I find mindfulness in everyday life tiring and overwhelming!

DaltheJigsaw

Hello all again,
When trying to be mindful in everyday life sometimes I get overwhelmed by stimuli or situations and it all gets very tiring and unpleasant.
For example - when I'm driving down the freeway, i try to concentrate on my driving (like any responsible person should do). However, being a boring and well known road, my mind wanders off and I start listening to the music or recollecting past events, like i used to before being interested in buddhism. I make an effort to concentrate back on my driving, I stay mindful for a time then I drift off again. At the end of the road, I am more tired than I used to be before I tried "practising" mindfullness.
Another example happened today at the beach - I tried to stay mindful and I felt my toes in the sand, the sun on my skin and heard the sea in the background. It was great. For 2 minutes. Then the idle chatter of the girls behind me, the popcorn salesman walking by, the jetski in the distance, it felt like an overload and my head started hurting (Oh, and i get headaches way more often than before..)
Before i started studying Buddhism, I was quite a day dreamer, my mind wandered off very quickly either to past or to future hypotethical situations and I had troubles staying focused.
After studying and practising, I find much more joy and calm in "being here now", yet sometimes I get overwhelmed by the effort. I can't go back to the old wandering ways but, at the moment, I'm out of my comfort zone.
I'm a beginner and I know i still have a long road in front of me and maybe these problems will go away through study and meditation, but I thought of asking you for help.
Also, I'd love to read more about incorporating the buddhist way in day to day modern life so if you have any books, stories or recommandations bring them!
Thank you friends for your time and effort!


http://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/kb4r0/i_find_mindfulness_in_everyday_life_tiring_and/

LightOfFlower

I am reading "The Feeling Buddha". It's a wonderful book. My suggestion.

DaltheJigsaw

Thank you!

ravkes

I mean, that's what the mind does dude.

It's really hard to concentrate at all times, your mind needs to rest.

Let it do what it wants to do or take over if you really feel that you have to, doesn't really matter all that much.

bravehawk

yes, it great to let the mind wander, it's just the question, where do you want you mind to wander, and what backlash or stimuli do you want to recieve in return? I know I fall victim of living in the future moments ad stressing out about things that dont exist yet. My conculusion is to keep your mind, one foot in, one foot out. Worry about you state of being now, and all the things attached with it, and try tackle that before you try and tackle a future scenario/stress that hasnt yet. In the long run, If you can do that, you will have more energy and less of the anxiety/mental fatigue you cause yourself.

GuyC

Hi Leon,

It sounds like you might be trying too hard to be mindful. It is natural for beginners to bounce around between too much effort and too little effort. Right Effort is a skill which is to be developed over time, with patience.

It is good that you notice that you are more tired as a result of trying to be mindful: This, to me, indicates that you may be trying to hard. Mindfulness should increase the mind's energy, not deplete it.

Also, don't have lofty expectations. We are lay people, living a busy life, it is natural for our minds to get scattered in a million different directions. Sometimes the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves can be the biggest obstacles in our practice.

As Ajahn Chah said: "Try to be mindful and let things take their natural course."

Metta,

Guy

buddhajunkie

The goal isn't to be mindful. The goal is to be skillful. Mindfulness is a means to achieve that.

Letting your mind wander when you're driving or at the beach is fine, as long is it is not unskillful wandering.

Practicing mindfulness on the meditation cushion, and occasionally off the cushion, should be enough to increase your skillfulness throughout the day. Mindfulness will arise spontaneously as you are better able to perceive unskillful thoughts without trying.

When you have developed mindfulness on the cushion it will act like a computer virus scan, running in the background as you go about your normal life. "Warning: Greed and attachment has arisen!" Then you can deal with it wisely. Then you can go back to enjoying the beach without trying hard.

Tosh

Good post, Leon, and I can strongly identify with the way you practise, 'cos it's exactly the same as mine. I just do it when I remember to do it; though it doesn't make me tired, I don't think. But when I am tired, my mindfulness is out the window.

I guess I had high expectations of mindfulness, being a reader of The Power of Now.

Mountains

I guess I had high expectations of mindfulness, being a reader of The Power of Now.

Ah, there's the rub.... expectations. Another word for attachments. You were (are) attached to a specific outcome, so pretty much by definition set yourself up for disappointment unless everything had gone exactly the way you envisioned it.

SeaOfTranquility

Mindfulness is patient, open, non-judgemental awareness.

If you are finding it tiring or over whelming you are probably just trying too hard. Let go of that too.
As with meditation on the cushion, mindfulness should not be a battle between awareness and the attachments to your wandering mind.

To whatever extent you are mindful, you become a relaxed witness to what is going on inside and out, and you are freed from being constantly and continuously affected by all your mental activity and by all your judgements.

Keep practicing.

Best Wishes

Tosh

I guess I had high expectations of mindfulness, being a reader of The Power of Now.

Ah, there's the rub.... expectations. Another word for attachments. You were (are) attached to a specific outcome, so pretty much by definition set yourself up for disappointment unless everything had gone exactly the way you envisioned it.

Said in the petulant tone of a teenager...

"I know that!"