What can buddhism say to help me with my chronical sense of apathy?

Epicurus

I'm a pretty smart guy. I'm interested in stuff like psychology, philosophy, videogames, music and cinema...I used to thrive on chatting with like-minded people until I found out most of them weren't really like-minded. I'm almost 25 now.

I quit college because I decided I didn't want a computer major anymore. I tried three different jobs (and quit them all after 3 months each because, although I enjoyed them well enough for what they were, I couldn't stand them anymore after a certain period since they weren't that interesting) since then. I travelled to the US for 3 months too lol. I HAVE been dealing with a medical condition on and off for a while now but....I think I finally discovered the most pertinent question about my life. I used to think it was "what do I want to do?" but now I realize it's "WHY don't I ever want to do anything??"

I spend a lot of time at home since I was a kid...and I always have a lot of ways of distracting myself, but it's always in a semi-passive way, either by surfing online or playing a game or whatever. I never have an immediate urge to do anything PRODUCTIVE ever since I was a child. I don't want success, I don't have big goals...I don't feel like DOING anything most of the time. I never had a personal project per se...not even finishing a drawing....so I never finished anything. But the problem isn't really with finishing things....it's a problem of motivation. I don't feel like achieving anything or doing something productive with my time and it's starting to bother me quite a bit.

Things that in my mind sort of sound cool in theory, like making music, or this or that....I never really fell that I REALLY want to do them. Does buddhism say anything about the state of apathy or whatever this is? When I'm hardpressed to do something I can do stuff, no problem....but out of my own volition....it's so rare...

Thoughts?

lightwithin

I have no good advice for you, sorry, but I wanted to say I'm basically in the very same situation and I'd love to hear some thoughts from the ppl here about it.

betaboy

Very good topic, since I suspect most people (myself included) are in the same boat - not feeling enough inspiration to do anything. Everything feels meaningless and futile.

Mountains

I'm not sure Buddhism has the answer you're looking for, although certainly it can help to focus the mind. What you're describing is basically not knowing what you want to be when you grow up Been there, done that. I'm currently working on career #6 (or so) at age 49. It's clear to me from your words that you haven't found your passion. When you do, the apathy will fall away on its own.

Meantime, meditate...

Mr_Serenity

I myself have searched for the Buddhist opinion on this matter. But I have noticed Buddhism doesn't talk too much about building inspiration, and about creating a better life for yourself.

So I do look other places for building inspiration. Instead this is what I do to gather inspiration. This was taught to me by a Law of Attraction teacher known as Ray Doktor (he is on youtube too) he is also a psychologist. I go to his talks on Law of Attraction whenever I can.

He says to think about the top 7 things in your life that bring you happiness. For almost everyone there has to be 7 things that they want. That bring them happiness experiencing those things, or thinking about those things, or even pursuing those things.

Think about these things you truly enjoy, because they're connected to your soul. Now think about what you would be doing if you were not forced to work. What would you enjoy to do the most in your daily life if you had no other obligations. Maybe it's sitting on the couch watching tv, or going out with a hot date. If it is something like that, that should give you inspiration.

Money is needed to do those things. It doesn't always have to be as simple as pursuing money too. If one enjoys fishing a lot, maybe for them working as a fisherman would be worth more than the money. So what inspires someone is very personal.

I personally love to work out. I love to read graphic novels, and I love sex. They're all sort of connected for me. I work out to look good, to try and get more sex. I read graphic novels because I enjoy them, and they inspire me to look like those buffed out tough guys in graphic novels, so they help me stay committed to my work outs. Then I try and make money because that pays for all those things I want.

So these are just some of the things that inspire me. And really our passions can change with time too, it just takes a lot of experience to see what we enjoy the most. One just has to look deep within them and find what makes them content. It's in there somewhere. Life is a journey. Whether we finish something or not, it is still part of our growing process that makes us wiser, and more intelligent. We learn and grow from experience.

Jeffrey

What you resist persists. Go full force with your apathy.

Yishai

Buddhists typically aim to become completely satisfied with everything as it is. After we do that, we can properly see why we do the things we do. You might find that, before, you would act in such a way to bring some sort of satisfaction or distraction from dissatisfaction, but now it is no longer needed. Then you can act compassionately and wisely.

You're grasping at distractions. The occasional game here and job there are only distracting you from how dissatisfied you are with your life. This is dukkha, and that is probably the most important step in the Buddhist path, the realizaton of dukkha. If we can't recognize our own dissatisfaction or suffering, we won't walk the path.

I would say "find something that fulfills you, something you are passionate for". That's all well and good, but even that passion won't be able to bring you fulfillment 24/7/365. You can try to build a mansion on a crumbling foundation, but that's just stupid. You need to come from a place of stability first and foremost.

But then again, what do I know?

Tosh

When we're really self centred, it creates a lot of problems for us. We place our own happiness above everyone else's happiness; we think we're the most important person there is, and paradoxically this makes us miserable. I took it to the extreme, became an alcoholic and just wanted to die.

But when we practise compassion - helping others in need - we become less self centred, life gets better and has meaning.

Take it or leave it!

driedleaf

Inspirations last even longer if they come from within IMO.

aMatt

Epicurus,

I can understand the difficulty in staying motivated, and the apathy that arises when we feel stuck. We have the sense that we could be accomplishing something, but there is also a sense of "who cares" or "meh" that arises along side it. It is pretty common to feel that way.

Consider doing some charity work; nothing cures apathy quite like intentioned generosity. Perhaps there's been a little too much self-centric action?

With warmth,

Matt

Hubris

Wow @Epicurus, you pretty much summed up my life too. I am 47, and I think because of so much failure in my life I just do not care to try anymore. It's long and sordid, my life, and now I am at a crossroad. I have no energy to do anything, no motivation, and a lot of fear.

One kindness I did for myself was to stop comparing myself to others my age who have so much more than me, as it did me no good, and I realized that we all have our niche in life with something to contribute.

maarten

Hi Epicurus, in case that your sense of apathy is a form of suffering, you could use that suffering as motivation to end apathy (since nobody wants to suffer). In that case, you would at least have one motivation already. You could then try opening up to a source of help in your surroundings. Someone that IS naturally inspired to be active in life can serve as an inspiration. Just ask yourself: what could I learn from this person? What small thing that he/she is doing could I also do myself? Or maybe start looking for opportunities where you can do someone a small favor, that could give some interesting outcomes already.

seeker242

You have apathy because you don't have a strong and dedicated meditation practice. If you had a strong meditation practice, you would have unlimited amounts of energy to do anything. But instead, this energy is being all used up by engaging in avoidance behaviors like surfing online or playing a game or whatever. You spend all your energy distracting yourself and you have none left over for anything else


As far as what Buddhist scriptures have to say, that is here:

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/nyanaponika/wheel026.html#sloth

ddrishi

From my personal experience I can say that strong meditational practice takes us to a new world altogether in many ways. I agree with seeker242.

Brian

Your symptoms sound medical in nature, not existential or philosophical. The brand of apathy you describe sounds suspiciously like clinical depression. Have you talked to a doctor about this?

MindGate

Buddhists typically aim to become completely satisfied with everything as it is. After we do that, we can properly see why we do the things we do. You might find that, before, you would act in such a way to bring some sort of satisfaction or distraction from dissatisfaction, but now it is no longer needed. Then you can act compassionately and wisely.

You're grasping at distractions. The occasional game here and job there are only distracting you from how dissatisfied you are with your life. This is dukkha, and that is probably the most important step in the Buddhist path, the realizaton of dukkha. If we can't recognize our own dissatisfaction or suffering, we won't walk the path.

I would say "find something that fulfills you, something you are passionate for". That's all well and good, but even that passion won't be able to bring you fulfillment 24/7/365. You can try to build a mansion on a crumbling foundation, but that's just stupid. You need to come from a place of stability first and foremost.

But then again, what do I know?

Excellent.

charirama

I would agree with Brian and suggest you see a doctor or counselor to rule out depression or get treatment for it if necessary.

Then you may find your practice to be easier and more fulfilling.

Yishai

I would agree with Brian and suggest you see a doctor or counselor to rule out depression or get treatment for it if necessary.

Then you may find your practice to be easier and more fulfilling.

Absolutely. Buddhism is no substitute for therapy from a professional. At least, in my opinion.

taiyaki

death meditation. meditate and contemplate about death. the fact that you are going to die. don't worry about other people. worry about yourself.

slowly all the bullshit in your life will fall away. you'll start being happier and prioritize.

need motivation? too indifferent? practice death meditation. understand how fortunate you are to be living as a human right now.

Telly03

Maybe you will find this Alan Watts piece helpful

shanyin

same boat. I would try a dedicated medtation practice b4 you talk to a doct

death meditation. meditate and contemplate about death. the fact that you are going to die. don't worry about other people. worry about yourself.

slowly all the bullshit in your life will fall away. you'll start being happier and prioritize.

need motivation? too indifferent? practice death meditation. understand how fortunate you are to be living as a human right now.

Agreed. I practiced death meditation for a while and that's what it was like for me and I even told my friends about it. I'm glad he postedt his.

I ask myself what have I really learned useful about meditation. Sometimes it hits me that I have to do. it. everyday. That is like #1 thing for me to remember that I tell myself and I feel like I can stop trying to think of something.

ps. yeah I feel the same as many here with a sense of apathy.


Maybe find a Buddhist meditation teacher like a monk neawr you or travel and tell him about your situation and ask about death meditation.

Lots of good advice on this thread

Be well.

Fell

There is nothing wrong with you. You are simply bored with the boring things this wheel of samsara has to offer. Boredom and lack of motivation do not have to be labeled as "bad" things. They are simply feelings. You feel them and then they go away... and then they come back... and go away again. Recently I have had ZERO motivation to meditate (and meditation is very important to me). Guess what I did about it... NOTHING. I finally forced myself to meditate this evening and guess where where it got me. Yeah, you guessed it, sleeping on a tree stump in my back yard. Just roll with it, and remember that you (and this life you are living) are very insignificant in the grand scheme... no expectations... no pressure.