Please Prove This to Me.

Chiisai_Pholcidae68

People wage war,
They are sent to war,
They murder their own children,
They spare no mercy,
They like to watch others die in electric chairs,
They utter words like daggers,
They frighten,
Abhor,
Degrade,
Confuse,
And destroy.

Please prove to me that the world is good and beautiful as I've heard many people say.

Please give me a reason why I should live in this Hell.

taiyaki

ever look at the flowers on the ground?
or how about the open sky in a nice summer day.
or the smile of a child.

the world is what we make it. all things start from mind and end at mind.

yes there is suffering, but there is also peace.

Dakini

Most people don't like to watch others die in electric chairs. eewwww....
Only the deranged murder their own children.
Only jerks utter words like daggers.

what kind of people have you been hanging out with? You need to make better choices. Or not focus on the negative. For example:

People are quietly working daily in difficult conditions to bring health to suffering people. Do you see them?
Individuals sometimes think nothing of risking their lives to save others. Do you notice them?
People dedicate their lives to end oppression, and they succeed. Are you aware of their achievements?
Every day, anonymous individuals perform small kindnesses to people the come across as they go about their business. Others volunteer their time for those in need. Where are you in this picture?

vinlyn

People also work for peace,
Some serve honorably in the military,
Most raise their children with great love and affection,
Most are kind, often generous, and are merciful to those who deserve mercy,
I've never met a person who wants to watch someone die in electric chairs,
Most speak calmly, politely, kindly,
They are frightened,
They abhor things which should be abhored,
They inspire,
They clarify,
And they build.

Perhaps you should examine who the people you know are.

Chiisai_Pholcidae68

Most people don't like to watch others die in electric chairs. eewwww....
Only the deranged murder their own children.
Only jerks utter words like daggers.

what kind of people have you been hanging out with?

I reference those who revel in the idea that others are sentenced to the death penalty and those who have doctors kill their babies.

I don't want to get into an argument about these things. It is just that I see the cruelty in them, the blatant cruelty and harm and suffering and cannot stand it.

I have no idea how anyone can stand it.

The people around me harm me in such small ways but with such violent words.

Things could be worse, I know, but just hearing from someone I love that they think it's O.K. to kill a murderer out of revenge wrenches at my heart.

Simply observing selfishness cripples me.

Chiisai_Pholcidae68

In my attempt to stand back up, I started this Discussion.

riverflow

I've always taken this passage from Simone Weil to heart:

"To say that the world is not worth anything, that this life is of no value and to give evil as a proof is absurd, for if these things are worthless then what does evil take from us?" (from Gravity and Grace)

Mountains

Your OP sounds like you're considering hurting yourself. If that's true, I urge you to find help before you do. Depending where you are, there may be a suicide hotline available. In the US it's there 24/7.

I hope I'm misreading your post...

Dakini

Chiisai, have you seen the film "The Green Mile"? It's great. It's about someone like you, who has trouble living with the dissonance in life.

zombiegirl

the world, as horrible as it may seem at times, also contains a tremendous amount of beauty. even the most dismal situations have the potential for love and beauty... sometimes we just become too blind to see it.

"Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong, it
learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared. ...

You see, you wouldn't ask why the rose that grew from the concrete
had damaged petals. On the contrary, we would all celebrate its
tenacity. We would all love it's will to reach the sun.
Well, we are the rose - this is the concrete - and these are
my damaged petals. Don't ask me why, thank God n***a, ask me how!"

-Tupac Shakur

Gumbercules

A lot of good points and quotes in this thread. I'll try and add my own. Try to think of it in a purely scientific way. society abhors all of those things you mentioned. That must mean that for every killing out there, there are thousands to hundreds of thousands of kind acts. When you hear about a single horrifying story, the reason that's so horrifying is because it's out of the norm. I've felt almost the same way as you many times. I used to think that one horrible act outweighs every kind act. Now I can't help but think the opposite. Imagine a world of pure hatred, agony and death. Then imagine one act of complete selfless sacrifice and how amazingly beautiful that must be in a world like that. There's no less beauty to kindness in our world, it's just that we're more used to it which in itself should be encouraging.

And about someone you love being for the death penalty, you HAVE to realize that is 100% not their fault. No child grows up thinking KILL EM ALL, that is purely due to outside influence. That person has gone throughout the years of their lives most likely having that idea ingrained in them by their surroundings and community. If a kid was taught that wrong was right, and right was wrong, they most likely won't be able to recognize the error in that purely on their own.

Chiisai_Pholcidae68

A lot of good points and quotes in this thread. I'll try and add my own. Try to think of it in a purely scientific way. society abhors all of those things you mentioned. That must mean that for every killing out there, there are thousands to hundreds of thousands of kind acts. When you hear about a single horrifying story, the reason that's so horrifying is because it's out of the norm. I've felt almost the same way as you many times. I used to think that one horrible act outweighs every kind act. Now I can't help but think the opposite. Imagine a world of pure hatred, agony and death. Then imagine one act of complete selfless sacrifice and how amazingly beautiful that must be in a world like that. There's no less beauty to kindness in our world, it's just that we're more used to it which in itself should be encouraging.

I like this explanation. I will remember this. Especially the part which reads "...Imagine one act of complete selfless sacrifice and how amazingly beautiful that must be in a world like that".

Your OP sounds like you're considering hurting yourself.

I considered it, but I did not.
I sat in the living room and ate dinner with my mom.
I went on an internet chat room and talked to my boyfriend, who is such a kind person that I call him "my bodhisattva".

My bouts of suicidal thought are good examples of impermanence. My sickness is so unbearable that I feel like it will last forever, but it never does.

I want everyone to know that I have read your comments to my Discussion and that I will try to remember them next time I feel like this. It's easy for me to slip into suicidal thought, but as long as I reach out to someone I will probably be O.K.

Remembering how hurt the people around me would be if I did such a thing helps me let go of my selfishness.

I can make my brain stronger and more capable of dealing with emotions. One of the reasons why Buddhism appeals to me is because the practice of mindfulness is healing and I view it as a sort of practical cognitive therapy. I just have to keep it up.

Chiisai, have you seen the film "The Green Mile"? It's great. It's about someone like you, who has trouble living with the dissonance in life.

I haven't seen that movie, but I will check it out

Dakini

@Chiisai Do you think you might be bi-polar? Or just occasionally severely depressed? Reflecting back to earlier in life, is there anything that might be at the root of that tendency? Are you getting counseling? Sounds like it would be a good idea.

You're blessed--you have a wonderful boyfriend, and what sounds like a good relationship with your parents. Start a gratitude journal. Every day write down one more thing you're thankful for. It really helps turn one's perspective around.

Chiisai_Pholcidae68

@Chiisai Do you think you might be bi-polar? Or just occasionally severely depressed? Reflecting back to earlier in life, is there anything that might be at the root of that tendency? Are you getting counseling? Sounds like it would be a good idea.

I have schizophrenia.

Dakini

Are you on meds for that? We have another member here who is in your situation, you're not alone.

The Buddhist thing to do would be to tell yourself, when you get into these funks, that it's just the mind playing tricks on you, making you think everything's bleak. "This, too, shall pass" should be your motto at times like that. I don't know to what extent that would work in your situation, but you could try it. Best wishes. This is manageable.

StaticToybox

One thing that might help, if you watch/read a lot of news, is to stop. Or at the least watch/read less. The media focuses on negativity and sensationalism because, unfortunately, that sells. Not sure why this is, but it is. A friend of my dad's once tried to start up a local paper that focused exclusively on good news. He made a commendable try at it, eventually though he had to close it down because people just weren't buying.

Dakini

There is a magazine that focuses on good news. It's called "Yes!" Devoted to people who are finding innovative solutions to the world's problems, and environmental projects.