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Frozen by Nonexpectation
Yishai
Veteran
In buddhism, we are told that we should not expect things to be different than they are because this causes suffering. Only by accepting the present do we finally end the suffering of expectation.
As a layperson, how can we shed expectation? Expectation drives us to set goals. We strive to improve our current life standing, perhaps to better provide for ourselves. Without setting a goal to work toward, we cannot progress toward it. You must first set your sights on where you want to be. How can we lose expectation and not be paralyzed into a stagnant life. You'd no longer want to go out with friends and have a good time because you're perfectly content in your present situation. There is no reason to move beyond this. No reason to move at all. ????
Don't we always need to think one step ahead to move into the future? By thinking one step ahead, don't we make an expectation of what that future is?
As a layperson, how can we shed expectation? Expectation drives us to set goals. We strive to improve our current life standing, perhaps to better provide for ourselves. Without setting a goal to work toward, we cannot progress toward it. You must first set your sights on where you want to be. How can we lose expectation and not be paralyzed into a stagnant life. You'd no longer want to go out with friends and have a good time because you're perfectly content in your present situation. There is no reason to move beyond this. No reason to move at all. ????
Don't we always need to think one step ahead to move into the future? By thinking one step ahead, don't we make an expectation of what that future is?
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Comments
because if you're not accepting then you're reacting and that creates more problems even though you think you're doing the right thing. you have to always come from "no stance" which is a total acceptance of what is.
this isn't pacifism. in actuality it is complete action moment to moment. one who does not hold onto anything allows everything to enter and leave. those who grasp hold on and cause many problems.
if there is something obvious you can do, then the natural way is to do it. contentment is important and should be cultivated first, then when you overflow you can help people.
but to contradict with everything i am saying. sometimes it is better to fake it. sometimes we aren't content thus we take the bodhisattva vows and aim to awaken. morality and compassionate action create the right soil for our bodhi mind to awaken.
but anyways. first totally accept. this is done by being in total consciousness. the act of seeing is in itself unconditional acceptance. from there if the house is burning, then we run out of the house. or if someone is hungry, we feed them.
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"Somebody comes into the Zen Center with a lighted cigarette, walks up to the Buddha-statue, blows smoke in its face and drops ashes on its lap. You are standing there. What can you do?
"This person has understood that nothing is holy or unholy. All things in the universe are one, and that one is himself. So everything is permitted. Ashes are Buddha; Buddha is ashes. The cigarette flicks. The ashes drop.
"But his understanding is only partial. He has not yet understood that all things are just as they are. Holy is holy; unholy is unholy. Ashes are ashes; Buddha is Buddha. He is very attached to emptiness and to his own understanding, and he thinks that all words are useless. So whatever you say to him, however you try to teach him, he will hit you. If you try to teach by hitting him back, he will hit you even harder. (He is very strong.)
"How can you cure his delusion?
"Since you are a Zen student, you are also a Zen teacher. You are walking on the path of the Bodhisattva, whose vow is to save all beings from their suffering. This person is suffering from a mistaken view. You must help him understand the truth: that all things in the universe are just as they are.
"How can you do this?
"If you find the answer to this problem, you will find the true way."
-Seung Sahn
everything arises like a bubble. it comes and goes. we can grasp all we want, but nothing is actually graspable. all things are constantly in flux, whether good or bad, blissful or painful. with awareness we see clearly into the obvious.
the obvious is what the buddha described. he didn't speak from abstraction. he spoke from direct experience. thus we directly experience everything he has taught.
in being we can be totally receptive to what is. being is just allowing of all to arise and fall. watch all things. the watching itself is being. from there we stand in the neutral positive and from the spacious quality of being we can learn to respond to things rather than react. we can see clearly into the nature of ourselves and reality. that seeing itself is wisdom and such wisdom naturally breeds and expresses itself as compassion.
unless we are holding on. even to hold onto doing good will cause problems. move beyond both then clear action will arises naturally.
not sure this helps. but hope you find something of use. to be is not hard or easy. it is just your natural state when you are in relaxation. when you are open. when you are free. just accept what is. surrender. don't push or pull.
@Yishai i think the point is to function based on the clarity we aquire from a buddhist practice. Currently, I simply try to not cling to my expectations and desires or to the suffering I experience when they aren't met.
that is freedom, do you not see it?
It seems like the way to be happy is that we should not do anything. Eat, sleep, pay the bills. Do not try to change anything because we should not expect it to be different.
but in the spirit of buddhism lets repeat it again.
accept suffering and you have freedom.
when someone doesn't care for either winning or losing such a person always wins.
from the acceptance, you see clearly into what is. from seeing clearly IF not attached to this seeing, one can realize that all is what it is. suffering is suffering. compassion is compassion. the grass is GREEN. the sky is BLUE. sure it is all empty, but that shouldn't breed indifference.
indifference is negative. acceptance is positive. both are the same energy. one comes from a vast understanding of how reality functions and the other out of ignorance.
you can desire, expect, intend all you want to. as long as you understand and realize that it is all empty. as long as you see clearly. from that you can do what is right and what is right will happen naturally. even paying the bills or eating a sandwich.
I AM HUNGRY, so i eat. i am thirsty, so i drink.
i am HAPPY. so i feel happiness fully then SINCE I DON'T HOLD OR CLING TO IT. happiness comes and it goes naturally like all things.
everything has the same natural process. coming and going. when we don't cling we are utterly free. sure we all want to be happy and that is a desire, but such desire should be see through with wisdom, which is clear seeing. true happiness comes from contentment, which is total being. but even when being we must pay bills and live in this world. if we are truly being then there is no difference between movement and no movement. all is empty and all is free already.
but be utterly hopeless!
then we accept what is.
then we desire with wisdom, compassion, love, peace.
desire is not the problem. it is grasping.
but yes there are good desires. the desire to free yourself and others from suffering. the desire to help others. the desire to feed your family and friends. the desire to be happy and to share such happiness with others.
desire all you want. it is a natural phenomena. but do not add to it, and do not cling. that is why it is very important to see clearly.
Ta-Mei, on his deathbed, said: "When it comes, don’t try to to avoid it; when it goes, don’t run after it. There is only this, and nothing else."
The "This" spoken of here though is not a sort of nihilism however. We don't like "This"-- instead, we do cling to certain things, and we try to push other things away. Rather than being here and now, we live with delusions of how we want things to be-- and to remain that way always. We rarely ever get to know "This" because we are too occupied chasing after illusions.
Like Dogen often liked to say, "There is nothing extra."
"The problem is that we actually are incapable of seeing zazen as useless because our minds can’t accept the fundamental genuineness and all-rightness of our lives. We are actually very resistant to this reality. We hate it because it is too simple and we persistently think we need more. This is not a detail or a quirk of our minds; it is not even a habit really; it is the deep nature of our minds. The Sanskrit word for consciousness is vijnana, which means to divide, or to cut. In order for us to have what we call experience we have to divide or cut reality. Genuineness or all-rightness is wholeness, indivisibility, so it can’t be an experience."
~ “A Coin in the River Is Found in the River” (from The Art of Sitting by John Daido Loori)
A child is crying what do you do?
True, lasting happiness comes from perceiving and reacting to our world from a positive perspective, disassociating from our egos, feeling gratitude for everything in our lives, and cultivating tolerance and compassion for others. Only then can we experience total peace and joy within ourselves"
Comment from a terminally ill patient