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While meditating
Talisman
Veteran
While meditating the other night I had some interesting insights. Some of the time while meditating, I try to "force" myself into a concentrated or meditative state. I try to remember how it "felt" to be deeply focused and enter into the state by force of will. When I get into this kind of habit it becomes exhausting and obviously fruitless as any sort of "feeling" I get is comepletely transient and definitely not calming or focused.
So instead I stopped doing this and returned to my breath and realized that achieving concentration is more of an indirect type of experience. I imagined that my focus and peace and even my happiness are like a flower or tree. They are something that I cam trying to cultivate and grow. And when I meditate it is like I am focusing entirely on feeding and nurturing the roots of this "tree of enlightenment." I don't need to worry about immediately entering into any sort of transcendent or otherworldly state because there is no "me" to experience such a state. What is important is that I continue to maintain the roots.
And then I envisioned my mind as a garden. And surrounding the garden is a wall. This wall is the precepts, protecting my mind from disturbing or destructive outside influece. Inside the garden there is my tree. But there are also weeds that are preventing my tree from growing healthy and strong. The weeds are the hinderances. As the gardener, I must protect and maintain the wall that protects the garden of my mind while also uprooting the weeds so that it flurishes unhindered. My meditation practice is the water and nourishment that feeds the tree and helps it to grow.
The reality is that there is no "me" doing these things. There is no me building and protecting the wall of precepts. There is no me uprooting and discarding the weeds. There is no me nourishing the roots through focus and concentration. There is no me in the tree that grows. These analogies are just that, analogies. When I try to find the gardener, he is no where to be seen. But the garden still grows.
So instead I stopped doing this and returned to my breath and realized that achieving concentration is more of an indirect type of experience. I imagined that my focus and peace and even my happiness are like a flower or tree. They are something that I cam trying to cultivate and grow. And when I meditate it is like I am focusing entirely on feeding and nurturing the roots of this "tree of enlightenment." I don't need to worry about immediately entering into any sort of transcendent or otherworldly state because there is no "me" to experience such a state. What is important is that I continue to maintain the roots.
And then I envisioned my mind as a garden. And surrounding the garden is a wall. This wall is the precepts, protecting my mind from disturbing or destructive outside influece. Inside the garden there is my tree. But there are also weeds that are preventing my tree from growing healthy and strong. The weeds are the hinderances. As the gardener, I must protect and maintain the wall that protects the garden of my mind while also uprooting the weeds so that it flurishes unhindered. My meditation practice is the water and nourishment that feeds the tree and helps it to grow.
The reality is that there is no "me" doing these things. There is no me building and protecting the wall of precepts. There is no me uprooting and discarding the weeds. There is no me nourishing the roots through focus and concentration. There is no me in the tree that grows. These analogies are just that, analogies. When I try to find the gardener, he is no where to be seen. But the garden still grows.
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