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Those Closest to You are Your Teachers

ThailandTomThailandTom Veteran
edited November 2011 in Buddhism Basics
Has anybody realized that relationships be it with a partner, siblings, family members or friends can provide the hardest teachings of buddhism and life in general. It is often very difficult to remain mindful and rational at times.

Comments

  • cazcaz Veteran United Kingdom Veteran
    Its easy to practice with strangers as we dont yet have a basis of imputation for them yet with family and friends it can be that much harder as the old saying goes "Familiarity breeds contempt" and so it does so we have to make an extra effort to eliminate incorrect view and minds that arise with regards to our nearest and dearest :)
  • ToshTosh Veteran
    Yes, I often call my partner my 'teacher of patience'.

    It annoys her when I say it to her though! :rarr:
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    Yeah it probably goes both ways Tosh :) In my experiences its been that way at least haha.
  • ThailandTomThailandTom Veteran
    Man, yesterday I was close to blowing my lid. Even though it was mostly me in the wrong, I just had to control my temper which is rare for me as I am normally so laid back. Sometimes it is just impossible to understand what is going on inside a woman's mind :rolleyes:
  • cazcaz Veteran United Kingdom Veteran
    Man, yesterday I was close to blowing my lid. Even though it was mostly me in the wrong, I just had to control my temper which is rare for me as I am normally so laid back. Sometimes it is just impossible to understand what is going on inside a woman's mind :rolleyes:
    Buddha may have called that one of the Imponderables :)
  • vixthenomadvixthenomad
    I am convinced that my children are Zen masters. (Either that or they're little so-and-sos at times.) I'm not the best student they could ever have but I do my best and they are endlessly patient with me. :)
  • ToshTosh Veteran
    Man, yesterday I was close to blowing my lid. Even though it was mostly me in the wrong, I just had to control my temper which is rare for me as I am normally so laid back.
    My teacher's advice is that when we're angry, if we can catch it, we have to realise it's ALL IN OUR MINDS, nothing to do with anything or anyone external.

    And if you can do that, it'll short circuit the anger.

    So the 'it was mostly me in the wrong', is a wrong view; it was 'all you in the wrong'. :D

    It really does work, if you can catch it; it's one of those 'simple not easy' things, I think.
  • cazcaz Veteran United Kingdom Veteran
    Man, yesterday I was close to blowing my lid. Even though it was mostly me in the wrong, I just had to control my temper which is rare for me as I am normally so laid back.
    My teacher's advice is that when we're angry, if we can catch it, we have to realise it's ALL IN OUR MINDS, nothing to do with anything or anyone external.

    And if you can do that, it'll short circuit the anger.

    So the 'it was mostly me in the wrong', is a wrong view; it was 'all you in the wrong'. :D

    It really does work, if you can catch it; it's one of those 'simple not easy' things, I think.
    Yes well said this a good method but it requires some mindfulness and constant watching :)
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