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so the flip side of karma, in my mind
So this is not based on anything but my own thoughts and experiences. So one side of karma says that we have hard experiences because we did something to 'earn' them. Then the other side as I see it is that we choose some things in our lives to make us grow and experience. The first thought acgetr feedbtually spurred a pretty dark depression for me once so even if it is valid that I have done and will do things wrong or unskillfully I have to try to not dwell on them. Not excuse my actions or justify but simply let them go after making what amends I can.
The other idea of us choosing things that help us grow is good, until I get darn sick of being so growth oriented and wise. I get feedback from others that I would not see in myself but I guess I have to believe it (I have a fairly decent BS detector). There are just days when I am not sure what darn good it is even if I am growing and wise and all that happy crap (not that it makes you happy). Okay there is something good about this I know, I have this great self awareness and all. Well not that many people do and i relate to not that many people as a result. Really I understand why folks become hermits! Sometimes this growth and wiseness just seems like another mental construct to tear down with everything else, I am pretty sure about that.
In any case those are some tired ramblings that may not make much sense, but it appeals to me right now
The other idea of us choosing things that help us grow is good, until I get darn sick of being so growth oriented and wise. I get feedback from others that I would not see in myself but I guess I have to believe it (I have a fairly decent BS detector). There are just days when I am not sure what darn good it is even if I am growing and wise and all that happy crap (not that it makes you happy). Okay there is something good about this I know, I have this great self awareness and all. Well not that many people do and i relate to not that many people as a result. Really I understand why folks become hermits! Sometimes this growth and wiseness just seems like another mental construct to tear down with everything else, I am pretty sure about that.
In any case those are some tired ramblings that may not make much sense, but it appeals to me right now
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