I liked it when I read it but my mate says he shouldnt give up the day job...?

Zero

Work shirt

Rippled deception wraps me neatly packaged ready for another day.
Nod, smile.
Flaming memories of blazing sun soaked skin lashes the flimsy cotton.
Fluffy innocence long since dyed a less noble cousin to crimson, burdening as chain mail might.

AMH

I like it too, but most of us can't give up day jobs.

Enjoy writing! Let it be what it is, I like the rippled deception

Zero

Feels better shorter?

Rippled deception ready to wrap another day.
Flaming memory of blazing sun soaked skin lashes the flimsy cotton, long since dyed a less noble cousin to crimson, burdening as chain mail might.

AMH

yes, more poetic and gives more of an image than an explanation

Zero

Thanks for the input... have mulled this more to find some balance and have rested on (onto the next one me thinks!):

Rippled deception of day.
Dyed the less noble cousin to crimson, burdening as chain mail might.

Lady_Alison

Do you work in a prison, or are you a slave?

Zero

Both are good analogies...! it expressed itself as a simple key to me and my challenge was to convey without personally changing it... with a little help from @aheerdt!!

Lady_Alison

Love it... Keep writing, at the very least it will be theraphy.

I write as a hobby. My characters lead interesting reckless lives. And do everything I dare not.

Although I very much want more "no thought momments"

Thinking of failing out of a plane with a sky diving instructer strapped to my ass.

Lol

DaltheJigsaw

Good stuff!:) Reminds me of my stuff! Keep writing and keep the mind on mindfulness your writing might get you somewhere!:)

Lady_Alison

Hi leon!