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What should I do?
I've recently started thinking of what I should do with my life, how it will go, where it will lead.
I'm living with my girlfriend, whom I love and don't want to hurt.
But I feel something is missing.
Lately I began reading the Dhammapada and started to examine myself and my life.
I'm wondering if perhaps becoming a Bikkhu is the right place to go?
I don't want to jump into anything too quickly, but I get a real sense of happiness and relief when I think of becoming a monk.
I wouldn't be doing to escape my problems in life or anything like that, I have a relatively good, happy life. It just feels like there's a big piece of the puzzle missing.
I feel a bit like Siddartha did when he first left the palace.
Does anyone have anything they'd like to ask or add to this?
Thank you.
I'm living with my girlfriend, whom I love and don't want to hurt.
But I feel something is missing.
Lately I began reading the Dhammapada and started to examine myself and my life.
I'm wondering if perhaps becoming a Bikkhu is the right place to go?
I don't want to jump into anything too quickly, but I get a real sense of happiness and relief when I think of becoming a monk.
I wouldn't be doing to escape my problems in life or anything like that, I have a relatively good, happy life. It just feels like there's a big piece of the puzzle missing.
I feel a bit like Siddartha did when he first left the palace.
Does anyone have anything they'd like to ask or add to this?
Thank you.
0
Comments
And if I come to realize that it isn't the right way for me to go and that staying a lay practitioner is the right way for me, then I'll continue to cultivate my happiness as I can, perhaps even just a weekend retreat or week long retreat could help open my eyes to which way is right?
I would suggest that you take time to carefully consider your future. If you feel the way of the Bikkhu is the right way for you, then so be it.
However, (IMO) one does not have to be a Bikkhu to truly practice Buddhism. I think you can achieve this in life, as is.
But, end of the day, this is your life, and you know best. Have confidence and faith in yourself.
Lastly, does your girlfriend have any views on this topic? (I ask this because your decisions may impact her life and this is an important consideration).
Whatever it is you decide, good luck and may you achieve your aspirations.
First off, what you are experiencing sounds a lot like samvega (spiritual urgency/chastened dispassion). If it is, it is a good sign. It means that the dust is not as thick as it could be. Perhaps you may want to read Affirming the Truths of the Heart.
Secondly, I know exactly what you mean. I have been in the very same position that you are now finding yourself in. My advice: "If you truly "love" her, then be with her. If you do not truly love her, then being with her is not doing either one of you any good." I once thought I was ready to become a bhikkhu, but I later found that I was not. I still cared too much for someone to simply leave them behind. Perhaps it is more of an attachement than love, I don't really know, but I would suffer horribly without them [knowing that they feel the same about me]. If we were not together I would certainly be ordained, but until we no longer love each other I cannot imagine life without her.
Thirdly, do not jump to the conclusion that ordaining is the way to go [which doesn't sound like the case, but... there is certainly nothing wrong with being a dedicated lay-follower]. Take a lot of time to think about it. Spend weeks or months at a time living at a temple [either for retreats or just extended stays] before you even think about ordaining. Rash decisions are usually the worst kind [ as you could unintentionally hurt many people close to you, as well as yourself]. If you cannot practice half as dilegently as they do now, then you probably should not consider it as an option for some time. By this I mean that you should already at least be able to eat and sleep moderately, meditate often, study the Suttas, and be mentally stable enough to endure a lot of negative emotions. The monastic life is very difficult and lonely at times. As easy and carefree as it sometimes seems, it is certainly not. It takes all of you time, devoution, and energy. Bhikkhus do not have "weekends". They pracitce every single day of their lives. It is a very serious commitment.
And lastly, all I can say is that you should certainly follow your heart, but follow it at some distance. Don't just jump blindly into a decision which could cause you a lot of unnecessary unhappiness in the long run. If you really feel that ordination is an option for you, take at least a few years of serious study and practice [as well as discussing it with your family] before you take the next step. In time, you will know what is the right thing for you to do. Don't be too complacent, but don't be too careless either. Patience and mindfulness should be your guides here. That has been my own experience, and I hope that it will help you in some way.
Jason
Good luck to you.
Isn't it obvious?
Jason
Are we talking about the same thing?
:wtf:
Jason
Biggest bit of common sense I heard in a long time SG! Applause! Applause!
Ok, I see the confusion now...
I was referring to what happened a few years ago in this thread, not the recent offer to attend Mahachulalongkorn University. A few years ago I was living at a Thai monastery training to become a bhikkhu. I was learning Thai, Pali, rules of monastic life, etc. Although I knew that I wanted to do this, I was simply not ready to do it just then. As for the offer to go to the University, that turned out to be unavailable. The reason was that only the Masters degree program was in English, and not the Bachelors. I simply could not attend.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Jason
OK. Glad you're still with us.