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[POLL] Writers, PLEASE read

edited February 2006 in General Banter
I'm curious how many people here are writers? Short stories, poems, long stories, novels, anything. Please post if you are.
Thanks alot for your time. :D

Comments

  • edited February 2006
    I am...Mostly unfinished novels though.
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Hi Capt.

    yes I write (many times and too often-in this forum).

    I surprised myself a while ago by sending my first everthree articles to a magazine, and all were accpted and printed! I was rapt.

    I mainly write articles for magazines. I'm presently waiting for an acceptance of an 800-word submission to a parenting magazine, that I sent a week ago. Fingers crossed.

    I have an idea for a non-fiction book, but it's only at idea stage at the moment. My main interest is to write short articles and earn a little cash to supplement my income (I'm an Electronics Engineer/Instructor).
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Hey KOB,

    care to submit a couple of pages, I'd be interested to see just how fiction works-I've got absolutley NO IDEA about how to write fiction-mine really sucks.

    X
  • edited February 2006
    Have had a couple of articles published in specialist magazines but all fiction writing is just for friends.
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    good one knitwitch, Rub it in why don't ya.

    haha

    X
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2006
    I have written two books... One is a Brabara Cartland style romantic yarn, when I really should have known better, (!!) and the second, a magical fantasy about a sorcerer's cat, which was turned down by publishers everywhere as not being the type of stuff kids would want at that time, because it was all space and 'Star Wars', episodes two, seven, five and nine, or whatever....*yawn!* ... then someone called J. K. Rowling came along, and did it bigger and better.... *sigh*... consigned to the back-burner. Or maybe, just the 'burner'....!! :D
  • edited February 2006
    Yes, I write, though I haven't tried to publish anything in a long time. The only pieces I've ever published have been poems. I've also been in a few rock bands and used to write lyrics for them too.
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    I think I posted this one before... Just a funny about writing in college (university for you English blokes...)


    This assignment was actually turned in by two English students:
    Rebecca {last name deleted} and Gary {last name deleted}

    English 44A SMU
    Creative Writing
    Prof Miller

    In-class Assignment for Wednesday

    Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.


    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.

    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted
    a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
    youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

    Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on
    course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!"

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

    Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

    You total $*&.

    Stupid %&#$!.


    -bf
  • edited February 2006
    (wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes) hoo hoo hoo, that is the funniest thing I have read in ages BF - thank you so much. I am going to copy it and send it to a guy with whom I did the same experiment (with much less funny results) a few years ago.

    That is completely priceless!
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Is all of that meant to be funny-that was stolen from me! who did it?

    That was my last assignment for fiction! I demand to know, Who is using my serious literary expertise to highlight "Their" skills at fiction?

    I'm appalled by this theft! Return it to me immediately Buddhafoot!

    regards,
    X
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Knitwitch wrote:
    (wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes) hoo hoo hoo, that is the funniest thing I have read in ages BF - thank you so much. I am going to copy it and send it to a guy with whom I did the same experiment (with much less funny results) a few years ago.

    That is completely priceless!

    Ditto, BF. ROTFLMAO!!!

    Brigid
  • keithgkeithg Explorer
    edited February 2006
    :bawling: :banghead: :lol:
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