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sometimes I just get lonely when I can't sleep

Kimberly_NMKimberly_NM
edited April 2006 in Faith & Religion
Most of the time I feel like a stranger in a strange land.
I have had a tragic life but I do not give details of my life because people don't want to know or listen unless I pay for someone to hear me talk but the problem with that is they don't listen, they just watch the clock so I stay to myself and prefer to be around my animals then people! most people are hateful and at this time in my life I just can't deal with it anymore........
I use to give people the benefit of the doubt but I got so tired from being disappointed, I use to believe in the kindness of people but I grew up.
After being hurt way to many times I lost faith in human beings.
I love people but I am very shy and very sensitive so I stay to myself now and believe it or not doing so has given me a sense of inner peace!
This would we live in a very cruel place and god help us if we don't figure out a way to fix it.
I am moving soon and plan on joining a Unitarian church so slowly nudge myself out of my protective shell ! I am just so tired of being hurt and I have so many scares! Right now I just can’t make myself be around people, I guess it just not the time? I know suffering! I found Buddhism and it saved my life! it gave me the strength to carry on and that is what I plan on doing but sometimes I do get lonely! > Peace Kimberly

Comments

  • Kimberly_NMKimberly_NM
    edited February 2006
    I was just venting, feeling out loud and it felt good to do so > Peace Kimberly
  • hopehope
    edited February 2006
    Kimberly_NM wrote:
    I was just venting, feeling out loud and it felt good to do so > Peace Kimberly

    Dear Kimberly

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with everyone. For what it counts I also feel like you do many times. I could have written that same post :)

    I guess I'm not the only person who feels that way.

    But, to tell you the truth, I've found some people who are truly nice... Some friends, some family..

    Still, my pets will always be special to me, for they are always there when i need a hug...
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2006
    Kimberley and Hope: I don't believe either of you have ever encountered any hostility, aggression, unfriendliness or hatefulness, aimed at you, on this forum. Furthermore, whenever you've needed to express yourselves, there has always been someone there to listen and to respond in a friendly, compassionate, helpful way, without a personal hidden agenda...Nobody has ever asked for anything in return.....

    Hopefully you will continue to come in and post and talk and share, because here, we have all the time in the world..... :)
  • hopehope
    edited February 2006
    Dear Federica

    Of course I've never encountered any hostility here!! you guys are some of the nicest sweetest most tolerant people I've ever encountered. When I agreed with Kimberly.. I was just refering to life... what she said about lonlieness, and feeling like a stranger..

    Please... don't ever think I'm saying anything bad about you guys :) I like you all., and (I may have not said this earlier), but thank you, each and every one of you for sharing your thoughts with me, helping me learn, and I am honored to be here :)

    hugs..
    Hope
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2006
    I would never assume that, Hope. I was pointing out that no matter how much of a struggle life might be, and however many obstacles we might find in our way, this Sangha is a sanctuary. It's a refuge within the Refuge of the Triple Gem... The sangha within the Sangha.

    This is why, at the risk of trying to tenuously link two threads, Attempting to establish some House Rules is of some importance to me.
    Whilst I will always attempt to use my judgement and evaluation as soundly as I can, the serenity, peace and security of this forum, for its members, is one of the most important things that I wish to safeguard and preserve.
    There are some "troubled souls" out there who find solace and companionship "within" these virtual, 'e-walls.' There are unfortunately, also some troublesome souls who would introduce a bit of mischief and un-ease, and might relish the thought of upsetting the apple cart and starting a bit of controversy.
    Well, much as I really DO enjoy engaging and discussing, and sharing views and opinions - I would prefer to maintain the harmonious and peaceful atmosphere we all crave.
    I know a bit of stimulation and excitement is vital to life - but some of us get more than enough of that on the 'outside'. This place is a hallowed shelter from all of that.
    And I will do my very best to keep it that way for as long as I'm here. :)
  • hopehope
    edited February 2006
    Dear Federica

    Sincerely hope I fall into the category of troubled souls, not troublesome souls :)
    otherwise... thanks... I've learned a lot being here and I really appreciate you all!
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Kimberely,

    "sometimes I just get lonely when I can't sleep"

    I think we've all been there.

    Sometimes those quiet hours in the deep, dark night - make you feel like you're the only soul alive in the world.

    But you aren't - people that care about you are still out there. We're still out here! If we don't happen to respond when you're here, it's because we'd like for you to take a look at these feelings of loneliness. They're not bad - they are just feelings.

    They will pass.

    I'm not trying to sound cliche - but that you just don't look at them like the end of the world.

    If you can't embrace them at this time - just stop "watering these seeds of negativity" and find some "wholesome seeds (thoughts)" until these intense feelings of loneliness pass.

    Then we'll be here again :)

    -bf
  • Kimberly_NMKimberly_NM
    edited February 2006
    the reason I posted my deep feelings here was because I felt safe to do so, I have always found this site to be a haven and I very much enjoy reading and posting here > everyone on this site has been very nice to me, Peace Kimberly
  • Kimberly_NMKimberly_NM
    edited February 2006
    Hello all > there is so much going on in my life, we just moved & my husband just got out of the military, he is starting a new job in a town about 300 miles away then after about a month he goes over seas, then when he gets back we move again > I have had allot of loved ones pass away recently so I guess I have been overwhelmed!! A new stage of my life is beginning and sometimes I really feel alone!
    Things for me and my husband are pretty nuts right now but it will settle down soon!
    I am really glad my husband is OUT of the military because I do not agree with our troops being over there! My husband was never sent over to Iraq and I am very grateful for that!,
    I have allot to be grateful for !
    I am very lucky in many ways!
    I can feel myself growing spiritually, mentally and emotionally!
    I stopped smoking { 2 pack a day habit for 20 years } so now I have to loose weight, of course! LOL but I would not go back to smoking if you paid me! that is one of my goals, to loose all my extra weight while my husband is gone.
    anyway............
    Peace and thanks for being here!
    Kimberly
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited February 2006
    Kimberly lovie - it's ever so easy to be peaceful, right-minded and harmonious when things are going well. It's when one's life is going round like the final spin on the washing machine that it gets hard to put into practice all the stuff we've read.

    And you're human - wouldn't be so if it didn't get to you sometimes. I think you're doing a great job of looking at the positive side of all the things that are happening to you - so just sometimes in the middle of the night you feel down? Like everyone else said - you're not really. We're all here, even when you can't see us.

    Hey - instead of counting sheep - say hello to all the Sangha members, one by one, that should get you dozing off!
  • wongkowwongkow
    edited April 2006
    No sleep, too much sleep, not enough sleep. Nothing is right in the world of dukkha. Realising the 1st noble truth is a giant step thereby becoming a disciple of the Buddha.
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