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going to just do it 'wrong'

AMHAMH
edited December 2011 in General Banter
I am so irritated with work issues right now, I have been trying to put a few conversations off until I have my major projects done (family nights tonight and monday) but geez, these are not going away. I keep on going to these trainings and learning more and more about dealing with conflict and difficult people and cultural sensitivity, but today I just need to support some people and tell another in a 2 minute conversation 'do this'.

I spent too many years with some manipulative and messed up people, I still tend to give the benefit of the doubt too much however I am starting to think that this person is bringing up crappy petty issues rather than managing his site to deflect attention from the one part of his job he has been trying to get out of from day one. Really, yesterday it was about staff having food in the non-kid areas. They all come directly from college classes. I know that the strictest case there should beno fast food, but I have often brought a soda and put it out of sight myself because of how my day runs. So he talked to them, talked to me, and then called my supervisor. It was some french fires dude, Can I stop being so nice?

Comments

  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    It's natural to give people the benefit of the doubt, I think. Until they show a pattern of taking advantage of that. Watch out for manipulative people. The only language they understand is direct and firm language. No-nonsense type talk. Once you've been messed with enough, I would think some anger would arise, that you can draw on to give some force to your words. I don't mean actually get angry, I mean use that fed-up feeling as a tool to give strength to your voice. You can do this, it sounds like you've done it with other staff. But I imagine it may get tiresome to always have to be the "enforcer".
  • AMHAMH
    yeah, enforcer is not my style. So I talked to two people, told them what we are doing today, said we would talk next week. I am getting very different perspectives on what happens on a day to day basis. I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see what the heck is really happening. Of course I am human and have some personal likes and dislikes that I am not putting at the forefront.

    It was also not fun that I went to a cultural sensitivity training and I felt that I have a uniqu background. I may be white female but I was raised specifically non-rascist parents. I never heard a racist comment, joke or talk about those 'others'. Any adult that talked like that my parents just didn't have around us kids. I think that was a big deal being raised in the 70's
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    I heard racist comments as a kid, but I always felt they were ignorant comments. It always felt embarrassing, that educated people could hold such views. Just because kids grow up with negative influences doesn't mean they absorb them. Why, what did the sensitivity training people say?
  • SileSile Veteran
    edited December 2011
    I heard racist comments as a kid, but I always felt they were ignorant comments. It always felt embarrassing, that educated people could hold such views. Just because kids grow up with negative influences doesn't mean they absorb them. Why, what did the sensitivity training people say?
    Racist towards yourself, or towards others? I'd say that's an exceptionally good and healthy reaction to have, as a kid (feeling the comments were a sign of ignorance). It says a lot about being able to survive the comments, yet see the perpetrators as ignorant (instead of just plain "bad," etc.)

  • lamaramadingdonglamaramadingdong Veteran
    May I recommend "Fierce Conversations" by Susan Scott. Very good practical advice.
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    You're right, Sile. My post was ambiguous. I meant, I heard them from parents and other adults in the home.
  • SileSile Veteran
    You're right, Sile. My post was ambiguous. I meant, I heard them from parents and other adults in the home.
    Sorry - got you. Well, still a good and healthy reaction for a kid, even if they weren't directed at you!
  • AMHAMH
    THe sensitivity people were great, I am just in a bad mood. Since I am currently at my international night created by me to increase awareness with my staff and families about our differences (that not all spanish speakers are mexican and white does not mean generic) I guess I am still wanting more credit for where I am and what I have done rather than another training.
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    edited December 2011
    (that not all spanish speakers are mexican and white does not mean generic)
    Yeah, in fact, Hispanic can mean "white". (But you knew that.) We give you credit! The work you do is high-stress work (supervising usually is), and also highly skilled. I wish you could get paid more, but I've said that before. Do you think you might be able to apply for a grant for your program, and pay yourself a partial salary out of it, while using some to fund special programs? Just brainstorming.
  • AMHAMH
    Hmmm, we are under the 21st century grant which covers lots of out of school time programs, there is a program in several cities called Beacons which is very well known. So i think I made a good impression with my event tonight. It was fun and I am exhausted and still owe some people paperwork from this week. In any case I am working with some people to pair up our program with a running program and they are writing the grant to Saucony. It is a lot of major connections here, the school staff person who runs marathons has applied before, the running organization is applying for the 3rd time, and we are really wanting this to happen. If we get it then you will here a woo hoo all the way from Colorado. This is my first foray into working with someone in the grant writing process.

    Okay wandered off, I am a school district employee paid for by a federal grant. So i cannot write my own grant at this time, however I have been with this job field for little over a year and have continued to do good work, be noticed and network. A major benefit to be a school district employee is that I can cover insurance for me and my children. Since their dad was laid off I had to take that over. It is decent insurance and I get an allowance that covers me and so I only pay for the kids. That also means I may have an 'in' to teaching jobs that pay me about $15K more with my masters. I am loving this after school stuff so much, more stress with managing adults but so much fun to not worry about standardized tests.

    So i am focusing on this field, building relationships, stressing myself to do a perfect job at times, but the 3 hours every day I have the chance to play with kids is great. I have about 6 days of 4 hours a day over winter break (extra pay and I am so grateful) and i can do more playing than supervising.
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    Those benefits are important. OK, it sounds like, overall, it's working for you. Good news. :)
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