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social worker and police coming to my school

AMHAMH
edited November 2011 in General Banter
Okay i let my daughter run an errand which is 15 minutes away and I have been waiting 20 minuts for her to get home. i got a call that a sociel worker is at my school and calling the police for a child. I am really not calm yet from the rest of the day. did I mention I threw my favorite mug against the house and broke it this morning? Yeah really not ok, I am just writing so i can calm and nto kill the kid who I let use the car after she used the fword with me twice today. I am not happy,

Comments

  • compassionate_warriorcompassionate_warrior Veteran
    Your daughter needs to understand that you go to work in order to feed, house and clothe her. She shouldn't be sassing you for doing your parental duty. This is just a shot in the dark, since I don't know you, but maybe more assertiveness needs to be exercised at home. I mean controlled assertiveness, not yelling or throwing. I say this in good spirit, constructively, I don't mean to sound condescending. I could never manage what you have on your plate to deal with. But there is something wrong with this picture. (I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, with that.) The girls seem resentful and lost, and are acting out. I've heard of situations like this being resolved, but not without skilled professional help.
  • AMHAMH
    We have counseling tonight, She is definitely taking the damn bus, pardon. I have been working with her for 3 years, it just gets worse. and now she is 18 so i can't do inpatiend without her consent. Yeah, I have not thrown anything in 3 years+, and I am embarrassed but not too much honestl

    And to some people I am a drmaa queen, this was a factor in losing my boyfriend who i dearly miss, and I am just tired.
  • compassionate_warriorcompassionate_warrior Veteran
    edited November 2011
    :( All I can think of right now is how to get you some TLC. Do you have any privacy at home when you can do some emotional work? One thing I recommend to people is to pick an issue (difficulties with ex, or with one of the girls, or with mom, for ex.), and sit down with a pad of paper and pour all your thoughts and emotions onto the page, as if you were writing someone a poison-pen letter. Say everything and anything on your mind in relation to a given problem/person. Everything you're afraid to say in person. Keep writing until there's nothing left to write. Then dispose of the letter. Either flush or burn it. (I find flames very purifying, but you don't want to set off the smoke alarm. ;) ) The idea is to get all that pent-up emotional energy out of the system, to externalize it, but in a safe way. It's a way of unburdening yourself, and cleansing the system to a degree. The more that angry, frustrated, maybe a little sad energy rattles around inside you, the more it'll fester. Or it'll burst out and make things worse. So you do an exercise like this every day to let off steam. I've known people who swear by this sort of thing. They say over time, their symptoms improve: depression, or whatever the problem may be, and they cope with life much better.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited November 2011
    Are your meds working well do you think? Not saying that the situations are due to that but under this stress you are vulnerable. Should you call your psych doctor?

    Which is why I am NoT saying you have to get different meds, I am just calling you to rationally assess if they are working enough.

    A lot of this (all with kids/boyfriend/job) you don't have control over, you know? And your just playing a part. You are not responsible for what you do not have control over. Just work on the little things that you can do.
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    edited November 2011
    This is too much stress for someone with her own mental health issues. I vote for a massage for Heerdt, and for sloughing off one of the kids to dad.

    Let us know how this turns out, please. Did you get the car back in a reasonably timely manner? How did things go at work?
  • AMHAMH
    So the update is that the child was released to dad, a misunderstanding after all. One of my coworkers went over to support and we did not have to file as much paperwork as expected. My daughter took an hour to get back when the store she was allowed to go to was 15 minutes away. We had her therapy appointment so i had her take the bus there and back. I really didn't want to sit in the car with her.

    Jeffrey thank you for pointing that out, I at least knew I was crazy in the middle of being crazy. I have a counseling appointment and I realize over my weekend trip i had several drinks. I never had to drive, but it is strongly worded that I not drink and i have not since I started this medication, I rarely drink anyway.. So I told my friend that I am going with no alcohol ever, I am pretty sure that was part of it (i was not drinking then but it can affect the medication working)

    I think I have a massage coupon in my email for my birthday and this weekend off, so hmm, very good idea.
  • AMHAMH
    oh to add, i did focus on some little things. I fixed the toilet and caught up listening to phone messages (which i hate), posted an old 101 word short story on hub pages and almot got the lightbulb changed before the emergency call. Not bad, I think i need to finish one of the projects before starting another.
  • DaltheJigsawDaltheJigsaw Mountain View Veteran
    Are your meds working well do you think? Not saying that the situations are due to that but under this stress you are vulnerable. Should you call your psych doctor?

    Which is why I am NoT saying you have to get different meds, I am just calling you to rationally assess if they are working enough.

    A lot of this (all with kids/boyfriend/job) you don't have control over, you know? And your just playing a part. You are not responsible for what you do not have control over. Just work on the little things that you can do.
    Absolutely! Especially what you can and cannot control.
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    @AHeerdt Hey, did you get that massage? Isn't it amazing what a difference a massage can make? Suddenly, afterwards, life looks completely different, and you can cope again!
  • AMHAMH
    OOoh, not yet byt I am looking at the days off next week. I had to cancel my hair appointment to get my son to the psych DR, he has not attended school this week from crippling anxiety. So that is one thing on my self care list, and the massage, and not talking to my mother or my friend with an abusive son she doesn't want to kick out, ya know, keeping it chill as my after school students ay
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