Perfectionism

ClayTheScribe

So now that I am more awake and aware of the world around me, I'm starting to see more clearly people's imperfections and being a perfectionist myself, they bother me. I try to be mindful of my speech and my actions to keep my opinions to myself, but the imperfections, especially those about myself, sometimes gnaw at me. What are some steps down the Buddhist path I could take to overcome my perfectionism?

devwil

One of the very earliest insights I had in my time meditating and studying Buddhism was a very simple one, but one that is quite possibly the single most profound thing I've learned in my life.

Everything is as it should be.

It's really quite egotistical to suggest otherwise. You're perceiving the universe as imperfect because of your own prejudices. The present moment is really quite flawless, otherwise it'd surely be some other way (which would be flawless as well)!

If the tree down the street was meant to be six inches taller, it would be. Maybe it is, in another universe! Both are perfect!

Sure, this all may seem quite absurd, but even more absurd is to suggest that the universe could somehow make a mistake. The only mistakes I ever perceive when I'm thinking clearly are that people are often keeping themselves from being truly happy. In that case, scolding and looking down your nose don't do anybody any good. If you can be helpful without being abrasive, do so. Otherwise, just wish them well.

All of this is quite compatible with my understanding of Buddhism. I may have misinterpreted something along the way, but this is what I think.

Dakini

Perfectionism is a form of clinging, a form of attachment to view. And I agree with devwil--ego enters into it. Metta meditation can help, but also: be aware of your own flaws. None of us is perfect, so we're not in a position to judge others. Cut others slack just as you would like them to do the same with you when you make errors.

ClayTheScribe

Thanks. I actually think I'm getting to a place where I'm able to appreciate people's imperfections. It's just since I've raised my awareness it's like whoa and I had to meet that beast that is perfectionism in me. I'm actually pretty forgiving of other people's imperfections, just not as much my own, but I'm working on that. That "everything as it should be" is admittedly something I'm still trying to grasp. I tend to be an everything happens for a reason person, but sometimes I get caught up in my anger of how things are wrong rather than just accepting them as they are. I will get there.