy
edited July 2011 in Buddhism Basics
How do you maintain a fun loving relationship?

Comments

  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited July 2011
    Drop the emphasis on "fun" and develop a greater sense of gratitude & responsibility.

    Relationships are mostly not about fun.

    Relationships occur because of needs & sufferings, such loneliness, horniness, paternal drives, etc

    If we can see the needs & sufferings that cause us to need relationship, we can develop more understanding, more gratitude, more true friendship and more compassion

    Also, the Buddha taught two people having mutual goals and qualities is important

    Kind regards

    DD :)
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited July 2011
    The Buddha's answer to your question is here:

    http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an04/an04.055.than.html

    Regards :)
  • ThomBThomB Explorer
    My wife and I went on our first date October24, 1978. We have been married 30 years. I know Buddhism is not big on attachments but she is my best friend and I love her totally. We have been through some tough stuff but are still here.
  • compassionate_warriorcompassionate_warrior Veteran
    I'd say having shared values is one of the key elements. That's different from shared interests. Some couples come together based on interests they have in common, but eventually discover that they approach life completely differently. That's when things start to unravel.
  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran
    edited July 2011
    Namaste,

    If you want the fun with not much more, stay dating or hang with your friends. As @Dhamma Dhatu wisely pointed out, "Relationships are mostly not about fun."

    Relationships are hard work and require effort from both people. They don't stay "fun loving" or anything loving, on their own.

    For me, my relationship with my husband is based on love, trust, communication, understanding and honesty. Along with common interests, mutual goals and some similar beliefs. We've had our ups and downs but it's the hard work that has kept us together in the end.

    In metta,
    Raven

  • CinorjerCinorjer Veteran
    Twenty years for my wife and I. The big secret? Wish there was one I could tell people. We both care about each other's happiness. I would never do anything that would hurt her, and she treats me the same way. I enjoy her company and she enjoys hanging out with me. We're a couple.

    It's not always fun, naturally. We make each other mad sometimes. Two people living together are expected to do that. But, the thought of living without her just makes me feel lonely and sad.
  • eChrisreChrisr
    Be unconditional. Love. Don't give to receive. Give as a way of receiving.
    Establish that and turn anything you want into a game and have fun.
  • BonsaiDougBonsaiDoug Simply, on the path. Veteran
    My child-bride and I just celebrated our 43rd anniversary.

    Secret - keep in mind the Buddhist definition of love: wanting others to be happy; the unselfish interest in others' welfare.

    And by the way... a LOT of fun over the past 43 years. Wouldn't have had it any differently.
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