The Girl Next Door

ThailandTom

Do not let the name of this thread mislead you. Ever since I have moved into this house which now is nearly two months ago, there has been sounds coming from the house to the right. The houses are all attached and it is fairly easy to hear loudish conversations. This woman next door is I guess (as I have never seen her) in her 70s at least. It appears she has lost her mind and has something like Alzheimer's. Throughout the day and night she randomly will make noises that are not in thai or any language from what I can tell. Sometimes they are mere grunts, sometimes they are noises of surprise or shock, maybe even curiosity, but then other times she sounds like she is very frustrated and in pain. She has her daughter there 24/7 who helps. But living next door and hearing this day in day out makes me a part of it in a way. I am not angry at it, maybe at first I was, but then I thought about the situation they are in. Now I often hear the noises but they do not register as much as it is the norm, but it does instill a sense of compassion to be so close to someone like this who you have never met or seen for that matter.

MindGate

My mom used to work at a nursing home. When I went there as a child, there were always some rooms that freaked me out because the women in those rooms howled and moaned and shrieked and made all sorts of ungodly noises. To deal with that 24/7, nurses must have a huge sense of compassion and nerves of steel as well.

ThailandTom

Yes, one of my ex-girlfriends use to work in an old peoples home. She had some stories to tell. She also had a heart of gold though, I think it takes someone like that to do such a thing.

As I said though, I have never seen this woman next door or been into their house, but hearing what she and her daughter are going through is hard enough. I cannot help but think of wat her daughter feels like. I doubt her mother recognizes her, she cannot speak properly and she must have to do some pretty discusting things daily. The worse part is, she is slowly watching her mother die at the same time.

federica

I'm not trying to create problems where there might be none, but - is there any possibility of domestic abuse?
It's very common for children of parents who have succumbed to this condition, to vent their frustration and anger on the parent by mistreating them.
Desperately sad - but it happens, far too often, too.....

ThailandTom

That has never occurred to me actually. I would not know. I have been here in this house for 2 months, and things have not changed with regards to how this woman acts, so I could not say. That is sad to think that they would do that to their own mother, but I guess worse things have happened.

StaticToybox

That doesn't really sound like Alzheimer's, at least not from my experience. My mother-in-law (age 86) has it. It's been around a decade since she was diagnosed, and she doesn't really make random noises like that. But maybe some with worse progression of the disease do, I dunno.

ThailandTom

Maybe she has jusy totally lost her sanity, I have no idea. But I have gotten use to the noises now, I really do not recognize them so much. Also, she can also be used like a clock sometimes, for example 4am she starts to get active, and also around 1pm. I have never personally met or heard any person make noises like that before.

ThailandTom

Ever since you mentioned the whole abuse thing federica, I have started to have second thoughts. Some of the moans and yelps are noises of pain I am sure. But why is she in pain sometimes, I do not know. It could be related to her illness or as you sadly portrayed, her daughter..

federica

it's a sad but real fact. However, I am obviously not suggesting this is a definite occurrence next door.
The only thing I can suggest is that you casually mention you hear noises, and they could almost those of distress.
ask your neighbour if she needs help or support.....
If she is resistant or hostile even, then consider 'firing a warning shot across the bows'....

My mother once told a neighbour in a similar situation, outright:
"If I hear any more noises of this kind, I will contact the authorities and suggest they investigate. If I find out you've been cruel to your father, you will have hell to pay."

The noises stopped.....

ThailandTom

I don't think much would happen if I were to contact anybody here in Thailand to be honest. A forerigner contacting the police because he thinks his neighbour is abusing her elderly mother. They would probably laugh at me. That is just how it is here.
Thailand has this love-hate thing with white people or forerigners, we even have a name 'farang' which is constantly used in convo. We are loved because we have money, but we are not allowed to do certain things and get treated in a certain way because we are not thai. So my complaint would not get through shall we say, maybe even if my GF made the complaint nothing would happen, 'silly matters' according to the corrupt police.

Bodha8

Don't be a "fargang idiot". Call the authorities right away. I think fed has it figured out, but be careful.

With Metta

ThailandTom

There is the 'tourist police' but I don't know. I don't want to cause issues if there are none. But then again there may be issues already. I personally would prefer to have more knowledge on the situation before calling the feds.