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American sayings....

federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
edited March 2006 in General Banter
I was watching 'Judge Judy' on TV yesterday..
("You weren't?" -- "I was!!")

And a woman came out with a couple of expressions which, made me laugh out loud...

(You have to think really thick 'Southern Belle' and apply the appropriate accent...)

"She'd squeeze a dollar Bill so tight, George Washington would cry for mercy!"

and -

"It stank so bad, it wouldda made a maggot gag!"

I'm sure she came out with another one but it slips my mind at the moment....

Thing is....Can anyone supply any other wonderful and genuinely used expressions of this ilk? I think they're so colourful, they should be compulsory - !!

Comments

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited March 2006
    ....Oh yes, I remember it now....


    "The place was so durdy, it'd put blisters on a monkey - !"
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited March 2006
    He's so tight (with money) you could shove a piece of coal up his ass and two weeks later, there'd be a diamond.


    Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, the band skips.

    More confused than a baby in a topless bar.

    Couldn't think his way out of a wet paper bag.



    -bf
  • sharpiegirlsharpiegirl
    edited March 2006
    He/She has the sense of a donut hole!
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited March 2006
    He/she has a face like a busted couch.

    He/she's got half the sense God gave geese, and that's a spoonful to a dozen.
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Sorry. Those aren't American. Ooops.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited March 2006
    ..He had a face like a bulldog chewin' a wasp...

    He looked jus' like a camel suckin' a cookie..

    She laughed so much the tears rolled down her legs...
  • FrizzerFrizzer
    edited March 2006
    federica wrote:
    ..He had a face like a bulldog chewin' a wasp...
    SIZE]

    Alternatively :

    He had a face like a bulldog licking piss of a thistle!
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited March 2006
    I had a girlfriend that had a face like a dropped meat pie.

    I didn't really...It was more like a twisted sandshoe...

    regards,
    X
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited March 2006
    ..He had a face like a bulldog chewin' a wasp...

    He looked jus' like a camel suckin' a cookie..

    He had a face like a bulldog licking piss of a thistle!

    ROTFLMAO!!!

    Speaking of which, I just realized how much King Charles spaniels really look like Charles the (Second, is it? Yes, I know I was a history major but ...)
  • BalderBalder
    edited March 2006
    Some Texas sayings (since I grew up there)...

    I'm so hungry, my bellybutton's gnawing on my backbone.

    He's busier than a one legged man in a butt-kickin' contest.

    He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

    She's like a booger that you can't thump off.
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited March 2006
    LMAO!!
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Brigid wrote:
    ..He had a face like a bulldog chewin' a wasp...

    He looked jus' like a camel suckin' a cookie..

    He had a face like a bulldog licking piss of a thistle!

    ROTFLMAO!!!

    Speaking of which, I just realized how much King Charles spaniels really look like Charles the (Second, is it? Yes, I know I was a history major but ...)

    Dear Brigid,

    Was it not this same Charles that you mentioned, who said,

    "Smoking is loathsome to the eye and (something like)dangerous to the health"???

    Just a small (pertinent) question for you to masticate over (watch how I spelled it...).

    regards,
    Xray
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Yes, yes, yes. Don't rub it in. I'm already neurotic about it...and embarrassed...and ashamed...and freaking out.

    I have to go cry myself to sleep now.

    (Kidding)

    (We're off topic again, Xray.)

    Brigid

    P.S. Thanks for caring. :winkc:
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited March 2006
    More watertight than a frogs a**hole.

    So hungry I'd eat a dead horse.

    Fuller than a seed tick in a bear hind-end.

    Colder than a witches tit.

    Somebody beat him with an ugly stick.

    Busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger.

    Busier than a one-legged man kickin' butt.

    -bf
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited March 2006
    Not American but one I used to love when I lived in Yorkshire - "Eee I'm that hungry I could eat a septic leg!"
  • BrianBrian Detroit, MI Moderator
    edited March 2006
    That went over like a fart in church.
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Brian wrote:
    That went over like a fart in church.

    I believe that's a "lead fart".

    One that will actually dent the floor with it's impact. :)

    -bf
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited March 2006
    The one I heard was "as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit"
  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Hoppin' like a frog on a hot plate!

    Shakin' like a dog shittin' peach pits! (sorry)

    Palzang the recalcitrant
  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Jumpy as a frog on a hot plate!

    Shakin' like a dog shittin' peach pits! (sorry)

    Palzang the recalcitrant
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited March 2006
    Now those are excellent! Especially the dog one ... but my lavatorial humour is legendary.
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