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Meditative Hypochondria
Jeffrey
Veteran
Rigdzin Shikpo in Never Turn Away:
"Ambition is such a feature of our culture and the way we are brouth up that we can't really avoid it. Ambition is part of the very essence of Western society, although I suspect we could find ambitious meditators everywhere.
When we meditate we look for success in one way or anotehr. In the West, it's very common to think that meditation is about getting rid of thoughts. It's a notion that can be very difficult to shift. As we begin to practice, we worry about getting it right, and we complain when our meditation is full fo thoughts, without realizing that those boiling bubbling thoughts aren't a problem, even if they make us uncomfortable.
Later we wonder if we're getting the results we expected, and we have many ideas about what those results should be. We have notions about attaining enlightenment, although we don't really know what that is. We read about insight in the Therevada tradition and satori in Zen, or we turn to Tibetan Buddhism and read about mahamudra and dzogchen. We're always trying to attain something from meditation something that will make it worthwhile.
We find ourselves looking over our shoulder during meditation to see how far we've come. We build so many expectations, wishes, hopes, and fears into our practice. But when we meditate to realize something, we've already started down the wrong path--wrong because it turns away from our immediate experience.
What's more, we look to other peoples' paths and wonder, "How are they getting on? Am I doing as well as they are, or are they going further and faster along the path?" If we aren't careful, they become rivals or competitors, and our practice turns into a kind of spiritual hypochondria, where we are forever taking our meditative temperature.
What we need to do is really quite simple: to direct our meditative practice toward our immediate experience: toward the breath and the stream of thoughts that arise and pass away. With this attitude, a truly carefree spirit begins to emerge. But this can't happen if we're constantly worrying about our meditative health and attainments, because we will always be looking away from our immediate experience."
"Ambition is such a feature of our culture and the way we are brouth up that we can't really avoid it. Ambition is part of the very essence of Western society, although I suspect we could find ambitious meditators everywhere.
When we meditate we look for success in one way or anotehr. In the West, it's very common to think that meditation is about getting rid of thoughts. It's a notion that can be very difficult to shift. As we begin to practice, we worry about getting it right, and we complain when our meditation is full fo thoughts, without realizing that those boiling bubbling thoughts aren't a problem, even if they make us uncomfortable.
Later we wonder if we're getting the results we expected, and we have many ideas about what those results should be. We have notions about attaining enlightenment, although we don't really know what that is. We read about insight in the Therevada tradition and satori in Zen, or we turn to Tibetan Buddhism and read about mahamudra and dzogchen. We're always trying to attain something from meditation something that will make it worthwhile.
We find ourselves looking over our shoulder during meditation to see how far we've come. We build so many expectations, wishes, hopes, and fears into our practice. But when we meditate to realize something, we've already started down the wrong path--wrong because it turns away from our immediate experience.
What's more, we look to other peoples' paths and wonder, "How are they getting on? Am I doing as well as they are, or are they going further and faster along the path?" If we aren't careful, they become rivals or competitors, and our practice turns into a kind of spiritual hypochondria, where we are forever taking our meditative temperature.
What we need to do is really quite simple: to direct our meditative practice toward our immediate experience: toward the breath and the stream of thoughts that arise and pass away. With this attitude, a truly carefree spirit begins to emerge. But this can't happen if we're constantly worrying about our meditative health and attainments, because we will always be looking away from our immediate experience."
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