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my point of mindfullness in the real world
Another 'no clue where this goes' post, that is how my brain functions. So let me weave the spider web leading up to this thought (and tell me if I sound crazy, I missed some regular medication accidentally and i am not a good judge of myself then).
So we did self evaluations at work on a 1-5 scale for everything from organization to iniative to prodictivity. I socred myself high, cringed a lot, had my meeting with my supervisor, still off balance about the whole thing. One area was that she really pushed for more of a 3 in organization and i gave myself a 4. We have a LOT of work (she is brand new and not always aware) and I have only had 2-3 things late this year including during medical issues and beginning of year start up. But I have also created systems to work in the office or remotely at any time without missing any paperwork, and I have a higher focus on supporting my staff than working with administration. We agreed on a higher score for initiative and for communication but still I am sure she would knock me down a point compared to where I put myself. On the communication she agrees that I have handled some very difficult conversations however I have not had all the conversations I have needed to have (some because people weren't doing their part which now that I know I can take care of).
That is the background, so I was swirling around in my head, knowing this is a pilot program, thinking of what i wanted to see and what was useful to our work, and then realizing that other than initiative there was nothing on this evaluation that was about the 'spark' of it all. So i can create extra family nights, or another person is a gifted artist who works with the kids, and another is so energetic that the children always want to work with them, but we are back to if we all get paperwork in on time or if we are productive. And how in the world do you put that into an evaluative process?
So mindfullness, hmm. The other input is reading some quotes by Einstein on love and creativity and learning. There was one about being an artist and having that overwhelming urge to create. That connects to mindfullness totally in my mind (or lack of mind). Here is where it gets difficult to talk about, I think it is like talent. You know it when you see it even if it is in an area that you do not have talent in. We know when we see that connection, that spark, and respond to it. To me that is mindfullness, being so into life that you have all channels open and whatever needs to come out is free to come out without all the baggage of fear and embarrassment and doubt and pride.
That is as far as i can write effecively right now.
So we did self evaluations at work on a 1-5 scale for everything from organization to iniative to prodictivity. I socred myself high, cringed a lot, had my meeting with my supervisor, still off balance about the whole thing. One area was that she really pushed for more of a 3 in organization and i gave myself a 4. We have a LOT of work (she is brand new and not always aware) and I have only had 2-3 things late this year including during medical issues and beginning of year start up. But I have also created systems to work in the office or remotely at any time without missing any paperwork, and I have a higher focus on supporting my staff than working with administration. We agreed on a higher score for initiative and for communication but still I am sure she would knock me down a point compared to where I put myself. On the communication she agrees that I have handled some very difficult conversations however I have not had all the conversations I have needed to have (some because people weren't doing their part which now that I know I can take care of).
That is the background, so I was swirling around in my head, knowing this is a pilot program, thinking of what i wanted to see and what was useful to our work, and then realizing that other than initiative there was nothing on this evaluation that was about the 'spark' of it all. So i can create extra family nights, or another person is a gifted artist who works with the kids, and another is so energetic that the children always want to work with them, but we are back to if we all get paperwork in on time or if we are productive. And how in the world do you put that into an evaluative process?
So mindfullness, hmm. The other input is reading some quotes by Einstein on love and creativity and learning. There was one about being an artist and having that overwhelming urge to create. That connects to mindfullness totally in my mind (or lack of mind). Here is where it gets difficult to talk about, I think it is like talent. You know it when you see it even if it is in an area that you do not have talent in. We know when we see that connection, that spark, and respond to it. To me that is mindfullness, being so into life that you have all channels open and whatever needs to come out is free to come out without all the baggage of fear and embarrassment and doubt and pride.
That is as far as i can write effecively right now.
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question: [couldn't hear]
No just an ordinary one actually. And I was so struck with how uplifting it was and you could see as people stepped in you could see this sort of relief on their faces as they stepped as they said 'oh a civilized place'. You know somewhere where you could feel that human spirit there. I remember my father saying when the ship was in during the war...whats the word they say not grounded..??..something like that yeah...and he was in charge of a gang of men and he got them all polishing all the nobs. Because they had nothing to do. But he got them completely absorbed in kind of making the place look as spick and span as you could. It was quite interesting to see the sense of pride and sort of the lift in peoples step as they marched down the corridors with these brightly shining nobs (laughter). Some kind of spirit there of its good to be alive its good to have shiny nobs you know we can enjoy things together its kind of its our dignity its involved somehow.
So we can take that spirit into whatever one does and whatever one has. There is always other people involved so you can always sort of go towards those people and think this is my chance to connect with them in a very strong way. I can make a heart connection with them. This will give them a heart connection with dharma. Try to recognize the buddha nature in them and try to sort of really reflect on that. And you know you can do this NVC [non-violent communication]? thing and try and empathize with them. To try and sort of feel you know working with the people around you. So thats the huge you know really important way to practice dharma. Other people are the ones who reflect ourselves back to us aren't they? Its other people who bring out our pride, jealousy, and anger and those emotions so you know we need all these people to kind of bring all that out so that we can work with it so its a very positive way of thinking about going to your workplace. And then or working at home or wherever that is.
And then if your work involves a skill and I can't imagine a job that doesn't involve some kind of skill. When your working with your skill you can notice how you always do your job better the less you are clinging to the idea of self. Like this skill comes from letting that go. The more you are uptight trying to do it and control it [56:01] the less well it goes. And the more you can actually open out to that moment and just relate to the immediacy of the situation the more skillful you become with whatever it is you are doing. Its really interesting to notice that and to tie that back to your own dharma practice. The less I push the less I try to kind of get in there and control it and make it in a particular way the more the natural skill of awareness starts to loosen up and manifest itself. So you can carry that over into anything that you are doing as well in your work.
And again the question about relating to the world whether it is the natural world or the world that we as humans have created can we look at that in itself as positive? Are we actually trying to change the world? Are we trying to make the world a better place? So from one point of view you could say you know as buddhists we know it is samsara and that ultimately it depends on peoples karma and there is an unlimited value in trying to save the planet or trying to fight the political battles and fight for human rights and things like that. And all these things we could get involved in in a way they are endless so as a good buddhist we feel well maybe I shouldn't get involved in all of that I should just focus on working with my own path.
So I think it is good to think in terms of yes ultimately it is not going to depend on what I do what the final outcome is going to be. There is no use in being attached to that. But my input can make a huge difference to many people and my input can be my path. So as I involve myself in different situations that arise as I involve myself I can use those as my practice and as the path and hopefully by following this particular line of action I will be able to benefit some people in the immediate presence as well as in the long term because of the pranidhanas I am making. And then you think so if I say that so what is the limit I mean there are so many things you can get involved in and so you think well how does one decide? And thats very interesting isn't it? Because different people tend to get very inspired and feel connected to different activities. You know from childhood onward you know they seem to have a kind of affinity for certain things. And I think its ok to follow your own inspiration actually. If you have an inspiration to looking after children looking after gardens or..I mean different people do get inspired by different things.
So I don't think thats really very important. I mean maybe you can follow your inspiration because your circumstances allow. Maybe you can't because your circumstances don't allow it. So I don't think it matters you can be working with a situation that has somehow come your way and you haven't got much choice. Or you have got a choice and you really feel your energy goes into that really easily and thats what you want you know it feels the most important. Or you feel it is the most important thing in which case your energy goes into it not because you have an affinity but because you feel that this is the most important thing that is presenting itself to you as what you should do.
So I think thats ok I don't think as a Buddhist it matters really what puts you into doing one thing rather than another. As a Buddhist what matters is whether you are making it into the path or not and how you are making it into the path. I mean thats the point. Other than that I think every aspect of the dharma can be brought into your work situation. I don't know if I've said enough on that. Of course I haven't mentioned the obvious which is bringing your awareness..the play between your awareness on the cushion and your awareness when you are actually working in the world during your daily life. Whether your like me where your mostly directly involved in activities that are directed towards understanding dharma or whether you are more hands on living your daily life and making that into dharma. I think the instructions for carrying from your meditations into your daily life is exactly the same its the same kind of bringing your awareness to the path in all different ways actually. I mean in discovering the heart of buddhism and trusting the heart of buddhism there is all sorts of ways I have suggested of how you can do that.