Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Not having a good week... how to deal with stress and frustration?
Guess I'm just looking to vent and seek some advice here.
I'm in a graduate program and I'm did pretty bad in my exam this week, so now I'm near-failing the class. I must do well on the final next week to pass this class. The pressure is heavy.
I was late to a certification class that my school sponsored for. I was only 4 minutes late and they would not let me in. Now, I have to come back in my own time and pay $30 to take the class.
I rear-ended someone on the way to school. I got a ticket and have to go to court. It also made me late on my exam.
My parents are struggling with their business. I may have to take out extra loan for "school" to help them with their mortgage payments.
Just found out that the girl I was in "love" with for past 2 years got a boyfriend. I probably have no chance now.
I know there are people in worse situation than me. But, this week has not been going well. Feeling good bit of anger and frustration. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
I'm in a graduate program and I'm did pretty bad in my exam this week, so now I'm near-failing the class. I must do well on the final next week to pass this class. The pressure is heavy.
I was late to a certification class that my school sponsored for. I was only 4 minutes late and they would not let me in. Now, I have to come back in my own time and pay $30 to take the class.
I rear-ended someone on the way to school. I got a ticket and have to go to court. It also made me late on my exam.
My parents are struggling with their business. I may have to take out extra loan for "school" to help them with their mortgage payments.
Just found out that the girl I was in "love" with for past 2 years got a boyfriend. I probably have no chance now.
I know there are people in worse situation than me. But, this week has not been going well. Feeling good bit of anger and frustration. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
0
Comments
Last night and the following day I had a couple situations unexpectedly arise-- things which normally would've really upset me. No need to go into details (its a long story anyway), but it took several hours and a few hundred dollars I hadn't planned on spending. These were things that really were beyond my control, but I had no choice but to deal with them. Still, my response surprised me because normally I would be mentally resisting these situations the entire time, only exacerbating the problem. Normally I'd be cursing and swearing and complaining and stressing myself out.
Later that afternoon, I was still reflecting on how I was dealing with the situation in such a detached way (which is not the same as being merely apathetic, I simply did what needed to be done). The thought occurred to me that no matter how I dealt with the situation in my mind, things were still going to be they were. But instead I dealt with it without pouring mental salt on the wound so to speak. That's all frustration and anger is: resistance to the reality that's in front of you right here and now. Instead I dealt with the problem with clarity.
The past two days, in spite of what happened, were actually good days.
It reminded me of the movie Groundhog Day, where we see this process take place repeatedly. The events repeat-- the only thing that is different is a variety of reactions against that reality.
There are some things that will just happen, but you can either resist those things or you can deal with them with a clear mind. This isn't something I could've done without the meditation and study I've been doing. Its a skill I'm still only beginning to learn myself.
But I would bear in mind that anger, frustration and stress only cloud the situation and make things worse.
One day a farmer’s horse runs away. The neighbors, hearing the news, come by to commiserate with the farmer. “What bad luck,” they say. “Maybe so,” responds the farmer.
Soon after, the horse returns with two other wild horses. The neighbors, hearing the news, come by to congratulate the farmer. “What good luck,” they say. “Maybe so,” says the farmer.
The next day, the farmer’s son falls and breaks his leg while trying to tame one of the wild horses. The neighbors, hearing the news, come by to commiserate with the farmer. “What bad luck,” they say. “Maybe so,” says the farmer.
The following week, the army passes through the village enlisting all the young men to fight a battle in which they will likely perish. Because the farmer’s son is immobile due to the broken leg, he is left behind. Though the villagers are grieved at the potential loss of their own sons, they say to the farmer, “what good luck for you.” The farmer simply replies, “maybe so.”
Had it the worst in my life like two months ago. Nearly failed two big exams ( the baccalaureate, after finishing high-school, and the Medicine School Entry Exam) resulting in a really biiig sadness.I failed to enter Medicine School on the state-funded seats (the tax is huuuge ), so I tried my luck at Veterinary School, and again, I was disappointed to find out that I didn't end up on the state-funded seats, but in this case, the tax is bearable. The lucky shot here, is that I have to get straight A's for a year to advance to state-funded seats.
But, in this time, after being scolded over and over by my parents who are also disappointed, I've learned two things : 1. accept the situation as it is for the moment, and wait for a change, even the smallest ( be it outside your mind, or inside your mind); 2. prioritizing things is essential, meaning that, I should put the really urgent matters on the top of the list, and try to solve them as quick as possible.
My advice (not buddhist like) : If you can't go through the door, try through the window.
My best to you,
Todd
You're trying your best to be a good person, to do the right thing in life, you can't do anything more than that. Bad things happen to everyone. Perhaps some bad things are the result of old kamma, perhaps some are just a case of "s**t happening". Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter, we still have an opportunity to make good kamma in the present moment by trying our best to be patient, to be kind, to be gentle and to make peace. By making good kamma in the present moment you are creating the causes for future peace and happiness.
This too will pass.
Metta,
Guy
imo, some thing are within your control and some things are not within your control
the girl, the accident & the world economy are not within your control. the girl has her own mind, accidents often happen & the corporate elite control the fortunes of the world economy
but your exam is within your control. if your prepare & study sufficiently, it should be within your control
so my suggestion is to distinguish in your mind what is within your control & what is not
just because the events beyond your control have not worked out, this does not mean the events within your control will fail
they are two different situations; two different beasts
therefore if you have prepared sufficiently for your exam, reflect & generate confidence in your mind: "I have prepared sufficiently for this exam. It follows, I will succeed"
May you succeed
May you & your family be well
Kind regards
DD