How not to waste life

NomaDBuddha

Saw a comic today on Funnyjunk, related to how we waste life. This was somewhat of a wake-up call for me, especially when, facing my the recent semi-failure ( some people here know about this problem ), I have to find a summer job in this short period. Can't find it. Gave telephone calls, either the companies didn't answer, either the ones who answered were so dumb...*ahem*...confused, that they even forgot about posting some job offers on the internet; or, refused me without much thought.

Now, relating these events, I wonder, how not to waste my life. How can I be of maximum use for the society (I know, I grew up with a slave's mentality) ? I'm beginning to see that the days are passing me by, and I get old without doing anything that would remain.

BTW, I began to write a novel,that has some buddhist themed scenes and actions, some-what like the Lord of The Rings. The only difference is that my world is strongly influenced by east-asian culture ( japanese, somewhat mongol and chinese). i don't know maybe this will worth something, maybe not.

The question remains : how to avoid wasting my life ?

Mr_Serenity

One saying that always stays with me and helps give me momentum when I have doubts, was from a psychology professor. He told me;
"It's never too late."

That's how you don't waste life. You realize it's never too late, and you just do what you can. Sometimes we can't do what we have in mind, but if we try hard and believe we can succeed we may just succeed. Even if we don't succeed, we will feel a bit better knowing we did what we could.

As long as we try to do something progressive everyday, and work on the things we don't want to do even when we need to do them. You make progress by continuing to move forward without contemplation. Sometimes contemplation is needed, but I find that experience is the best teacher. If you think too much, you waste time.

Better to live, and learn, and then your thinking will change and mature from experience.

NomaDBuddha

@ Mr Serenity

I hope I do so. I hope I'll just learn. But the social pressure put on my head means that I'm one of the many thousands of individuals that just went through college, or anything that brings you a certification for a future job, like a speeding train through a deserted station. My parents are still mad at me, for trying to find a summer job for two weeks and not finding it , and still bang my head against the wall with things that make me look at myself as a failure, as a nobody, that had everything for granted ( big grades in my case; compared to some low performance in the last two exams). I know, that's maybe not the way I should see myself, and should probably pump up some self esteem. But, that's how people around me tend to see me ( except a few, that told me not to despair, and ultimately not to even think about suicide).

I don't want that. I know it may sound arrogant, but that's what I wish for. I just want to make something useful out of my life, and also enjoy it.

Talisman

I wrote a 700 page fantasy novel in high school. It's still sitting in my closet. As life goes on, new challenges and opportunities and interests arise. Don't get ahead of yourself. Stay optimistic and motivated. Work hard and be kind.

NomaDBuddha

@ Talisman

Thanks ! Won't forget that. I try to practice what I call "small-thing compassion".
Least I'm useful at making people happy for ten seconds flat

NomaDBuddha

Also, Talisman, how is it best...to write my novel 'pen-and-paper' fashion, or just Microsoft Word ?

Talisman

Write it all on a computer. You'll kill yourself if you write a 250 page novel and have to type it all up. When I was writing it was important that I force myself to write at least 5 pages every day. Stay motivated.

Talisman

It took me about 3 months to write my book. That's first draft, no editing. It can take upwards of 1-3 years to write anyhting of substance. Make sure you focus on education as well. An english lit degree is very good for aspiring writers and looks good to publishers.

NomaDBuddha

Well, that being said... I wonder how it will work in my country first. being written in Romanian, I hope someone will notice ( I just have to pull the right strings) and will publish a few examples. Until getting it into England, or USA, it will take a loong time.

tmottes

Here is a great thread to refer to when thinking about how to not waste your life.

http://newbuddhist.com/discussion/11477/top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed

Mountains

It is truly never too late. Ever.

NomaDBuddha

@ tmottes

Leon posted a nice thing. The bad part is, with this pressure from my close ones, I won't see how to put an end to those "regrets". Maybe they'll realize i needed/lacked something crucial in my growth as a human on the way, or maybe I lost what they gave me. Who knows. Again, the bad part is, that I'm trapped in a 'roller-coaster of pain' and I can't see how I can make my life a more happier place.

tmottes

...
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
...
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
...
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
...
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
...
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
...

Ideally we should die without regret, as regret is a sign of attachment. However, until that point, it appears that the top 5 regrets all deal with our relationships with other people. This begs the question, should we have our "dying priorities" throughout our daily lives? I suppose, it depends on how healthy your outlook on life is. If throughout your life, you practice living in the moment (mindful and aware) without judgement, your "dying priorities" probably won't change much. If you failed to fully appreciate what you had at the time, then your views might change rather quickly.

I am not a very social person, but I have come to realize that my connections to other people (and living things in general) should be my first priority in life. Putting other living creatures as my first priority means to have compassion for all living things. I am not going to regret not buying that new computer or inventing some widget that provides temporary pleasure for others. However, I sure as hell will regret not appreciating the time I had with the living creatures around me.

That being said, we should avoid becoming attached to our lack of (or missing out on) something (time with others, etc) either. We must accept that "time" has moved on; we should be focused on the now so as to not repeat the same mistake, even in the last moments of our life.

Dakini

Nomad: the Mongol/Chinese/Japanese influence sounds great! The global market is getting very multi-cultural now. Your book could work.

How not to waste your summer (are you re-applying for university in the fall?): can you do volunteer work somewhere, is that an accepted custom in your country? Like at a hospital, or maybe at a business that is relevant to your career/education plans? Or maybe find some kids who need tutoring? Is your country a place where personal connections are how people get jobs? Work your personal connections: friends, relatives.

NomaDBuddha

@Dakini

I can't reapply. Universities have a short period of time for people to apply to, and is usually during summer right after high-school graduation exam, and no one can apply whenever he wishes. The thing is that I have entered two universities and I have not yet entered those two this summer. I'll see tomorrow what's what.

@tmottes

Well, those 5 regrets are something to work on. If I take the first three of them, I have to really change the way I live. The bad part is, I don't have the right ground on which I should work on changing my attitude toward...anything that matters in the right way.

tmottes

Why do you feel you don't have the right ground on which to start changing your attitude? No better time than the present moment. It doesn't mean that you have to be perfect right off the bat, a start might be just observing what your actions show your priorities to be . Be patient with yourself and you can make the changes if you truly desire them.

goshiki

In Buddha or in search of Buddha is all about getting free of own awareness . Buddha energy is perhaps 99.999% of all life or nature . Even a serial killer perhaps have 99.999% of Buddha energy in him is just about the 0.001% of the pollutant we call it "life" . Life is a tools to purity , wasting "life" is to me is "entertaining" my own polutant by not learning to know "life".

DaltheJigsaw

Wonderful thread!

NomaDBuddha

@ tmottes

I simply don't have the right grounds because of my conflicting emotions. On one hand I try to deal with the failure and on the other hand I feel stabbed from all directions either by my regrets either by other negative things that make me go sad.

@ Goshiki

So, a criminal has 99% potential to attain enlightenment, but some 1% influence from outside of his own nature sets him on a bad path. Amirite ?

@Leon

Thanks ! Any idea on how should I cope with my failure (if I do fail) or how should I not waste life ?

tmottes

I completely understand. One thing you can do is to simple experience those feelings, don't encourage or discourage them. Just watch them and continue with what you consider to be your best course of action. Meditation will assist in this process.

NomaDBuddha

@tmottes

I know. Meditation helped me a long time ago when I had to get out of a bad friend zone. The morning after 'getting out'...that feel...when you eat cereal with cold milk LIKE A BOSS !

Now, I seem to have lost my arsenal. One year of continuous and chaotic study practically left me without some brain lobes.

I'll try to practice once again meditation, among other self-improvement things, now that I seem to have all the time in the world.

tmottes

Hehe see, you are already looking at your "failure" as a great opportunity to get back on track with your practices.

MamaLotus

I try to practice what I call "small-thing compassion".
Least I'm useful at making people happy for ten seconds flat

And you know what, those ten seconds might just be enough to save someone to feel very depressed or even worse.... how could you be a failure then?? Cheer up, good luck!!!!

MamaLotus

sorry... I meant "to save someone from feeling depressed"....

NomaDBuddha

@ MamaLotus

A good advise or a good word is a good advice/word everywhere. No worries.

goshiki

In my awareness , Buddha energy is in most of living life or non-living nature but since I still not "awake" I still "enjoying" my life , still focus on my pollutant like still focus on my desire/compassion/emotions etc . These pollutant deter me from buddha. If I continue to concentrate on my 1% pollutant but fail to know Buddha energy in me , I will have to continue to birth / survive / death as this is what I want / enjoy to do . In buddha is all up to me of what I want to be or what I wish for . Buddha energy never stop or make me do against my awareness , is always up to me to know , to be awake and to learn Buddha .
If I continue to spend my life showing my pollutant that is wasting "life" .
In Buddha bad / evil / ego / selfishness is in lower awareness far from Buddha , good / kindness / selfless / compassion is in higher awareness closer to Buddha . But in Buddha , there will be no good or bad , just pure emptiness .

Dakini

@Leon
Thanks ! Any idea on how should I cope with my failure (if I do fail) or how should I not waste life ?

Step 1: Don't label yourself a failure.
Can you give us an update on your situation, now? Were you accepted at either university? What are your options? Besides going to Germany or somewhere else in the EU and doing menial labor, I mean...

NomaDBuddha

@ Dakini

I'll find out today what's what.
Theoretically, I have been accepted and not rejected. But, to be truly accepted, things intervene. Like the average of all the grades I took at Romanian Literature, Maths and Physics exams, that will put me in advantage or disadvantage against other candidates who applied to the same university.

What are my other options ?
1. Find a job ( not a chance these days)
2. Stay one year at home, learn again the whole subjects to reapply next year (for human medicine only; if I don't enter veterinary this year, then I'll have to re-learn the whole human anatomy and the whole physics).

I won't go to either country in EU to work. Their labor markets are full of Romanians, and people from...let's say Germany or Spain try to find ways to send them back home.

NomaDBuddha

@Dakini : I've been accepted at Veterinary College in Bucharest, but on the tax-paying seats. What I have to do now, is study hard a year, till the first exams, and then I'll advance to state-financed seats.

tmottes

Congrats !!

NomaDBuddha

Thank you so much !

Dakini

CONGRATULATIONS, NOMAD!! ha--now you don't need a "how not to waste life" thread!! ^_^
And you'll be studying for a career in compassion.

Are there many jobs for veterinarians in Romania?

NomaDBuddha

Guess there are. As I heard from one, it's more profitable than a human medic career. But, if there aren't many jobs, I'll just have to pull the right strings and create a job.

tmottes

Will you be focusing on farm or pet?

NomaDBuddha

I guess pets.

DaltheJigsaw

@ tmottes

I simply don't have the right grounds because of my conflicting emotions. On one hand I try to deal with the failure and on the other hand I feel stabbed from all directions either by my regrets either by other negative things that make me go sad.

@ Goshiki

So, a criminal has 99% potential to attain enlightenment, but some 1% influence from outside of his own nature sets him on a bad path. Amirite ?

@Leon

Thanks ! Any idea on how should I cope with my failure (if I do fail) or how should I not waste life ?

Failure is all in the mind. It's an illusion that holds us back. It's like fear, it exist here and now, but it could be surpassed and not paid attention to. It will happen when you slow your mind to nothing but emptiness. Practice sitting and answers will appear to you.

DaltheJigsaw

@ Dakini

I'll find out today what's what.
Theoretically, I have been accepted and not rejected. But, to be truly accepted, things intervene. Like the average of all the grades I took at Romanian Literature, Maths and Physics exams, that will put me in advantage or disadvantage against other candidates who applied to the same university.

What are my other options ?
1. Find a job ( not a chance these days)
2. Stay one year at home, learn again the whole subjects to reapply next year (for human medicine only; if I don't enter veterinary this year, then I'll have to re-learn the whole human anatomy and the whole physics).

I won't go to either country in EU to work. Their labor markets are full of Romanians, and people from...let's say Germany or Spain try to find ways to send them back home.

How old are you?

NomaDBuddha

19

DaltheJigsaw

19

Stay mindful and focus on emptiness.
From my experience this should bring you peace.

NomaDBuddha

@ Leon
I found the occasion to practice mindfulness this summer. Also, in this package come things that will prove useful in the future.

DaltheJigsaw

@ Leon
I found the occasion to practice mindfulness this summer. Also, in this package come things that will prove useful in the future.

Wonderful!
Glad to hear you found something that is useful in your life!

compassionate_warrior

It sounds like you're on the path to a bright and rewarding future. Congratulations on your acceptance into the program. I hope you succeed in getting into one of the state-funded seats.

NOTaGangsta

Posting on internet forums having frivilus debate do take up alot of a homeboy's time.... oh :O :O

NomaDBuddha

@NotaGangsta

What ?? I can't into hood-talk.