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Buddhist responses to 'hate'
questZENer
Veteran
I'm troubled. I'm sure many of you have heard about this young man who visited a gay bar in Massachusetts:
He had two drinks and asked the bartender, "Is this a gay bar?" When he received a "yes" answer, he walked into another part of the bar, removed a hatchet from his jacket and begin swinging it at others. When others tried to restrain him, he removed a gun and started firing. Three people were injured, one critically. As if THAT wasn't enough, he was caught over the weekend and, during a shootout, this young man was injured and died.
I am troubled not only because I consider myself a member of the queer community. I am troubled because this kind of violence against others seems to be more and more common. The queer community is not the only one, but also pro-lifers/pro-choicers, clinics that provide important services (abortion, drug rehab, contraception), religious communities.
I firmly believe that by sitting (meditation), I take direct responsibility for being mindful of my own in/action, including the violence I cause both in and as a result of my body, speech, and mind.
Is sitting enough? As Buddhists, what can we do when we are confronted with hatred and violence? Is there a way to confront violence and hatred that goes beyond accepting it as "suffering" in general?
He had two drinks and asked the bartender, "Is this a gay bar?" When he received a "yes" answer, he walked into another part of the bar, removed a hatchet from his jacket and begin swinging it at others. When others tried to restrain him, he removed a gun and started firing. Three people were injured, one critically. As if THAT wasn't enough, he was caught over the weekend and, during a shootout, this young man was injured and died.
I am troubled not only because I consider myself a member of the queer community. I am troubled because this kind of violence against others seems to be more and more common. The queer community is not the only one, but also pro-lifers/pro-choicers, clinics that provide important services (abortion, drug rehab, contraception), religious communities.
I firmly believe that by sitting (meditation), I take direct responsibility for being mindful of my own in/action, including the violence I cause both in and as a result of my body, speech, and mind.
Is sitting enough? As Buddhists, what can we do when we are confronted with hatred and violence? Is there a way to confront violence and hatred that goes beyond accepting it as "suffering" in general?
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Comments
This story is one of the reasons I've become the chicken-shit that I am. I honestly have a very difficult time listening to the horrible acts that one man can do against others. And, I've found the longer I go without hearing things like this on the news, the more distraught and shocked I am to hear about it.
Pacifism seems to be the path of many Buddhists - but I honestly don't know what to do about this. Because whether Islamic, Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, etc. - you never know when one of these acts is going to happen - and what can you do? What can you do unless you are there in the moment?
I absolutely hate to hear about things like this. It upsets me.
-bf
As far as sitting goes - I can't say. I am very new here and know nothing but my heart goes out to everyone, including you, who got hurt in this.
Is this the only recourse?
Is being grateful for suffering the 'right attitude' with which to approach violence and hatred?
Is part of the struggle to realize a place in which we can appreciate our lives and abandon hope?
I would have to say that I could not (and hope I would not) stand idly by while another being is injured.
There are more learned people here, than I, that might be able to provide you with more information.
-bf
You pose an excellent question. My answer to this is:
You can only productively confront something when you have the necessary knowledge and tools to do so. To blindly jump into a situation without being adequetely prepared is often not the best option available. An untrained firefighter could easily get everyone killed if they were not properly trained in the use of their own tools, as well as the various kinds of fires.
Now, in some cases immediate action may be the best option, like jumping into a pool to save a drowning person or stopping a murderer perhaps, but when it comes to the vast roots of greed, hatred, and delusion we need a different strategy. When we jump into the fray with them, we lose. They simply condition more of the same. The solution is actually a slow and painful one.
First, we must realize the very same potential within ourselves. We must clearly see that we too have these same three defilements in one form or another. It is just like a forest, even though there may not be a fire visible right now, the fuel is always there. The right spark and... This can often be very difficult because it shows us how unskillful we really are/can be. If the conditions are right, we all could be just like that man.
Secondly, we should thoroughly investigate our three kilesas (defilements). We must explore them, study them, and know them for what they truly are. While we are doing this, we should also practice meditation on the Four Brahmaviharas [see AN X.20 and The Four Sublime States]. To simply observe them without any "safety net" would only give them more strength [as we would merely lose ourselves within them]. We also need their opposites to counteract their effects.
Lastly, after we have gained a solid foundation, we have to gain complete insight into their direct cause, and thus destroy them utterly by removing that cause. This means that we have to direct all of our efforts towards the extinction of avijja (ignorance) by the way of practicing all the factors in the Buddha's Noble Eightfold Path.
Now, while this is all happening, we should still do what we can to relieve the suffering of others. If, for example, we see injustices done to certain people [i.e. homosexuals] we should try to change that as skillfully as possible. How? Well, that depends on the person and their means. Each has his or her own strengths to offer. One could donate money to awareness campaigns, one could try to help educate people on equality and tolerance, one could simply be a wonderful example [if they were themselves homosexual], etc.
In other words, sitting is really not enough. We need to do what we can for ourselves, as well as others. If we can't do too much, though, we should not let that bother us. We are limited creatures of course, and nobody expects a single person to make everyone's suffering magically disappear [and if they do, they are simply delusional]. It's all relative really--the more wisdom we gain, the more our actions will help to make a positive difference.
Remember, there are Four Noble Truths, not just one.
Jason
Good question.
I followed this story while it was in the news and it gets worse. The boy also shot and killed one of the police officers who stopped his car after a chase and he shot and killed his female passenger.
I know from my own experience that hatred and violence can't be extinguished with hate and violence. I know that hate breeds hate and violence breeds violence. The only effective way to confront them is with love and compassion.
"Retaliate not. Be silent as a cracked gong when you are abused by others. If you do so, I deem that you have already attained Nibb?na although you have not realized Nibb?na."
I think the abuse meant here is different from attempted murder. I don't think we are meant to go limp if someone is coming at us with a machete. I think it's safe to assume that we have not only the right but the obligation to defend our own lives.
The Buddha also said that we should never sacrifice our own welfare for that of another. So perhaps he was saying that it would be foolish to stand unarmed in the path between the machete and the intended victim.
Life is full of ambiguous situations like this and the Buddha knew it very well. I think that may be the reason we're told to live our lives in the most skillful manner possible. In this case, that might mean having a response ready for senseless acts of this kind. Perhaps by not allowing anyone to enter the premises with weapons. Perhaps having a team of bouncers trained in responding to violence. There are many other suggestions I'm sure people can come up with. Einstein once said that brilliant people solve problems and geniuses prevent them from happening in the first place.
So, as Buddhists, perhaps our response to violence and hatred should be love, compassion and a hefty dose of wisdom (or genius, whichever you prefer).
Brigid
heres a quick thought.
i was about 18 when I was travelling home on the train from the Air force base (yes i was a trained killer blah blah blah-whatever) and I got to talking a family of "Ferals" or wild people-if you like. It turns out that the "wife" was an excellent political catoonist, the "husband" was a gret artist as well -they showed me their folio's and the kids were really well-balacnced (for ferals).
They asked me what I did, my response was a very-embarrassed member of the Military-but i did not kill people-want to kill people-or even agree with the war in iraq etc.etc and that I was actually a Pacifist (which I am).
Well the "lady" piped up and said well just the mere fact that you are in the military and not actively doing anything-was in itself saying that I am part of the problem. i must admit that i had never thought about it that way. So in effect, i was part of the "hate regime".
I thanked them and spent the next few years feeling like S***.
moral of the story? make an effort to quell and rid the world of hatred-it gets us nowhere, but if you need to defend your country I don't see a problem with that-within reason. I still don't subscribe to the idea of having military forces for the sake of having them though-that's the Pacifist shining through again.
Am I babbling?
bye
One of my favorite writers, Mary Catherine Bateson, reflects on the fact that most people have the idea of how we learn backwards. Most people think you learn something and then you go out and do it. Her observation, I think correctly, that we usually go out and do something, then we learn what it is we're doing. Action first, learning as a result of action. A child is born to parents. They are put in the role of learning what it is to be 'parent' first by being in the situation.
While I think the point Elohim makes here resonates--using action skillfully--by doing something we learn what there is to be done. For me, to be alive is to be in training. Even the most skilled firefighter, well trained in the use of their own tools, sometimes die not because they were not prepared for the fire but because sometimes the fires they find are unexpected. Hopefully, those lives that are lost are examined to understand how and what went ary. Perhaps those lives are valuable because they could help implement protocols for future fires. Without going out to fight the fires in the first place, without knowing what to expect, what would we learn about firefighting?
My point is: doing first can lead to learning. I'm not convinced the opposite is always true. What is 'adequate preparation' for living our lives, if not living itself?
You asked: What is 'adequate preparation' for living our lives, if not living itself?
I would have to say: Learning to live skillfully [à la the Noble Eightfold Path].
Jason
I must say I have been burdened by knowledge of how cruel people can be day in and day out, and so this topic really resonates with me. Normally, I'd have great quotes and thoughts to share on the matter, but personal demons of mine gain ground on me in the winter. And I don't like giving watered down wisdom. so all I can say is thank you and grats.
Colourful jolly avatar, too!
Brigid
And hello Fede! Thought I would try a new avatar. I still feel like a bear, it is winter after all, but i noticed quickly this is much friendlier atmosphere.... maybe i could make small effort to lighten up. [you would recognize my poems for certain] Namaste.
(I'm a bear too, and starting to snarl at the snow!)
9/11: There are many different stories, if you will, about what actually happened and if it could have been prevented. However, the fact is, it happened. We all know that the focus on Osama BinLaden has been put on the back burner (at least with the media).
Following the Eight Fold Path, yet defending the US, I am curious to know what anyone might think.
PS I do not wish to get into a political conversation, but rather a Buddhist view.
I am personally distressed and greatly saddened by World leaders everywhere, who chose to adopt an aggressive stance, even in a defensive manner, and whose actions are therefore to the fore and prominently reported upon, to the cost of other events....... all around us, there are events of Human tragedy and disaster desperately in need of world Compassion and concrete aid.....But the 'bad stuff always seems to stay in the News far longer...
I found this at:
http://www.dalailama.com/page.44.htm
That was one the most useful posts ever.
Thank you so much.
Brigid
"X-Ray brought a point about a country's need to defend itself. This is just the thing that I have trouble grasping...."
if someone swings an axe at me and splits my head open like a pomegranate, should i wish him good metta etc. while I lie dying in my own blood and sputum? or should I be entitled to defend myself against the blows?
regards,
X
This is from a post on page 1 of this thread:
Understood. I suppose I was just musing. Hypotheticals and rhetorical questions interest me.
regards,
Xray
Do we as a species work to overcome our instinctual habits/reactions?
Or use it as an excuse (for lack of a better term at the moment) for our behavior?
Thanks for that. The last Paragraph, particularly, is Sublime
"I am sure everybody agrees that we need to overcome violence, but if we are to eliminate it completely, we must first analyse whether or not it has any value. From a strictly practical perspective, we find that on occasions violence indeed appears useful. We can solve a problem quickly with force. However, such success is often at the expense of the rights and welfare of others. As a result, even though one problem has been solved, the seed of another has been sown.
"On the other hand, if your cause is supported by sound reasoning, there is no point in using violence. It is those who have no motive other than selfish desire and who cannot achieve their goal through logical reasoning who rely on force. Even when family and friends disagree, those with valid reasons can state them one after another and argue their case point by point, whereas those with little rational support soon fall prey to anger. Thus anger is not a sign of strength but of weakness.
"Ultimately, it is important to examine our own motivation and that of our opponent. There are many kinds of violence and nonviolence, but we cannot distinguish them through external factors alone. If our motivation is negative, the action it produces is, in the deepest sense, violent, even though it may appear to be deceptively gentle. Conversely, if our motivation is sincere and positive but the circumstances require harsh behaviour, essentially we are practising nonviolence. No matter what the case may be, I feel that a compassionate concern for the well-being of others - not simply for oneself - is the sole justification for the use of force." HH The Dalai Lama
Simonthepilgrim found this at:
http://www.dalailama.com/page.44.htm
---
It was drilled into our heads exactly how we were supposed to respond, how to hold our bodies (and our tongues), how to look into the eyes of the police whenever possible (riot police wear dark visors on their helmets but you can still engage their eyes if you're very close) in order to let them see you're not a threat to them, how to sit together in locked arm position, to make sure to have the phone number of the Greenpeace lawyer written in indelible ink on the underside of your forearm in case you're arrested, how to curl up into fetal position and protect your head when being beaten, how to go limp when being dragged or carried etc.
We were also constantly reminded that it was due to the bravery and love of those who came before us that we had these protective techniques, and civil disobedience itself, and to keep those people in mind while in peaceful protest. We were given antidotes to anger to remember and to be able to call up at will to keep us calm in case violence broke out. Our teachers were experienced in civil disobedience and they knew how difficult it was to hold your temper while seeing peaceful people being beaten. The police are sometimes ordered to create violence in order to incite violence in the protesters and we were trained to be immune to it.
I will never forget those people who taught us. They never had a bad word to say about the police. It was understood that the police were doing their job. And we were doing ours. They taught with such compassion and wisdom and I was only 21. It had a huge impact on me. Especially because I was prone to rage when I was younger and I saw films of the Suffragettes and civil rights marchers, and Vietnam war protesters, especially Kent State. When I saw "Gandhi" I cried for hours in rage and frustration. But Greenpeace gave me something to do with my frustration and rage. The antidote was gratitude and remembrance of those who had gone before and our love and compassion for all beings suffering in this world. You can see why I was so attracted to Greenpeace. LOL!
Love,
Brigid
I'm wondering, Brigid, if you care to share any more of these techniques with us. I find it very interesting in the abstract, and also in the concrete ways all this affected you and your life.
Sure, I'd be happy to elaborate.
The antidotes to anger I was taught at Greenpeace had to be deeply ingrained and easily and quickly recalled in an atmosphere of violence, fear and confusion.
The ones we were taught when I was there, which was 17 years ago, were specific visualizations of those who had gone before us; Gandhi and his many followers, Dr. Martin Luther King and other peaceful civil rights leaders, the early Greenpeace founders (who applied Quaker principles like Bearing Witness and peaceful techniques of calm, cool headed logic while in debate as well as a deep understanding of the brother/sisterhood of humankind), and any peaceful religious and spiritual figures and leaders for whom we had a personal feeling of closeness. We were taught to call upon them as sources of strength and courage as well as strong, immediate reminders of how to conduct ourselves.
We were also taught to use music, singing and humming, to soothe ourselves.
We were taught relaxation and deep breathing exercises.
We were taught how to bring up a spirit of gratitude and humility at a moments notice by reminding ourselves that we were highly privileged, wealthy westerners who had enough food to eat, clean water to drink, a roof over our heads, the right to free speech and the right to protest our government, unlike the majority of the world's population.
And most importantly we were taught how to go limp, in a physical and emotional way, to detach with love when we were being attacked. This was, of course, coupled with the physical training I mentioned in my earlier post of how to roll our bodies into fetal position while protecting our heads and kidneys. We were taught to stay as physically relaxed as possible while in this position in order to lessen the effects of blows. But once the threat of violence had passed, if we were being forcibly removed by being dragged or lifted by the police going limp was very useful. It was taught to us as a physical limpness with a sort of Gestalt limpness, trusting in the universe sort of hippie thing. And I've found it useful in countless instances since then. In fact, "going limp" has become a sort of running joke in my life.
As to how all of this affected my life, it was a far better education than I received in my four years at university. I majored in history and politics because I wanted to know how the world worked. I learned far more about how it actually worked within my first two weeks at Greenpeace. And all of this was another stepping stone to Buddhism which is the most important thing I've ever found in my life.
Today I'm sure they have more advanced techniques and more formal training procedures. But I never had to use any of my training because I was never at a protest that went bad. I never got arrested, never got any teeth knocked out, never got trampled by any police horses. I never even got a billy club to the head. Nothing. Just a lot of walking, singing, carrying banners, shouting slogans and lots of hippie hugging and hot tea. Aaahhh, those were the days...
Brigid
Well that's just great. The one subject I really enjoy-and I have no idea about-History hey? well you'd better start elaborating... Come on I'm listening...
regards,
Xrayman
How come you didn't use quotes for me? Did you forget? Don't you care? Don't you want to give me credit? Don't I deserve a little credit? Don't you know how important things like that are to me? Don't I matter? What, am I invisible? Do I not exist? Wait...
I specialized in Medieval history, specifically the history of thought. It was fun. Useless, ultimately, but fun. Especially while I was in Wales. It's one thing to sit through a lecture in a lecture hall in Canada, and another to wander around inside Medieval castles and manor houses with a wild imagination. That was fun. Am I a geek? I think I'm a geek. The older I get the more I realize that I'm a geek.
...I'm O.K. with that.
We're off topic again, Xrayman. And it's all your fault...
Brigid
It reminds me of the 3 Great Commandments of Jesus, compiled from the Summary of the Law and Commandments (Mark 12:28ff) and from the Sermon on the Mount (Matt 5:44f):
Neat Stuff to think about, but it'd take a very brave soul to put oneself on the line like that! Thanks, Brigid!
Nirvana
---
Yea sorry I didn't use quotes. I meant to, (isn't that what Buddha taught, Right Intention?)
I love it when I can get out of the sh** by using someone elses words! hahaha
"Love thy neighbour as yourself" quote, Nirvy.
I tried this one day, and he called me sick and perverted....
regards,
X
You're sick.
Me likey
-bf
Useless? Useless? Oh no, Brigid. I think you'e pulling our legs. Mediaeval history has such lessons for us, particularlt around hate.
The first time I walked into Caenarfon Castle, the hair stood up on my neck. This was just such and angry and hurting place. Nowhere more than that attempt at a Byzantine castle at the 'edge opf the world' brought home to me wht England had done to Wales - and how Wales had hunkered down and survived.
Thre is the suggestion, in both the Christian and Buddhist texts, that mlice and hatred are best met with meekness and compassion. In this way, their venom is drawn. Time after time we hear tales of people whose lives are turned around by the gentle response they receive in answer to extreme actions of hatred. Genuine foregiveness can be genuinely healing. Isn't that, after all, the 'human' and psychological message that Jesus tried to teach: w heal by forgiving first! Compassion is not a quid pro quo.
Also, of course, the whole battle between Church and State dates from the Middle Ages. How can we understand the importance of the despoiling of Thomas Becket's shrine in Canterbury Cathedral by Henry VIII, whereas other shrines, such as that of Edward II in Gloucester were left alone? How can we begin to understand the cultural difference between Japan and Europe unless we understand the crucial differences between our feudal systems?
Mediaeval history is only just 'over'. It was the first rebuilding after the tsunami that destroyed Rome. We are suffering the after-shocks and need to understand them. And what better place to go than one of the last truly ethical nations of the Gaelic fringe, Wales?
Wow, Simon. I'm about to start weeping. That was so beautiful. So true.
You're absolutely right, of course. My education was more than I give it credit for. I was just talking financially, I guess. But now that you've put it that beautiful way, and I remind myself that money is so meaningless, I have a much stronger gratitude for it. Thank you.
I know exactly what you mean when you talk about the hair standing up on your neck. I could feel it too. And the sadness in some places. And joy in others. I swear the history is visible and palpable in that beautiful place (Wales, I mean). I've never felt the same way anywhere else. I used to miss it more than a lost loved one. I would dream about just lying on green grass on the gentle slope of a hill, listening to the hoofbeats and footsteps echo. How I loved Wales! I can still smell it, you know.
Thanks Simon.
Brigid
Nirvana,
Thanks for your kind words. I find it prayerful as well. I think you have a great sense of it.
Brigid