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Existential depression

prettyhowtownprettyhowtown
edited September 2011 in Buddhism Basics
Yeah, so I'm going through the realization of the emptiness of everything, and am... manifesting... depression. :/
I feel like crying and singing a lot. This is different from other kinds of depression in that I seem to be able to still reach out in love to others (perhaps even more than before), but I feel quite sad at the same time.

Anybody have some tips for this? Any readings or practical advice?

Comments

  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    Dont interpret just feel in your body the spaciousness. Don't project and don't intellectualize. Just see what is here, feel it and allow it. Whatever appears or is expressed is just what is. Keep surrender/accepting what is. Rest in being. Rest in pure awareness. Listen to the silence between the thoughts. Follow where all arisen forms go to!
  • newtechnewtech Veteran
    Hello:

    Just stop going in that way, smile all day.
    Thats not how "emptiness" is realized in buddhism.

    http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.121.than.html

    With Metta.

  • riverflowriverflow Veteran
    Emptiness is the actual basis for compassion in the fullest possible sense. I am not sure why you feel depressed, but certainly I feel a certain wisfulness, an awareness of impermanence at times. I don't think of this as depression, and I don't normally try to resist this wistful awareness when it comes on. Just sit with it and realise that it is from this growing lucidity that compassion grows and spreads, like Kannon's arms.

    p.s. BTW nice e.e. cummings reference...
  • prettyhowtownprettyhowtown
    Emptiness is the actual basis for compassion in the fullest possible sense. I am not sure why you feel depressed, but certainly I feel a certain wisfulness, an awareness of impermanence at times. I don't think of this as depression, and I don't normally try to resist this wistful awareness when it comes on. Just sit with it and realise that it is from this growing lucidity that compassion grows and spreads, like Kannon's arms.

    p.s. BTW nice e.e. cummings reference...
    Maybe wistfulness is a better term. It seems like depression because I am having such a hard time pulling myself back in to the present moment, and being around people who are doing/talking about superficial things is really draining. As I said, I feel like crying and am not sure if it's the right thing to do. I guess what I need to do is work on mindfulness.

    And thanks. :)
  • riverflowriverflow Veteran
    http://sensitivitytothings.com/2008/07/25/mono-no-aware-beauty-in-japan/
  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    Do you have a solid and consistent meditation practice?
  • prettyhowtownprettyhowtown
    Do you have a solid and consistent meditation practice?
    Yep, though I admit the last few days I have not been practicing like I should. After writing the original post I went and did metta meditation for 20 minutes and felt better.
  • vixthenomadvixthenomad
    Maybe it's something akin to a grieving process. After all, you've spent most of your life believing in 'non-emptiness' for want of a better words and now, in a way, you've experienced bereavement from the previous mindset. But don't quote me on that, I'm certainly no expert in these things!
  • prettyhowtownprettyhowtown
    Maybe it's something akin to a grieving process. After all, you've spent most of your life believing in 'non-emptiness' for want of a better words and now, in a way, you've experienced bereavement from the previous mindset. But don't quote me on that, I'm certainly no expert in these things!
    I think that's pretty close to the truth. I think it is unrealistic to assume that the understanding of emptiness would be either devoid of emotion or jovial or anything in particular at all. There is... goodness... in this, because my previous compassion (which was substantial to begin with) is compounding. So, I'm not afraid of the direction in which I'm heading. I just need to accept it, maybe, and let people think what they will about the process I am experiencing.

    *hugs*

    Thank you. :)
  • vixthenomadvixthenomad
    You're welcome - it's nice to be able to help!
  • Mr_SerenityMr_Serenity Veteran
    Whenever I am feeling depressed I listen to Ajahn Brahm on youtube. If you haven't heard his talks yet you should. They always tend to cheer me up even just a bit. Do things you enjoy too. Make a list of things you appreciate, things that make you happy. Those things are usually connected to your soul.

    When you are down it's good to look back at those things and maybe spending some time with them will help bring you up again.
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited September 2011
    Maybe it's something akin to a grieving process. After all, you've spent most of your life believing in 'non-emptiness' for want of a better words and now, in a way, you've experienced bereavement from the previous mindset.
    I think that's pretty close to the truth.
    I agree here, also

    To me, what is being experienced is a transitional saddness

    The more emptiness is realised, the more saddness will diminish and the more compassion, liberation & clarity will grow

    Kind regards :)

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