handling some negative work vibes with skillful means

AMH

Related to another poster (but my job is not in jeopardy) I am having some negative vibes at work. I am nto sure if I am just being oversensitive but i feel I need to clear the air with my supervisor, and I want to do it well. So Friday we had a training and I was in the parking lot about when it started getting a call from a staff who was lost. i had given a person a ride because their ride had strep and was in the ER. So today I go the email of a list of who was late and needed a write up, it has been an issue addressed in person and at staff meetings and is more than fair right now. however the staff person who rode with me was also on teh list. A quick fix was telling my supervisor that she was with me and we were giving someone directions. Then my supervisor said fine and that she had a write up she was going to give me however wouldn't because we got that phone call. Actually that was my 4th staff phone call that morning. Driving to a new location and answering texts and calls (staff had no voice, otherwise no texting) seems to be just cause for not being my usual 10 minutes early.

So here is my issue, in 2 1/2 months since school started I have never been late to any meet

compassionate_warrior

Can you talk to her about it again, and tell her you were actually working while getting yourself and the staff person to work? You were taking numerous staff phone calls. That's work. As a conciliatory note, you could ask her how to handle such a situation in the future: not take the staff phone calls, so you can get to work on time? Take the calls, but notify the supervisor about the reason for the delay, and make a log of the calls? Solicit advice as you explain. Make solving the problem a team effort, letting her know her input is valued. idk. Some people need to have their egos stroked.

AMH

that could be good, I want to ask also about my understanding that the first tardy to anything is an informal chat rather than a standard write up (which skips the verbal warning typed up).

I think I could also talk about the common issue of how it feels to have staff walk in late to a professional training. I know that I take it seriously as a reflection on the team.

compassionate_warrior

It sounds like you're onto something. As I reread the OP, it also sounds like this was an exceptional situation, where everyone was trying to find a new location, and the lost staff members were all calling you for directions. Taking numerous staff calls isn't something that would happen on anything like a regular basis. So this would be good to explain, as well. The circumstances were unusual, and everyone was calling you for help.

AMH

I guess we cannot ask for compassion or validation, or can we? I tend to be the hard worker bee that often gets overlooked (in my view). I am dependable and I hear I am unfailingly positive from my team. So I would like that positive to maybe challenge others as well?

I gave a treat to all my staff who dressed up for the halloween parties for example. I can tell the vibe in the office is more that it is just a frill but i see a chance to make a really fun time for the kids and famlies along with a chance to be positive for my staff. I wore 3 halloween outfits in 3 days, my choice but positive, so that day I am laughing and having a good time with a staff who threw a write up back at me last year, told me the entire program was bad since I came, insisted that the only reason I had my job was becuase I was white, and so on. I just let her get it out, at the end of the conversation she was saying 'oh I am too mean,aren't I?'. I never had to tell her that, I just let her talk and didn't react.

Overall I feel the time has come to blow my own horn a little, point out what I am really good at (and paperwork is NOT it). I read something that put some of my traits in amore positive light recently. I could be called a 'people pleaser' not great on confrontation and heirarchy. So the way this article phrased it was 'you put people at ease, make them comfortable and are a good host'. MUCH better than people who seem to shout at me to be more assertive to everyone. And I noticed that my last Thanksgiving i hosted had 20+ people who all had a great time, from athiests to Mormons to the dogs. All the volatile parents I have been warned about just mellow out and sign the behavior reports on their children and leave smiling. Honestly having staff and parents who have almost hit each other I consider this fairly skilled. No one get a write up for not calming volatile parents, just for the measurable things like rosters and reports which I AM getting done.

Okay not sure where i wandered off to, but i think the core feeling is much better understood now.

DaltheJigsaw

Great question, great thread and great forum, with great people!:) Glad that we have a community where people can ask personal questions!:)

compassionate_warrior

Many people are uncomfortable blowing their own horn, but I've noticed that this has become accepted practice, at least in the US. I've even seen advice articles for office and corporate workers that say you have to let your supervisor know what value you are to the enterprise, or you'll go unnoticed and unrewarded. Times have changed. It used to be that being aware of what each employee was doing and how they were performing was the supervisor's job, and "quiet competence" was valued. Modesty in that respect was a virtue. It's not like that anymore, which can be a difficult adjustment for some.

Dakini

The annual performance evaluation is a good time to let your supervisor know of everything you feel you've done well, and of the "extra mile" you've gone now and then. But I've noticed that those who get the promotions and accolades are those who do constantly let the boss know of all the great things they've done, as they happen. It seems a bit egotistical, if not manipulative even, but that's the way the workplace seems to function these days. The sqeaky wheel gets the grease.