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Clinging versus Enjoying.
Chiisai_Pholcidae68
Explorer
I don't know if this is an appropriate thread topic for this forum, but I am a beginner, so I'd feel more comfortable posting in an area where all the beginners aggregate, you might say.
When a person clings to an object, feeling, concept, state of being, etc. the loss of whatever it might be affects them dramatically, leading to poor health.
However, there seems to me to be a big difference between clinging and enjoying. What I mean is that when I feel something good, I like to savor the feeling until it passes. I used to cling, but I realized it made me suffer even before I became interested in Buddhism, so I trained myself to become fully aware of the fact that a feeling is ephemeral by nature and nature shouldn't be disturbed if you can help it, so to speak...
I basically go through this process now: the feeling comes, I form a thought about it, I like the thought, the feeling passes, and am satisfied at that moment with whatever is left behind, even if it is nothing at all.
What does newbuddhist.com think about this?
When a person clings to an object, feeling, concept, state of being, etc. the loss of whatever it might be affects them dramatically, leading to poor health.
However, there seems to me to be a big difference between clinging and enjoying. What I mean is that when I feel something good, I like to savor the feeling until it passes. I used to cling, but I realized it made me suffer even before I became interested in Buddhism, so I trained myself to become fully aware of the fact that a feeling is ephemeral by nature and nature shouldn't be disturbed if you can help it, so to speak...
I basically go through this process now: the feeling comes, I form a thought about it, I like the thought, the feeling passes, and am satisfied at that moment with whatever is left behind, even if it is nothing at all.
What does newbuddhist.com think about this?
0
Comments
"Let me have another one" - clinging
That's not to say you can't enjoy yourself or anything. Nothing like that!
Yes. Following the teachings of wise people such as The Buddha is a part of my exercise in finding inner peace. My internal life as been chaotic and unpleasant ever since I turned 13 (I'm 18 now). With so many years of inner turmoil, I'm tired. Hopefully, Dhamma can help to relieve this physical, mental and emotional weariness. Anyone in my position wouldn't be able to afford being lazy with Dhamma.
Just my thoughts on the matter,, hmmm
"All the delightful things of the world--sweet sounds, lovely forms, all the pleasant tastes and touches and thoughts--these are all agreed to bring happiness if they are not grasped and possessed.
"But if you regard them merely as pleasures for your own use and satisfaction and do not see them as passing wonders, they will bring suffering."
-Sutta Nipata
Alan
Also be glad that you have bad experiences - they teach us not to be so attached to this world and this body.
But experiences are like a rare orchid in the rainforest, that only flowers once in ten years, and then for a night. They are wonderful and precious precisely because they are transient. Clinging to them will only make us unhappy when they are gone, and unhappy if we anticipate their going, whilst they are still here.
If we accept that everything is impermanent, without fighting that fact, we can enjoy it in the Now, and when it is gone, it is gone. Perhaps if it wasn't impermanent, it wouldn't be so precious?
As for difficult experiences, awareness of impermanence that we learn from these pleasurable things, can also help us remember that unpleasant things too shall pass.
I hope this is helpful.
Because people commonly attribute attachment to happiness, I was uncertain as to the distinction between them.
I have many examples in my own life.
Recently, I've taken to Krispy Kreme apple pies (Krispy Kreme is a donut company located in the Southeastern United States). However silly it may seem, I attributed these pies to happiness. If I didn't eat one before going to sleep, I'd feel unfulfilled. Having my parents shower me with snacks and desserts while I feel bad simply because I feel bad doesn't help. :-/
this is a good example because whilst it is good to enjoy the occasional Krisy Kreme, there is a difference between that and feeling that you have to have one every night before you go to sleep. The former is enjoyment, the latter could be attachment.
Unfortunately, attachment generally brings suffering in its wake - in this example, you could get fat and your teeth could rot. And then you'd have to go to the dentist. So probably best to try to avoid getting into negative habits in which you start believing something has to be a certain way before you can be happy.
But you are right about Krispy Kreme's not relieving suffering.