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a door slam
So this term, a door slam, is used in a group I have belonged to in order to describe our personality style and how we seem so nice and gentle but when someone crosses a line then we can do a total 'door slam' much to their surprise. I know from talking to others and my own experience that we mostly feel that we have been trying to get a point across and the other person is not truly listening. I am not sure how this relates to any Buddhist principle, I think I have done less of these as I become more aware of my emotions over time and deal with them earlier however I just did one and I am struggling with it. Basically a friend crossed a boundary with me and I am really not ok with it. there was a lot of evidence that this is where it was going but I just didnt want to deal with it or didn't really know how. I am not sure there was anyway to get my point across without saying 'how you see things is not anything I can accept or condone'. There is no way to say that without a judgement, but when it crosses from their business into mine then there is room for judgement.
I know they won't totally understand, I want to feel safe again and there is nothing that says I should be so compassionate that I don't feel safe. And I don't feel I can trust my compassionate nature. This is not the first time I just misjudged and got hurt. Yet it is part of the shift where I care about myself more than others feelings. What is the idea on the karma of being naive and then shutting the door totally on someone? If it is all intention then I am okay I think, my only intention right now is to stop appearing to be okay with their actions.
I know they won't totally understand, I want to feel safe again and there is nothing that says I should be so compassionate that I don't feel safe. And I don't feel I can trust my compassionate nature. This is not the first time I just misjudged and got hurt. Yet it is part of the shift where I care about myself more than others feelings. What is the idea on the karma of being naive and then shutting the door totally on someone? If it is all intention then I am okay I think, my only intention right now is to stop appearing to be okay with their actions.
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